Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Home ed

Find advice from other parents on our Homeschool forum. You may also find our round up of the best online learning resources useful.

Original poster

To not send dc back to school after holidays

335 replies

fernTaylo · 23/12/2018 22:50

Basically the school is too far, I don’t drive, public transport is stressful, busy and takes far far too long
No places at any schools nearer
The dc are tired , im terribly stressed and feel that home education would be better all round as we wouldn’t be travelling for a large part of the day, less stress etc
Socialising can be done at other activities they go to
I’m 99% decision made already as am just so tired

OP posts:
Mummyshark2018 · 23/12/2018 23:30

Do you qualify for home to school transport from LA? Are you more than 2-3 Miles from current school?

SushiMonster · 23/12/2018 23:31

I just get so so overwhelmed and struggle with the busy buses and the rushing each day and I would live that to be out of our lives

And what about when trying to get your children to do school work becomes too stressful? You just stop and watch TV

What about when going out for social activities is too stressful for you? You keep your children at home all the time?

YoungLennyGodber · 23/12/2018 23:32

Everything in your posts is about you OP. The kid’s shouldn’t be having a say in this - it’s a decision for an adult to make in their best interests. But it seems you’re doing it purely for your convenience.

Original poster
fernTaylo · 23/12/2018 23:32

The dc go to museums etc a lot anyway but their dad takes them at weekends as I struggle
He would probably take time off work I assume if there was a trip planned if we were he educating
Local trips during the day at less busy times I feel I’d cope with

OP posts:
trappedinsuburbia · 23/12/2018 23:32

How do the kids feel about it?
If they're ok I would go for it, at least until a space comes up in a closer school.

Soconfusedbylife · 23/12/2018 23:33

All of the reasons you’ve given have been about your wellbeing and not your children’s. Are they happy at school other than being exhausted at the end of term like every other child?

Original poster
fernTaylo · 23/12/2018 23:33

That would be different it’s like at weekends when we do activities or homework that is not a source of stress for me

OP posts:
PickAChew · 23/12/2018 23:34

30 minutes on the bus, that you presumably do day in, day out, so you know all the pitfalls, is nothing.

If you find this stressful, how will you cope with various home Ed groups, say sports in location A on Monday, language group at B, a mile in the opposite direction on Tuesday, game group on Wednesday...? You catch my drift.

I was expecting you to say you had an 80 minute journey, or something.

MadCatEnthusiast · 23/12/2018 23:35

OP, do you live in London or a big city by any chance that offer subsidied taxi service for those with health conditions?

YoungLennyGodber · 23/12/2018 23:35

The most important thing you can give your kids is a good education. I find it infuriating that you’re willing to gamble with their future prospects because you ‘can’t cope’ with two buses. It’s totally self-absorbed and selfish. It’s not about you anymore.

Original poster
fernTaylo · 23/12/2018 23:36

They are very adaptable and would be equally happy I think home educated or at school but my older child I think would prefer home. Younger I’m not sure
I just feel it would be better for our family that things would be happier and calmer
I’m not sure what the issue is I’ve never understood but I’d feel a lot lot better without that stress and at our own pace

OP posts:
LonnyVonnyWilsonFrickett · 23/12/2018 23:37

I'm not actually agin HE, but in these circumstances you're doing it to 'solve' your anxiety. There's not a word here about what's best for the DCs. And Anxiety will always find somewhere to grow you know. If it's not the school run, it will be the trips out, or the group socialising aspect of HE will be difficult... so the short answer is, no - I don't believe a 30 min commute is a good enough reason to home Ed.

Original poster
fernTaylo · 23/12/2018 23:37

The fact we have 2 groups so nearby has been a big factor in me wanting to make this decision as they are walkable and one at a centre which is big with a lot of facilities meaning the dc could get a huge amount from that particular group

OP posts:
anniehm · 23/12/2018 23:38

Before you make a final decision it's worth speaking to the council - they have a right to ask you about your home ed plans etc as you are removing them from the roll, if you explain partly is due to transport they may be able to help. When I threatened home Ed they magically found a place at the school across the road (instead of 30 min walk no bus option)

YoungLennyGodber · 23/12/2018 23:39

Ah well, whatever’s more convenient for you eh? Whatever’s easiest Hmm

Original poster
fernTaylo · 23/12/2018 23:39

I’m not sure it’s anxiety it’s hard to explain it’s more just being overwhelmed I think?
I just want the dc to have a mum who isn’t always stressed I’d like to have a stress free routine at home and locally rather than how things are at the moment

OP posts:
Original poster
fernTaylo · 23/12/2018 23:40

It’s not laziness as I’m not lazy at all
I have just always been very easily overwhelmed and it honestly feels dreadful sometimes and I want to be a calmer parent and to take away the source of the stress

OP posts:
Romanmonkey · 23/12/2018 23:40

It does sound like you’re doing this for your benefit and not your dc’s

RB68 · 23/12/2018 23:40

its not 30 mins for OP its two hours and 8 buses total

It sounds like there are medical reasons for the overwhelm and possibly also the physicality of it with two kids kit and kaboodle. In primary the limit for school transport is lower especially if the route is unsafe for some reason. I would enquire about home to school transport at your local council and see what is available to help with. I would also start pestering re moving schools as well.

With regard to home education its really rude and disingenuous to to say if she cant cope with a 30 minute bus ride how will she cope HE. There is plenty of support for people home educating including syllabus all worked out and ready and actually it can be more student lead. Also HE maybe the route to new schools as if you are waiting for places potentially you could end up with kids at two schools to start with.

I would also think about how well the children are doing at school anyway as if they are doing really well and are self motivated it can make a huge difference, than if they are struggling - although there are pros to HE if they struggle too

abacucat · 23/12/2018 23:41

I too am worried about your reasons for HE. HE should be about what is best for your kids, not your needs.

FenellasRedVelvetDress · 23/12/2018 23:41

YoungLennyGodber

Look and read at what the OP has written.
She has a medical condition which means she can’t drive - we don’t know what that is but it could be something which causes her great pain . She might have terrible scars and not want to be stared at. She might have no arms ........who knows what it is. But it’s enough that the OP can’t drive ( and may never be able to) and that the stress and preparation is too much, always has been I get easily overwhelmed

Then you come along and tell her thats not a long journey and thats not a good enough reason.....because you can’t do two buses you’re the adult here, you need to get on with it.
How bloody patronising and nasty and judgemental. Did you really mean to be so nasty??
My DH could no sooner do a double 30 minute bus journey 4 times a day ( which is what that is there and back ) than he could do brain surgery. He couldnt do it. The stress of simply preparing for something like that , of trying to imagine every possible scenario, every day would most likely make his life somstressfu” he would have a heart attack.
It might not be a long journey to you but it sounds like utter hell for the OP so don’t judge everybody by your own abilities and standards.

fernTaylo
It sounds like you have done lots of thinking and planning re HE.
Try it - what have you got to loose. You can still ensure your kids are properly socialised by arranging activities, play dates/sleepovers, meeting with other HE parents. You can follow curriculum if you choose and mix it with some things which will interest your kids as you know them best.
If your kids are happy to do it then try it for the next two terms and see how it goes.
I think that six hours a day in a ‘ class’ with two students and someone who wants to teach them ( and there’s SO much available on the Internet now) will ensure they learn as much as they would in a class with a teacher and 25 other kids.
Good luck. I think you will be fine and your whole family life will benefit from the huge downturn in stress in your lives.

Thewifipasswordis · 23/12/2018 23:41

30 minute commute Confused I'm in the bathroom longer than that. I also feel that if you cannot cope with that and a bus journey how are you going to cope with home education? Home education is not a walk in the park.

Although some of the crap posters have replied with here clearly shows many have no idea how home education works Hmm you don't have to be a teacher or have the skills of one to home educate. It's about facilitating, not teaching. It is not a 'classroom at home'.

How are you going to find tutors, exam sessions, plan field trips, go on learning days OP if you cannot face a 30 minute bus trip?

HighsandLows77 · 23/12/2018 23:41

@fernTaylo is it the actual bus journey that stresses you or getting up and getting ready for school in the mornings?

LonnyVonnyWilsonFrickett · 23/12/2018 23:42

I think people are finding it hard to understand why a short bus journey is overwhelming though. Can you unpick that a bit? Why does it overwhelm you?

Original poster
fernTaylo · 23/12/2018 23:42

I tried antidepressants in the past and things like getting up earlier to try and have an easier journey but nothing is helping
It’s got to a point where I can’t do it and dread next term

OP posts: