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Home ed

Find advice from other parents on our Homeschool forum. You may also find our round up of the best online learning resources useful.

Original poster

To not send dc back to school after holidays

335 replies

fernTaylo · 23/12/2018 22:50

Basically the school is too far, I don’t drive, public transport is stressful, busy and takes far far too long
No places at any schools nearer
The dc are tired , im terribly stressed and feel that home education would be better all round as we wouldn’t be travelling for a large part of the day, less stress etc
Socialising can be done at other activities they go to
I’m 99% decision made already as am just so tired

OP posts:
Booboostwo · 23/12/2018 23:56

it is seriously impacting sorry about the typo.

NoIAmSpartacus · 23/12/2018 23:56

The whole world is stressed out. Show me a parent who isn’t stressed out and I’ll show you a liar.

What makes you so special? Take your kids to school.

How sympathetic and kind towards a woman clearly in need of support!

I'm sorry you're feeling so stressed OP. It may just be a 30 minute bus journey but that is 8 buses a day which would be quite stressful for me ( I do suffer with anxiety though so it may be perfectly normal for some).

I know you say your mind is made up but perhaps consider talking to a GP about how stressed you are, it sounds like you are extremely overwhelmed at the moment and could really do with speaking to someone and getting that sorted. Perhaps if you did that it would mean the journey could become a bit more manageable for you. I'd try that before pulling them out of school as it does sound like you need some help.

I grew up with a boy a few on my road who was a few years younger than me and was homeschooled and we are still in touch now, he is doing really well in life, he has lots of friends and is earning a decent wage and is very happy. His mum pulled him out of school in year 3 or 4.

Hope things get better soon Thanks

abacucat · 23/12/2018 23:57

OP I don't think you are listening to anyone on this thread. I suspect you will pull your kids out of school to make sure your needs are better met. Rather than thinking of what is best for your children.

aaaaargghhhhelpme · 23/12/2018 23:57

I have to be honest op I think pulling your kids out of school for your benefit is a terrible idea.

I appreciate you have anxiety issues with the commute but I think you need to focus on dealing with that issue rather than not taking your kids to school. Your issues will still be there. What is the HE centre moves to a location that also requires two buses and a stressful commute?

The commute is just the symptom. I would be dealing with what is causing you to get so stressed.

Sorry you sound very upset and I appreciate anxiety can be crippling but I think it’s highly detrimental for your children when they have no need/desire to be home schooled.

donquixotedelamancha · 23/12/2018 23:57

But it wouldn’t be a legal option surely if it wasn’t as good as school

Not vaccinating your kids is legal.
Neglecting your kids is legal provided you don't fall below a (very low) bar.
Being homophobic is legal.
Eating junk food is legal.
Voting BNP is legal.
Homeopathy is legal.

The government does not control people's lives. We make are own choices. Education law is predicated on the idea that parent will put their child's needs above all else.

HighsandLows77 · 23/12/2018 23:57

In the kindest way possible please call for a GP appointment as soon as possible OP

ILoveMaxiBondi · 23/12/2018 23:58

So I know it would just be like that every day

Ah! See this is the trap some people fall into. Thinking it will be like a permanent holiday. It won’t. For starters, it costs a lot of money to entertain and educate children at that level on a daily basis. As you will be HEing, you won’t be working, I assume you have a partner so will be a one wage family? Your local area can only provide so much in terms of entertainment and educational resources. Your children will bore of them very quickly and you will have to travel further afield to spice things up a bit and keep them interested. This means buses, you already struggle with buses, you say you have all your life. I suspect you are quite an introvert tbh. If so, you will burn out trying to keep up with all the group meeting and activities and outings. I’m an introvert, I know how hard it is to keep yourself motivated to go through with social engagements. Its exhausting. Before long you will find yourself creating reasons not to go to group today and just stay home.

LagunaBubbles · 23/12/2018 23:58

I think you should get help with your anxiety and how to manage stress personally, that jumps out as the main problem.

Sandbox · 24/12/2018 00:00

So many people on here who don’t know about home Ed.
There’s no curriculum, no visits, no recording work and you can educate how you want you. It can be great for some families and in school they’re not learning for 6 hours a day and most they won’t retain or only learn for exams anyway.
What do your children want? Where do they see there futures? How will you feel being with them all day every day? Will you actually go to home Ed groups and socialise?
I home educate and I’m desperately trying to get a school place at a special school for my son, I just can’t cope I’m ashamed to say. So have a real good think about the pros and cons and join some Facebook groups where you’ll get lots of brilliant help and advice about it

Crazybunnylady123 · 24/12/2018 00:01

Kids need school. They need to grow up in the real world.
You clearly need help, you need to go to the docs and go from there. Get support, get strong and then be a good mum.

YoungLennyGodber · 24/12/2018 00:01

The OP has already decided it’s in her best interests, I doubt she’ll be wasting time making sure it’s in her children’s.

ILoveMaxiBondi · 24/12/2018 00:01

I agree with speaking to your GP and asking for a referral to either social services or homestart. You are in panic mode which is why you keep saying “there is no other option” you just want the stress to go away, this isn’t about your children. Sorry OP. I know you have idealised HE in your head as the perfect solution but it isn’t for your children.

PinkAvocado · 24/12/2018 00:02

Kids need school. They need to grow up in the real world

I disagree. Children need educating in the world.

Mudmonster · 24/12/2018 00:03

Home Ed can be expensive, my friend HE her son and they are always out and about, they are rarely home. She has to pay for all the resources they use, she goes to a few groups but they still have to pay the cost of books and tutoring. It works for her family but her and her husband planned it very carefully and didn’t just jump into it because she couldn’t be bothered with mainstream school.

doublethink · 24/12/2018 00:03

We home educate, and it was something we spent months researching and deliberating over. I love the freedom of this way of life, but it has stresses of its own. It is full on, and a huge responsibility, so you may find it helpful to thoroughly consider the pros and cons of home ed compared to your current situation.

Home education can provide a rich, social, liberating, outdoorsy, creative, community based way of life. Or it can be kids stuck at home with workbooks feeling a bit isolated. It takes a lot of input and energy to do it well (I have periods in life where it feels like we're doing it less well due to ill health, so I'm not being smug!) and my advice would be to consider whether your energy would be better spent getting the kids to and from school or on home educating,and which of these is going to bring the the greatest emotional and physical health, and the best educational outcomes. My children are at the point where they want to see friends nearly every day, and even though we have a fair few hours at home each week, we tend to be out most of the time. This takes a lot of energy and organising, so you may find that this is more than you currently spend on getting them to school.

Have you been along to your local groups or met other families who home educate? Do you have supportive family?

Good luck with your decision.

purplerainbows · 24/12/2018 00:05

As others have said OP it sounds like this is for you and not your kids. I feel sorry for them. I'm a teacher myself and don't believe I could successfully home educate my children. (I know some people can and do it amazingly - but that is because they are doing it for the right reasons.)

NotMyFinestMoment · 24/12/2018 00:05

Without being flippant, but if you can't even get them to school in the morning, how on earth do you think you are going to be disciplined enough to home school them?!

Essentially, you wish to disrupt their education because travelling for 30 minutes is to much effort FOR YOU. Wow. Wow. Wow. Spectacularly selfish and what sort of impression do you think you will be creating for them by teaching them at the first sign of even the most tiniest issue, the first thing you do is give up. If you can't be disciplined enough to get them up and out in the morning, that's your problem not theirs. This is coming from a mum with medical problems who has similar issues to you regarding getting up and out in the mornings. If you are having difficulties getting up and ready and out in time in the morning, ask for an assessment by social services for you and state this is a major issue for you and that you need assistance to get them to school in the morning due to medical reasons. They may well arrange school transport for your children or a cab to school in the morning after assessing your care needs.

abacucat · 24/12/2018 00:06

Children need educating. HE can do that, but there is also educational neglect in the HE world.
I remember meeting a young man who had been HE by his mother. He said she was an introvert and although they started going ti HE groups and activities, she soon found excuses not to take them. He said after a year they got to the situation where they went very few places.
I can't help worrying that this is what you would do OP. Anxiety tends to get worse the more we retreat from situations that make us anxious.

arethereanyleftatall · 24/12/2018 00:06

If I've worked it out right, your dc are 8&9, or will be in the coming months. How close are they to being able to get the buses on their own?

Aridane · 24/12/2018 00:07

Oh goodness - what an awful thread - pulling children out of education because of the stress of the journey to,skill is awful. And the naïveté that it will be like the fun weekends which include educational activities.

Please, please, please set your GP for strategies for coping so,you don’t disrupt / potentially ruin your children’s lives

Aridane · 24/12/2018 00:07

(To school, not to skill)

Mikesh909 · 24/12/2018 00:08

There's no set list of things that they 'expect to be provided'.

You can choose to follow the national curriculum or any other curriculum you choose. You will likely need to source the resources for it yourself.

However, I second the majority view here that your own stress levels at using the bus, which you recognise were similar when commuting for work purposes and are therefore nothing truly to do with your children or school attendance, are not a good reason for homeschooling.

Of course is is stressful getting yourself and two dc out the door with everything they need and on time for public transport journey to school. The stress you feel is normal, proportionate and felt similarly by every parent. You should think about how to better deal with it, perhaps starting with some management of expectations.

abacucat · 24/12/2018 00:08

Also the HE may be walk able but kids may come from much further away. So you may have to take your kids quite a way if they are going to meet up with friends they make in HE.

MrsWillGardner · 24/12/2018 00:09

Have you got the children’s names down on a waiting list for the closer schools?

PengAly · 24/12/2018 00:11

OP you seem to be deciding to do this as its in your own interests. The stress is your stress, not your childrens and you need to find ways to cope with that because life has a lot of other overwhelming stresses. Im concerned that you wouldnt be able to cope with the homeschooling and also that your poor DCs would be missing out on a lot because their mother couldn't manage a 30 minute bus journey every day. Please consider putting your children before yourself in this instance

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