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Home ed

Find advice from other parents on our Homeschool forum. You may also find our round up of the best online learning resources useful.

To not send dc back to school after holidays

335 replies

fernTaylo · 23/12/2018 22:50

Basically the school is too far, I don’t drive, public transport is stressful, busy and takes far far too long
No places at any schools nearer
The dc are tired , im terribly stressed and feel that home education would be better all round as we wouldn’t be travelling for a large part of the day, less stress etc
Socialising can be done at other activities they go to
I’m 99% decision made already as am just so tired

OP posts:
SingleAlways · 24/12/2018 00:11

We home educate.

You are in the wrong place to ask about home education here, it was never going to end well!...If you are on Facebook try Home Education UK and ask about your local groups that you can join :)

We have home edded for 6 years now. The social side is quite hard because we live in a rural area. Educationally you just need the internet and WHSmiths. Lots of resources out there if you look.

Please do NOT contact your Local Authority, just have a look at their policy on home ed, then speak to your local area group for their experiences. LA's are there to keep children in school, not to help the parent opt out. They really have not a clue how to home educate, you need to ask the people who are actually doing it.

The best thing about home ed for me...the end of the school run...BLISS. YANBU to want you and your children to get off the treadmill! I will get slated for that but you know, meh. Heard it all before from Joe Public. Get the same for being vegetarian.

DM me if you like :)

MrMakersFartyParty · 24/12/2018 00:12

30 mins! I have an hour and a half to work on top of dropping my kids off.. Sounds like you need support. Home education should be based on your children's needs not yours.

Dishevelled09 · 24/12/2018 00:14

My daughter had a home tutor provided by the local authority for 2 years due to medical reasons, she was housebound and had chronic fatigue syndrome after a virus. Have you looked at inter high, that could fill the gap until they are older to travel by themselves? My daughter is in school now, it was a gradual transition and she loves being at school but ours was medically based. I would never have tried home schooling myself but if you can afford it look at online providers. If you have a debilitating illness and doesn't matter whether it's psychological or biological I would ask for help before pulling them from school. no-one understands unless they have been in the same position. I was horrified at the thought of her missing school but she has still learnt when she was well enough and 1-2-1 covers more in an hour than being in a class full of 30.

MrMakersFartyParty · 24/12/2018 00:14

I also feel awful for your kids, they will be picking up on your stress and will think that a 30 min journey is excessive!

ToeToToe · 24/12/2018 00:15

Home education can work - but it tends to work best when a family is fundamentally dedicated to HE as a concept - rather than HE as a response to "problems" with school - according to research I read.

I HE one of my DC for a few months, because he was having a v bad time in yr6. School refusal etc. It was a nightmare, and there really was no other option.

He joined a brand new secondary school in yr7 - and has (thank god) been fine ever since.

HE was - it turns out - the right thing for him at the time. It gave him a break, he got stronger, I explained about secondary school, gcse's etc - and how I would be unable to teach him to gcse level - and thankfully, he has happily attended secondary school ever since.

HE is not as easy or as idyllic as you think it will be. I can guarantee it. It turns into "a job" - and it can be stressful getting them to settle to any actual education, and not treat the whole thing as they would a weekend or holiday. But it might be the right thing for you. It is true you do not have to follow the National Curriculum - but you do have to provide "an education" Have you planned how you will do that?

I can't imagine getting 8 buses a day, and I'm not disabled. If you have HE groups around you, it could work for you all. Things to think about - What would your daily routine be? What about secondary education? Is the socialisation from activities really enough? Will you cope with having them around 24-7 with no break? (That last one was the one I found most tiring - and it was only a few months).

Good luck OP - a lot of people are very against HE, and I feel you're getting a bit of hard time here.

NoIAmSpartacus · 24/12/2018 00:16

@MrMakersFartyParty it's a little bit different as the kids are travelling for an hour a day on 4 buses whereas OP is having to catch 8 buses a day.

I'm not sure I could manage catching 40 buses a week!

SadOtter · 24/12/2018 00:17

How is your understanding on maths and literacy OP? and how well do you understand the curriculum/are you able to research it? or can you afford a tutor for bits you aren't confident on?

I don't mean that patronisingly but my very well educated mum home educated my brother and I for a bit, she was a university lecturer so by no means stupid, her grasp of primary school maths however was not up to teaching a child.

we love weekends and holidays we do fun activities educational activities and homework etc So I know it would just be like that every day It won't be like that, you'll need to do all the boring bits too, and the bits your DC don't want to do but need to learn, and explain new things from scratch. I'm an HLTA, I generally work with children with SN and/or behavioural difficulties, so not the easiest to teach, I still wouldn't home educate my generally quite lovely children because it would be too stressful!

I'm not against home education, some people do it really well, but it does sound like you are looking at it as an easy option and it really isn't.

ILoveMaxiBondi · 24/12/2018 00:19

Yes it’s true a lot of people on MN have zero idea about HE and how it actually works. You do see a lot of shite spouted from a position of ignorance. However in this case I think OP is also coming at it from a position of ignorance. It doesn’t sound like she has looked into HE at all other than knowing there are 2 local HE groups.

PengAly · 24/12/2018 00:25

I dont think there is an issue with HE per say, granted its done correctly and for the right reasons. My concern is the OP is very obviously doing it for their own benefit and not for the benefit of their children.

YoungLennyGodber · 24/12/2018 00:25

A lot of people are very against HE, and I feel you're getting a bit of hard time here.

I’m not against HE when done for the right reasons. The OP hasn’t given a good reason, only her convenience.

LoniceraJaponica · 24/12/2018 00:28

I think you need to focus on why you are overwhelmed so easily. Another visit to the GP is in order. Have you considered that you may be on the autism spectrum, because the way you describe how you feel is one of the traits.

posthistoricmonsters · 24/12/2018 00:35

Home ed is fantastic, as long as you are well organised and we'll connected to all the right groups. You have to be able to access tutoring for anything maths based which you aren't confident in. But other home edders can help recommend people for that.

I don't home ed because I'm not well (so the break from the kids helps me refresh for when they come home) and they both have special needs which I do not have the training to cope with at an educational level (and I'm also an impatient sod -we cope with homework activities together, sometimes doing the above and beyond extra work bits - but that's it).

I'm angry that so many people are ripping you to shreds for stating your issues. I am overwhelmed by everything, just about. I have ADHD and ASD as well as my physical disabilities, it's a nightmare. I've passed the same on to my kids (hooray for the authorities never diagnosing females from my generation until it's too late and we've procreated...) andy youngest gets very overwhelmed.

It's all about coping strategies.

I would keep on and on at the LA for placements nearer you. You're disabled and struggle with the bus, of which you have to take two just for one one way journey to the school. By all means tell the LA that if they cannot get them into a nearer school or help with transport, that you will be pulling them out. Speak to adult social services, they may have some advice.

Good luck whatever you choose.

ItsalmostSummer · 24/12/2018 00:36

Home educate. It’s normal where I live. Don’t believe only a school can educate your kids. Just do it. There is so much online stuff to follow. You’ll have to be strong though and stand up to those who say you shouldn’t do it. We are vbraibeashef to believe only schools can help our kids grow up. So just do it. I wish I did. I think it saves so much angst. Home schooled kids are some of nicest kids who haven’t been bullied and dont bully either.
Honestly I think at school our kid get a little school work each day and there’s a lot more sitting around waiting for classroom teachers to deal with 20+ other kids, and then the fighting and the way kids pull each other down (especially secondary school). Don’t drag your kids on public transport and get tired for all that. You could be their best educator.

olympic19 · 24/12/2018 00:37

Honestly, I think this sounds like a terrible idea, TERRIBLE. If you're feeling overwhelmed getting the kids to school, how on earth will you deal with the daily stresses of lesson planning, getting to activities, etc. You mentioned that your husband takes them at the weekend because you struggle, which makes me think that you really won't cope with being with your children 7 days a week. That's not a criticism as such - I wouldn't, either, but it doesn't sound like a good foundation for homeschooling.

ItsalmostSummer · 24/12/2018 00:37

vbraibeashef Means *brainwashed lol.
Sorry to hear it’s hard for you. I say go for it.

Booboostwo · 24/12/2018 00:38

A curriculum is not simply a list of things you follow, it is an understanding of the goals of the educational project, a conception of the things you need to teach to achieve these goals and a variety of methods for teaching these subjects. It doesn’t have to be focused on exams but it has to be focused on something. The more abstract goals, e.g, “fostering a love of learning”, “teaching critical reasoning skills”, are the most difficult to instantiate in practice and require years of practice and experience.

There is a reason why people follow set curricula and this is because it takes quite a lot of skill as a teacher to deviate from them - and I say this as an educator who has not run the same class twice since I was a junior lecturer (and couldn’t cope with more creative ways of teaching).

Sandbox · 24/12/2018 00:38

Hold on, I just reread the thread.
You can’t cope with the travel
You can’t cope at weekends so dad has them
If they want to go to a group dad will take time off work to take them

In the kindest possible way are you sure home ed won’t just turn into you not being able to cope and the children not doing anything? Which is perfectly legal but not the best childhood they could have.

FuzzyShadowChatter · 24/12/2018 00:48

I've home educated for over 10 years now. I'm trying to be a kind voice of experience but, like others, there are some concerns. Maybe a bit of a reality check can help you readjust your plans.

Don't home educate if you expect it to be easier than sending them to school or to be cheap or the groups or someone else will take on most or even make a dent in the work. Every home educator I know - from the most unschooler types to the uber-structured classical educator types - has incredibly stressful days where we've considered schools. Even the unschoolers I know who are trying to provide resources for their kids as well as structured people like me get lesson planning and teaching fatigue. I don't think it's anything like teachers get, but being the parent and the teacher is hard. I'll admit I've had days where I've ended up in tears and I know more than a few home educators whove told me the same. Many kids - especially as they get older - find it hard to take the kind of criticism it takes to improve work from their parents.

Outsourcing any of it tends to be expensive. Each home educator I know has had to shuffle funds to try to get a resource or programme for their kid - the unschoolers I know spend a lot more on trips and activities compared to me who spends quite a bit on curriculums. Just the main maths programme I use for Y1-Y6 - is currently ~£140, not including manipulates or measuring tools and lesson plans if needed are separate. I got it on sale and as it's a PDF I can reuse across all kids which makes it more affordable for us but you have to then add up the costs for other subjects. I know people who spend way more and those I know who spend a lot less design their own which is an entirely different level of stress. Open-and-go curriculums are popular with home educators for a reason - they're less stress and tend to actually get done more. The best curriculum is the one that gets done, not the fun plan that doesn't.

Every home education groups has been like herding cats - they're there, can be great fun and loving environments, but not the most reliable - and I would never plan on them to be the main part of either my kids' education plan or for socializing. The groups are good for meeting people and occasional interesting experiences but the long-term friendships all rely on meeting up in people's homes regularly rather than the group. Play dates seem to be a home ed essential well after typical school play date age.

The fun of the holidays is not the same as doing lessons with your kids day in, day out. You'd be the school and not the holiday camp. Please do not home educate if you're going into thinking it's going to be like holiday educational activities because when you sit down trying to work on whatever subject your kid struggles with most - tends to be writing and/or maths that causes the most stress among those I know - home educators need to be able to put the fun part aside and make sure work gets done or kids will be left behind just as if they did nothing but education fun activities at school. It will be even harder if you plan to continue and home educate for KS3.

There are a lot fewer home educated kids the older they get. Once they hit the secondary age and even fewer once they become teenagers. A few do come out of school during those years but not enough stay home educated long or go to open mixed age groups. The amount of home educated kids my son started with was in the dozens. That has dwindled down to about 3 I know in our area, including him and he's chosen to move onto a school next year for Y10 for GCSEs and engineering. I was a recent home education event with plenty of primary age kids, about 5 Y7-age kids, and 1 kid who was GCSE age.

As to the idea that it being legal means it's as good as schools - well - there are good schools and bad schools, there are good home education situations and bad home education situations. Home educating by itself doesn't make it good, it takes a lot of effort just like teaching vs good teaching that helps people learn. Don't home educate if you think educating at home means it will be good.

There are many reasons to home educate but only do it if you can move from fun part to the full part. Pretty much any HE group has people who love to talk about how free and less stressful and better home educating is and it's those same people who make a panicky scramble requesting resources and tutors. Happens all the time, it's really stressful for those parents and those kids, and as home educating parents, I think it's a duty to try to ensure that that isn't us and ours. Only you can make the choice, but there is lot more to consider than the commute issues.

YoungLennyGodber · 24/12/2018 00:50

Just go for it... what irresponsible advice.

‘You could be their best educator’ - maybe she could, if she had their best interests at heart. Or showed any interest in home education other than it’s apparent suitability for her needs, not those of her children.

Teddy1970 · 24/12/2018 00:50

There's no way I could HE, just trying to get the DC to read and do their homework they start acting like Kevin the teenager, but if their teacher asks them to do reading or maths in school then they do it, no questions because they know that they'll be consequences otherwise.

RomanyRoots · 24/12/2018 00:51

OP the only thing you need to do by law is deregister with the school and provide an education suitable for the age of your children.
You don't have to see anyone from the education dept but it's advisable to respond to any contact from them.
You don't have to follow any curriculum, but obviously you are on your own as far as the LA is concerned, they don't offer much help, and of course they shouldn't.

aconcertpianist · 24/12/2018 00:59

@FuzzyShadowChatter

What a fantastic and well balanced post. I wonder if it could be pinned in some way.

Lovingbenidorm · 24/12/2018 01:08

I really don’t think your reasons for home schooling have been thought through.
I’m not bashing it at all, and I know for some it works really well BUT
It seems to me it’s really valuable to have an ‘expert’ in each subject, different experiences, personalities and mixing with friends during learning time not just at clubs and out of school.
My dd is preparing for mocks in January.
I’ve just glanced at a further maths book she left in the kitchen and had to have a lie down!
I couldn’t teach her that in a million years!

user1473878824 · 24/12/2018 01:08

@PinkAvocado well my SS’s interests and needs are Nerf guns, Fortnite and food. Not sure that’s going to be much help in the job market.

Maryjoyce · 24/12/2018 01:16

Home education is by good as long as you actually do it. I Have done so with my 3 girls since my eldest daughter hated been in school at 7 and it made far more sense to do so which in turn allowed the travel we now do for my business as well.
There’s good online sites that can cover the syllabus for exams but as another poster said you don’t need to follow any syllabus and if you do you’ll cover it very quickly as it’s one to one unlike been in a class of 30.
To me it’s all about teaching them much more than the basic school syllabus and most important you can teach common sense and far more practical useful things than any school does

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