To ask what you think when you hear a child is home educated

[turquoiseamethyst]

I suppose I am trying to gauge a range of opinions.

I am seriously - possibly definitely (definitely maybe?) going to be home schooling my 8 year old for a period of time.

I don't know why I'm worried; perhaps because it's so beyond the norm of what we have experienced before. I don't know anyone who home educates; I wasn't educated at home myself and I think I have known rather a lot of people who are very much of the view that school is all important. I've never particularly subscribed to that view but I've always wanted my children to have a 'normal' upbringing and going to school seems very much a part of that?

Does anyone have any views? As I'm going to possibly be de registering him tomorrow?

Can you sign off sick for a while until Easter? That gives you time to seek help from the school (including perhaps asking the school for work for him for at home), professional help and also get organised and really research Home education. And talk it over with your DS, make it clear what would happen during HE - the support you could give, how you would tackle socialising and making it clear he will be getting up and learning, not just staying at home with mum, you would be teacher on top of mum.

Regarding my thoughts and HE, I would hate to be a teacher so HE holds no thrills or like for me at all, even for my own children- possibly even especially my own kids because if other kids annoy you at least you don't feel guilty ranting about them to yourself when they are PITAs.

I know someone who is home schooled, very nice people, but didn't seem realistic. Little girl also went to ballet classes with my daughter. When there was a show and the girls were going to wear makeup, the mother took the girl out of the classes saying she was too young, aged 7 to wear a bit of lipstick. Seemed very young for her age, but as I said a lovely family from what I could see.

oK- but I think you would be making a mistake. What sort of referrals are you worried about?

Remember that once you deregister you can't assume you can go back to the same school.

Home education scares me but having a child emotional,y damaged by being forced into the wrong environment scares me more

This was exactly my dilemma with DS. In the end we looked at what he was actually getting out of school, and sadly the answer was nothing. If he had been progressing academically but struggling socially, or vice versa, we could have continued to send him to school for the benefits and filled in gaps at home. But when it got to the point where he couldn't cope with the playground and at parents evening his workbooks were nearly empty, we asked ourselves why were we continuing to subject our 6 year old to this?

I wish my son had no additional needs and I could wave him off every day happy that he would be playing football with his friends, thriving in a classroom environment. But unfortunately that isn't going to happen with DS, so we have made the best decision we can for him. OP as long as you also make the best decision you can for your son, who cares what anyone else thinks.

Heh, I tend to think either conservative religious or upper middle class downshifters who will also clothe their kids in appalling secondhand woolly jumpers and cut their hair using the kitchen scissors
Thats all just prejudice though and I think it depends on the reasons for doing it. I think youre doing this for all the right reasons, and as someone who was sometimes frightened to go to school (because of bullying) I think what youre doing for your son is a nice thing and will help him to have a breather from his problems and it will also teach him that you have options, when you dont like something, that you dont need to go on turning up and being miserable the whole time, which is the message I strongly picked up from being forced to go to school all through the bullying. Thing is, he needs to face his fear at some point, but you know that, youre not talking about taking him out forever, just giving him breathing space.
I do wonder if there might be an option to get him signed off school by CAMHS for now, rather than leaving altogether? That would probably take time to put in place though and not sure what you would do in the meantime.

Home schooling is having a massive rise (in papers recently). Aside from your sons problems ppl are turning to it cos the current system Sucks. I personally think they push infants far too much, cramming them with info and far too little play and creativity.
It's interesting that ppl associate it with religioreligion. I'm really keen on home schooling mine but I'm a Christian and don't want to be accused of indoctrination and also want them to know other ppl have different views.
There are over 100 families homeschooling where I am. They have many meet ups and its quote a community so I don't think kids miss out socially.
I met one mum recently whi said take each term at a time. Just try it. You may love it he may love it. Or you decide to go back into school later. Nothing is forever and you should do what works for you now.
There are 2 ways of doing it, following a curriculum similar To school or completely child led. I'd suggest if unsure follow curriculum so that he could return at a later date without prproblems.
Good luck ??

Honestly? "How the hell do you afford to stay off work, pay the bills, and also afford Enriching Activities for your home-schooled kid?"

I would think it was none of my business.

Out of interest, do people feel sorry for children who attend school and are unhappy for whatever reason?

Yes, I do. I used to thnk that children in general didn't like school, that it was a "fact of life" or whatever you want to call it. But it does not have to be like that. Children can love school, and if they don't, then something's wrong. It can be either the family, the school or the child (SNs?), but one of this factors is not right. HE can help solve that. CHildren naturally enjoy learning, so when they don't, taking them out of that particular school and giving them time to be themselves is a good way to go back on track. There may be a better-suited school, or maybe HE is perfect for that family. Everybody is different. But I would not feel sorry for a HEd child if the child is learning happily.

I would think the parents are bloody amazing! I can't wait for my LO to start nursery and school, so I can get some peace

I do not know, to be honest it seems a bit precious.
There is a kid near us who is home ed, for his thirteenth bday he went to play ping pong with his mum, who 'wanted him to do something a bit more grown up'.

Thy focus shouldn't be on home schooling it should be on getting your son some help

Well, as totally judgemental as this is, if I hear someone is home schooling I think of:

"Green party voters who have an eco view on the world. Possibly got married in a 'hand tieing' ceremony overseen by a white witch. Those who eat a vegan or vegetarian lifestyle and watch very little TV. They would never give their children iPads or phones and would never dream of shouting at their children.

They say they don't care what people think of them but actually their view of themselves is that they are slightly hippy and left of central. They like people to see them that way; therefore, they do care what others think of them.

They grow their son's hair long and say they don't care if their son wears dresses and plays with dolls as long as they are happy and 'exploring their sexuality'."

Does that answer your question?!

I would think that in the absence of overwhelmingly difficult health issues, HE indicates some sort of weirdness on the part of the parents. I also think that sneering about the degree qualifications of teachers rather misses the point of the pedagogical training that they undergo.

In your case, OP, having seen some of your threads over the past while, I think that you and your children are clearly undergoing some emotional upheaval with the breakdown of your marriage, and this is absolutely the wrong reason to opt for HE. I understand that you want to 'fix' things for your DS, but I don't think this is the way to go about it.

Didn't you and your ExDH separate only a couple of weeks ago? Your DS is clearly struggling with that upheaval and venting it at school. It doesn't mean that school is wrong for him full stop.

BTW - that was slightly tongue in cheek and having fun (Mon morning blues), but I do feel that slightly too.

Sorry!

I think it's great if it's in the best interests of the child

not so much if it's masking an LEA's responsibility towards a child with SEND or motivated by the parents needs

Home Ed can be great - and it can be not so great - like education in general!

Christy - by that logic you think the same of private schools, grammar schools, church schools, single sex schools, schools with a selective intake of any description, schools with a catchment area that isn't diverse?

Yes, fair enough, particularly with private schools and single sex schools (I went to an all girls secondary and I certainly won't be sending my kids to single sex schools!), and that is why I said 'most schools'. Church schools, not so much, because actually in most church schools these days, religion is only a tiny part of what ties people together. And even in my own 'naice leafy outstanding' school, there is actually a huge range of experiences, backgrounds, views, and even socio economic differences, amongst the children and their parents, that I'm not sure you would get in a HE social setting.

Also, and now I making some big assumptions, I imagine that there is less just 'leaving the kids to have to rub along on their own and sort out their own friendship disputes' if the parents are there all the time.

As a teacher, I totally agree with the poster who said that HE is much quicker just because you don't have to keep quietening down 30 kids, going between lessons, getting 350 kids to file in and out of assembly, spend 10 mins waiting for all the kids to find their pencil and actually start writing!

If I heard anyone was removing their child to home educate my response would be to ask if I can help in anyway.

But I've home educated for 8 years. Did it from the start and yes I do it because I believe I can do a better job.

I am not anti teachers in general, I've seen good and bad as you get in any profession. I spent two years training as one before I quit as the system was so flawed and I saw too many children being failed by the system. I worked in several schools I wouldn't let look after a goldfish never mind my child. Much of my training was about classroom management, differentiating for different needs rather than how to teach, things irrelevant at home. Now in our 30's all my friends who I think are the good teachers are desperately trying to quit in despair. Fed up at being at not being trusted to get on with their jobs and the constant government interference and changes.

The stereotypes of people educating for religious reasons and feral children unfortunately do exist. Home educators are a varied bunch and it is very frustrating to be judged by the stereotypes.

I have happy, healthy children, with good strong friendship groups that they see most days, they at least keep pace academically and I can target the support I give individually. We attend group classes for some subjects so they get that more 'school like' approach. We do a lot of field trips and have more time for extended family. I've had one chose to go in to school at secondary level - he enjoys drama and team sports without being good enough at either to enjoy them competitively at clubs, lower sets at school is about right. He's not struggled at all socially or academically, knew a good number of the children from outside school anyway, top set for most things with academic edge. For us home ed works very well.

It doesn't for everyone, all the time though. It can be hard finding your feet when you take a child out. You are dealing in general with quite a traumatised child, there will be a recovery period. Go and meet local home educators, they will help and support and answer questions. In the last 10 years the number of families home educating has grown massively.

I would wonder why. I would also be curious about how, as I know some people school at home (that's what I'd do, though more flexibly) and some unschool, which I strongly suspect can go very wrong for some, though work brilliantly if parent and child are both the right personality types...

Of course it's nobody else's business, but you asked, and the truth is most people are mildly curious about different lifestyle choices.

As an ex teacher I think homeschooling can be right for some children and wrong for most... But it depends on so very many factors.

If it's done based on the needs of the individual child it's probably a good thing - but parents who do it in order to have ccomplete control over their child's environment and avoid them encountering other world views are not doing it for the child but for themselves. I know this is not whatyou are doing OP!

There is certainly no point forcing a young child to go somewhere they are miserable, not benefiting socially and learning nothing though!

i think WEIRDO.

I would think it was a brave and proactive step.

Best not to worry what other people think, and do what you know is best. Once cahms gets involved you wont be able to have the choice to homeschool, and all the decisions will be taken away from you. Ild say go for it, and watch him thrive.

Honestly I would think that the child has issues around socialising but that is because the only child I know that was home ed for a year was a spoilt and rude brat and her mother couldn't fathom why she didn't have friends so instead of teaching her not to be so rude she home ed her for a year before secondary. I would also think you've got money as the only way this woman could justify it was that it would cost the same as her private school fees.

"Once cahms gets involved you wont be able to have the choice to homeschool, and all the decisions will be taken away from you" on what do you base this statement?

And no I don't feel sorry for children who go to school as I see lots thrive at school. On this forum you're going to get more home educators but in general I think people would think you're a bit airy fairy. But it's about what is best for you child.