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Home ed

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Original poster

To ask what you think when you hear a child is home educated

684 replies

turquoiseamethyst · 15/03/2015 23:19

I suppose I am trying to gauge a range of opinions.

I am seriously - possibly definitely (definitely maybe?) going to be home schooling my 8 year old for a period of time.

I don't know why I'm worried; perhaps because it's so beyond the norm of what we have experienced before. I don't know anyone who home educates; I wasn't educated at home myself and I think I have known rather a lot of people who are very much of the view that school is all important. I've never particularly subscribed to that view but I've always wanted my children to have a 'normal' upbringing and going to school seems very much a part of that?

Does anyone have any views? As I'm going to possibly be de registering him tomorrow?

OP posts:
ThumbWitchesAbroad · 18/03/2015 10:38

Oh actually, you know what, I'm sorry I retracted "vitriol" as I've just remembered some of JemimaPuddlefuck's posts - they were definitely vitriolic and then some!

Original poster
turquoiseamethyst · 18/03/2015 10:58

To be fair I think Jemima was slightly deranged.

When I was saying 'fine I will send DS back next week' I was thinking I'd have to get dH back. I can't, though.

OP posts:
educatingarti · 18/03/2015 11:12

No you can't get DH back! I have pmed you!

Puzzledandpissedoff · 18/03/2015 11:14

If you choose to de-register your son you don't need to start 'school work', this week, next week or the week after that

That's perfectly true, though I think you'll find the EWOs will expect to see some kind of structure put in place pretty soon if parents choose to HE

I guess my own worry was that many 8 year olds might struggle with seeing the bigger picture, and just see it as "staying at home to play with mum". Couldn't that end up creating even more problems for a future return to school?

lavendersun · 18/03/2015 11:38

I worked for us and is fairly common ime in children who are taken out of school.

Our EA and the other one I know of don't expect to visit until a term has passed, they expect that it will take you x amount of time to formulate a plan.

Some children are educated autonomously which is completely acceptable too. It is more than reasonable to take some time off.

Catsrus · 18/03/2015 11:50

EWO's can expect all they like puzzled the OP doesn't have to have any structure in place. The law is quite clear on that. Anyway, her trump card is that she is a trained teacher. Once she has got ds settled, she can do some more exploration of the options available to her in terms of her approach to HE. The main benefit for her is that her approach can be tailored to suit the learning of just one child, not a mixed ability class of 30.

Good luck Tourquise - your local HE community will be a valuable source of support and information. I have no regrets about the HE I did with mine, in some ways I regret it didn't go on for longer, but it did become clear that once we had sorted out the issues caused by the school that my dc were ready and keen to go back into the system, to a different school.

ThumbWitchesAbroad · 18/03/2015 11:54

No you definitely can't bring your H back (and I know you still care for him but I do suggest, for your ongoing health, that you drop the "D" - he doesn't in the slightest bit deserve it!) - that would be heavily counterproductive long term, whatever it achieved short term.

Keep going with your plan. It's only "for now".

NickiFury · 18/03/2015 12:08

I'm pretty sure it stops being the remit of EWO anyway doesn't it. Where we are, we are allocated a contact at the local authority but it's not EW, because there isn't a welfare issue. I need to find my paperwork to find out what her title is.

Iamatotalandutteridiot · 18/03/2015 12:12

OK, I can (and do!) home ed my child.

I deregged in October 2012 and didn't do a sodding thing until January 2013. I mean nothing. We walked, we played (mostly IPADS). We still have a very unschooled regime.

I have - from the day I deregged to the present day - had 2 30 minute visits from the LEA.

You are kidding yourselves if you think the school are going to be banging on your door.

We do what we want. When we want. No questions.

(I'll admit to being surprised about that, but we truly don't hear from anyone from one year to the next!)

lavendersun · 18/03/2015 12:16

They (not sure of title) didn't come to see us for 12 months, I didn't refuse their visit - they were just happy with what I wrote back I suppose. It was only when they employed an extra person to deal with the rising numbers of HE children in my county that they contacted me again.

NickiFury · 18/03/2015 12:21

Same here, an annual visit. Ds has a statement though and that is reviewed annually, so twice a year we have to have contact with the LA

I usually write a diary of an average week and attach a copy of our calendar for that month, which is bursting at the seams with the amount of stuff on it. She has a brief chat with ds (if he feels up to it - ASD) and asks me what we hope to achieve over the next 12 months. She never asks to see his work as she knows that makes him anxious.

Iamatotalandutteridiot · 18/03/2015 12:25

I am not complaining and I have to admit, I still keep a workbook of his work, just in case - just progress and next steps... Though to be honest, I now just keep it as a nice reminder of the progress we've made. Like Nickifury, DS has ASD and wouldn't want things moved (we don't have a statement though)

I don't think for a second that DS would be a happy sociable little boy if he remained (unsupported - he didn't get a statement) at MS school.

He'd have either been depressed or been an aggressor.

streakybacon · 18/03/2015 12:41

In some LAs, the Elective Home Education team does come under EWO, but it's true that you don't have to do HE in any particular way that the LA (or anyone else, for that matter) might recommend. You can HE whichever way you want - all the LA wants to know is that the child is receiving an education.

Additionally, you don't have to accept a visit from the LA but it's advisable to have some contact, though that can be in report form if you prefer. I have done this for the last four years, after I realised that my LA actually knew bugger all about HE and it wasn't worth wasting my time accepting them into my home. I just get on with it in my own way, and send them a few pages of details once a year, which they respond to with a brief summary and a "Yes, that's fine" and we go merrily on our way.

OP, if you haven't already read it, you might find the 2007 HE Guidelines for LAs useful here.

Milllli · 18/03/2015 13:03

I loved the book " Free Range Education* when I first started out. Gave me an informative insight into the world of HE.Smile

morethanpotatoprints · 18/03/2015 15:32

Yes, it is true that an EWO has no jurisdiction when it comes to H.ed. They work on behalf of the system not those who have deregistered.
We too have never had a visit as we thought they had nothing to offer us.

Baddz · 18/03/2015 16:28

The chap who came out to see us was lovely :)
Really gave my confidence a boost - told us Ds was doing well.
As it turned out ds1 was back in ms by the time his next visits was due, but I would quite liked to have seen him again!

Baddz · 18/03/2015 16:28

I loved free range education too! :)

ommmward · 18/03/2015 16:37

Interesting thread. We home educate. We spend 3 days a week every week learning and playing with a bunch of other families, anything between 2 families and about 11 families at a time, and the children get to know each other really really well. They develop those long term tribal friendships that people point to as a school bonus.

We are usually learning/playing with just one family at a time for another two days a week, or three, and then the last day we collapse in a heap and have a weekend like everyone else.

We function as an informal co-op, with different parents bringing different interests and skills to the table.

These children are learning the social skills they need to navigate the world, without being in the playground jungle of the children of the kinds of judgemental people who have commented on this thread. One of the greatest boons about being home educated is that my children don't have to spend their entire childhoods forced to encounter the kinds of children who constantly sneer at and exclude them for being different. And yes, they are "weird," and I'd rather they grow in self confidence and resilience and become bully proof before exposing them to the kinds of people who leap to judge other people as "weird" (the genuinely accurate term, very often, is "a person on the autistic spectrum") suggested reading and suggested reading 2 might help you to take your judgy pants off.

Milllli · 18/03/2015 16:56

Baddz it is a lovely book isn't it. Really positive. My two are adults now but they have fond memories of their Home Education years.

ommmward · 18/03/2015 17:05

Should have RallTFT before commenting. Hang in there, turquoise. Follow your mama instincts. If you feel he needs some quiet secure time at home with you, while you get yourselves set up in a new place ready for the Autumn, and through the transition into a new sibling, then you follow that feeling, lady.

the fact that you are able to think about how to help your son alleviate his distress while you are also pregnant and going through a difficult break up is testimony to what an amazing person you are

Baddz · 18/03/2015 17:06

I feel very confident that if things go wrong with ds2 (we have had a bad couple of years family bereavement wise and he found last year very hard :() I can home school him.
As an aside...both my dc see a respitory paediatrician as they are asthmatic - when I told him (a father of 4) that I was home schooling ds1 he said;
"Well, he will learn a lot more from you than he ever will in school" :)

Original poster
turquoiseamethyst · 18/03/2015 17:10

Thanks so much.

I suppose I just don't genuinely understand the 'he needs to be in school' mindset - but hey ho!

OP posts:
Milllli · 18/03/2015 17:13

Totally agree on the comment that he will learn more from you than he will in school. My daughter read book after book and learnt so much on her own. She is finishing her degree now and will be doing her Masters next year. She loves learning.

Baddz · 18/03/2015 17:15

Sometimes I still wish ds1 was home schooled :)
But he is happy ATM.
Tbh ds2 would be much easier than ds1 as he isn't dyslexic!

Hakluyt · 18/03/2015 17:31

I have very fond memories of "the council lady" coming to visit. I was always so excited to have someone news to show off demonstrate my abilities to that she used to stagger away exhausted after being forced to read things I had written, listen to me performing, eat cakes I had made, gallop round my garden and admire my plants........I reckon they used to draw lots to visit our house and the short straw got the job.

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