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Home ed

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Original poster

To not send dc back to school after holidays

335 replies

fernTaylo · 23/12/2018 22:50

Basically the school is too far, I don’t drive, public transport is stressful, busy and takes far far too long
No places at any schools nearer
The dc are tired , im terribly stressed and feel that home education would be better all round as we wouldn’t be travelling for a large part of the day, less stress etc
Socialising can be done at other activities they go to
I’m 99% decision made already as am just so tired

OP posts:
WhenISnappedAndFarted · 23/12/2018 23:42

OP are you sure it's just stress?

Could you be anxious as well? I used to get so stressed in situations like that and not do things but it was anxiety causing it and once I'd got my anxiety under control then I could cope.

YoungLennyGodber · 23/12/2018 23:42

But if it’s not in your children’s best interests, you shouldn’t do it. You need to be convinced that you can provide them with an excellent education. You don’t seem that fussed, as long as your life is less stressful.

Redglitter · 23/12/2018 23:43

And whay happens if you find HE overwhelming. Preparing their work & actually doing the educating and having your children home every single day sounds stressful too.

CrookedMe · 23/12/2018 23:43

You can't remove your children from school because you get stressed out on public transport!

YoungLennyGodber · 23/12/2018 23:45

Essentially you want your children to pay the price for your problems. They’re yours. Don’t inflict them on your DC. You’re being utterly selfish.

BrokenWing · 23/12/2018 23:46

You are very obviously not coping but looking in the wrong place for a solution. It would be wrong to disrupt your dcs education and put them at a massive disadvantage. Home education done right, for the right reasons can work but done from the wrong reasons can be damaging.

Can you go back to your GP and tell them you are struggling to get the dc to school and see if they can provide any support. Or speak to the school to see if there is any support available?

You need to find a way to get your dc to school.

HighsandLows77 · 23/12/2018 23:46

you do sound stressed but i’m not sure having the children at home every day will help.
could you maybe go to your GP over the holidays to speak about your stress and possibly anxiety levels ? Brew

MadCatEnthusiast · 23/12/2018 23:46

Is it the buildup of going on public transport?

Original poster
fernTaylo · 23/12/2018 23:47

I’m not actually sure as this is how I felt myself as a child going to school and also work before I had children
I think it’s just some kind of problem with feelings of being easily overwhelmed or at least that’s what it seems like
I’m not allowed to drive because of having regular migraines with aura where I lose all my vision and also because of fainting episodes so probably not something that would qualify me for any assistance with transport

OP posts:
Whatelsecouldibecalled · 23/12/2018 23:47

Yes yabvu unless you are qualified enough to teach your children to the same standard 11 (average number of GCSEs) teachers with a minimum of a degree in specialised subjects just because the bus is stressful.

Long term how will this work? Will your DC be able to sit real and correct exams to be able to access the next stage of their lives? Can you fully prepare them for the next stage of their lives at home? If it doesn’t work out and they go back to mainstream education how will the catch up on what they have missed without feeling hugely pressured?

Have you fully exhausted all other options before considering this?

Are there other options? Taxis? Childcare to take them? Family? Ask the school for help?

It sounds like you are utterly exhausted. I hope you get some rest and then can think it through a little more clearly.

ILoveMaxiBondi · 23/12/2018 23:47

OP before you decide I strongly advise you get in touch with both the HE groups and ask if you can visit and speak with some of the other parents to get a feel for them. HE groups can sometimes be quite cliquey and you may find you’ve pulled them out of school and don’t actually like any of the people at HE group or the activities they do. I’m all for HE in the right circumstances. I’ve done a lot of research into it for my own child (but decided against for our personal circumstances) but as someone who seems to have quite powerful anxiety who struggles with normal bus travel I think you could end up becoming very isolated with two children who aren’t leaving the house very often.

BittyCharleston · 23/12/2018 23:48

I just feel it would be better for our family that things would be happier and Calmer

...our own pace...

Im sorry OP, but you are still talking about yourself here, despite the 'we' and 'our' words. If your stress/travel anxiety is so bad that you can't do a 30 minute commute then you need to see your GP and start tackling whatever issue is there. Find out what support is available. And/or speak to the school.

I'm not diminishing the stress you feel, but you have to deal with that first and separately before making decisions about your children's education and future.

Besides, teaching is stressful. How are you going to travel to and from historical sites/museums/educational centres, etc? Homeschooling doesn't mean being at home all the time (that wouldn't be fair on your kids either).

Taking them out of school isn't some magic fix what whatever stress issues you have. Those need tackling, sure, but through the proper channels, and with minimal impact to your kid's education/well-being. Please speak to a GP about how debilitating this feeling is becoming. That's the issue here, judging by your posts.

Original poster
fernTaylo · 23/12/2018 23:48

I wouldn’t as we love weekends and holidays we do fun activities educational activities and homework etc
So I know it would just be like that every day

OP posts:
MissyCooper · 23/12/2018 23:50

The whole world is stressed out. Show me a parent who isn’t stressed out and I’ll show you a liar.

What makes you so special? Take your kids to school.

abacucat · 23/12/2018 23:50

The things you do at weekends is normal for good parents, but it is not enough for HE. What you are doing at weekends just tops up what your children learning at school. It is not the same as HE properly.

YoungLennyGodber · 23/12/2018 23:53

So I know it would just be like that every day

Do you even realise how totally unrealistic that is?

Original poster
fernTaylo · 23/12/2018 23:53

But it wouldn’t be a legal option surely if it wasn’t as good as school ?
I just want things to be better than thwt have been for years now it’s not good for any of us with things like this I feel like an empty shell
I love weekends and holidays but term time I feel unwell and overwhelmed and it’s ridiculous but I can’t pinpoint an exact cause it seems to be everything about getting ready and rushing and the journey all of it I just want to remove that stress

OP posts:
donquixotedelamancha · 23/12/2018 23:53

Education wise I could do that

I'm a qualified teacher - a very good one who trains other teachers. I've done extensive other work with young people. I have a lot of additional training and qualifications in the areas around teaching such as SEN and child development. My knowledge outside my own specialism is very broad. There is no way I could replace my child's primary teacher

Teachers spend years developing their skills. No one can home educate to the same standard a range of good teachers specialising in the age range and curriculum for your child at that particular time.

For some children, home education is the least bad option. For most it is not. I have spent the last 2 years trying to support a child who was home educated for much of primary (by a very committed parent), resulting in a shopping list of issues- I am not succeeding.

Please focus on fixing the actual problem rather than removing your kids from school.

Booboostwo · 23/12/2018 23:54

From what you say your anxiety is a serious issue. When your anxiety about crowds and traffic leads you to change your DCs schooling, it isn’t seriously impacting on your life. It also sounds like you have sought help before but it hasn’t been effective? Maybe repost on the MH boards for help with accessing better resources for anxiety.

PinkAvocado HE schoolers may not have to follow THE curriculum, but they still need to follow A curriculum. Constructing one, to reflect a child’s individual needs and interests is not an easy task and takes a long time. It takes me a few months to structure a new course in a discipline I am an expert in. As for teaching methods they are equally important. Identifying a child’s needs and interests is not sufficient for teaching them. You also need to figure out how to teach through trainings, trial and error, practice, etc.

Bambamber · 23/12/2018 23:54

Perhaps instead of pulling the kids out of school, you should look into ways of improving your coping skills and managing your stress levels

HighsandLows77 · 23/12/2018 23:54

Do you work OP? could the children’s dad help with the school run at all?

YoungLennyGodber · 23/12/2018 23:54

You’ve used I six times in that post OP.

Original poster
fernTaylo · 23/12/2018 23:55

Maybe I should phone the council when they are reopens after Xmas and speak to an advisor for primary age home education if there is one ? Just to see what they actually expect to be provided
I just feel like it’s the only other option

OP posts:
Itsear · 23/12/2018 23:56

What about their father can he take them to school or pay for a taxi, he is equally responsible? If not I think you should still stick with the school, it is only for a couple of years. Once the DC are in yrs 5/6 they should be ok getting a bus themselves.

YoungLennyGodber · 23/12/2018 23:56

Rather than getting your act together and getting the kids to school, you mean?

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