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Home ed

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Original poster

To ask what you think when you hear a child is home educated

684 replies

turquoiseamethyst · 15/03/2015 23:19

I suppose I am trying to gauge a range of opinions.

I am seriously - possibly definitely (definitely maybe?) going to be home schooling my 8 year old for a period of time.

I don't know why I'm worried; perhaps because it's so beyond the norm of what we have experienced before. I don't know anyone who home educates; I wasn't educated at home myself and I think I have known rather a lot of people who are very much of the view that school is all important. I've never particularly subscribed to that view but I've always wanted my children to have a 'normal' upbringing and going to school seems very much a part of that?

Does anyone have any views? As I'm going to possibly be de registering him tomorrow?

OP posts:
BabyGanoush · 16/03/2015 08:06

I think you have to not care what others think ofyou, but be confident in your decision to do this.

What I think on meeting/seeing HE? I imagine them to be a bit "evangelical" about it with strong anti-school views.

I also imagine them to be well off to be able to afford it.

Baddz · 16/03/2015 08:07

I home schooled my ds1 for a year.
I found people to be genuinely interested and enquiring....a lot of people told me they didn't even know you could do it! :)
As others have said, it can be great, our experience was very positive but I knew it was probably short term.
Not sure I could do it long term, and the exam issue would concern me.
You are much better off living in or near a big town ad there is more likely to be lots of he groups you can join.
Ds1 did;
Swimming, beavers, karate x 2 and wildlife group each week. He also went to my pils twice a week too and they went on outings, walks, etc
We also met up with a few home ed people and their kids. They were all lovely.
Ds1 had the opportunity to do forest school, a day at a RAF camp, met an astronaut, did a forensic investigation day....
It takes effort.
And it can be £££
But for us it was worth it.

CactusAnnie · 16/03/2015 08:07

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

RufusTheReindeer · 16/03/2015 08:08

I always fancies doing home ed...then I had three children and couldn't imagine managing with them all

I did always say that any problems at school and I would home educate that child though Grin

I did have an interesting chat with a teacher who was absolutley convinced that the only person capable to educating a child was a fully trained teacher...

Hope it goes well Thanks

Hakluyt · 16/03/2015 08:09

Turquoise- did you see my suggestion of giving yourself more time? I really, really wouldn't de register today. You need to think and plan- and also to see how your ds is after a bit of R and R. It's never a good idea to make decisions in a rush if you don't have to.

Christinayang1 · 16/03/2015 08:11

I can totally understand why you would want to remove him from a stressful situation, however, does removing him from a ' normal' routine not make the problem seem even bigger?

Could he attend school on a part time basis, even initially if it was just for the subjects he is interested in....he is still going to have to produce work at home

I hope everything works out for you, there is nothing more painful than feeling your child is struggling

MidnightDinosaur · 16/03/2015 08:13

I'd think great and chat to you about it.

I home educate my dc and we actually haven't had any negative comments at all.

We have lots of "oh lucky boys" or "your mum must be very patient"

We are involved in a large home ed community and the boys have loads of friends and activities they attend. I think it definitely reassures people when the dc start reeling off a list of things they do, not that I'm bothered about them being reassured.

We're not religious at all, my dc have never been to school so no issues there. We just felt that school shouldn't be the automatic option and when we looked at the pros and cons of both, we decided HE was a better fit for our family.

I think, if it is what your ds needs now, then do it. There is nothing stopping him from going back to school if you find out HE isn't working out. School shouldn't be an automatic option, there are other options and we shouldn't be made to feel odd/strange/weird for choosing something out of the "norm" especially when you feel that this is the best thing for your DS.

CactusAnnie · 16/03/2015 08:13

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

zazzie · 16/03/2015 08:14

All the children that I know who are home educated have sn and had no suitable school available.

Original poster
turquoiseamethyst · 16/03/2015 08:14

Hak - I did and thank you, but if I push for more time I am fairly certain there will be referrals put into place.

I doubt anything would come of these referrals but obviously it isn't a route I wish to go down. Given the community here, short of locking DS up for 2/3 weeks I can't lie (nor would I want to, strictly speaking) and so I just have to honestly say 'he is refusing to come in.' The underlying response, unspoken, is 'your 8 year old is parenting you! Get him in!'

It isn't that simple.

OP posts:
Christinayang1 · 16/03/2015 08:15

What does his therapist think?

Original poster
turquoiseamethyst · 16/03/2015 08:18

We haven't got one yet Christina; this all only happened in the last week. In any case, and with the greatest of respect to both teachers and those who are professional MH workers, this is DS's choixe; I'm listening to my son.

OP posts:
FlabbyMummy · 16/03/2015 08:19

How about asking adults who were home schooled what they feel about it, their experiences? rather than worrying about people's perception of you?

Christinayang1 · 16/03/2015 08:20

What had the school said? Have they notice any problems, have they made any suggestions?

Original poster
turquoiseamethyst · 16/03/2015 08:21

Well yes and I assume some will be on here and will be contributing :)

I don't know anyone home educated in 'real life'.

OP posts:
Original poster
turquoiseamethyst · 16/03/2015 08:21

No christina. Just to bring him in.

OP posts:
BigRedBall · 16/03/2015 08:22

You posted about your son last week didn't you? Saying he wouldn't get out of bed to go to school because of your marriage breakdown. Everyone told you to get him help. And now you've decided to home school him? This isn't a decision you make in 5 mins. Hes 8 years old, he doesn't get to make decisions.

I may sound a bit harsh now, but stop mollycoddling him.

Don't start homeschooling just because your child won't get out of bed to go to school. Ridiculous reason.

Original poster
turquoiseamethyst · 16/03/2015 08:23

No, it really isn't ridiculous - it's a shame you think it is. It's a temporary solution to a temporary problem.

Home schooling him for a time and getting him help can be synonymous, you know Wink as I said earlier in the thread, forcibly dragging him to school then expecting him to open up to a therapist is daft!

OP posts:
GratefulHead · 16/03/2015 08:24

This is an interesting thread so thank you for starting it. I passionately do not want to home educate but unfortunately I feel that I may be in the position of having to do so. DS is in Y7 and struggling, he is autistic and in mainstream which has been recommended by the LA. Unfortunately my experience of communication and his experience of school is very underwhelming. I am on the point of de-registering him as he is deemed "too academic for special school " it seems what he needs is not out there, or at least not in this area.

I worry about this as I feel DS gets important benefits from school but currently these are being outweighed by the negatives. I'd rather home educate for five years than see my son being hammered like a square peg into a round hole and coming out with his emotional health shot to pieces.

How would I afford it? I am a lone parent with just DS and am on benefits, I get Carers Allowance as well so quite honestly the tax payer would fund me.

Am hoping it won't come to that though.

All the home educated children I have met have been great as have their parents. Home education scares me but having a child emotional,y damaged by being forced into the wrong environment scares me more,

Christinayang1 · 16/03/2015 08:24

Ca you keep him off until Easter, get some work home from school, get him to attend a couple of things at school, say an hour at a time and get am apt with a professional?

I would leave any major decisions until he has spoken to someone

I appreciate you are listening to your son but he is 8 and very confused, the priority should be getting him help to get to the root of the problem. This isn't the to make huge decisions but to work with him...it's hard, I know

PegLegAntoine · 16/03/2015 08:28

I am grateful that my children learn things that I don't know.

I agree that's important but it can happen in home ed - if the child is interested in something, the parent doesn't need to know about it, but they facilitate the child learning about it. Often they learn alongside one another.

For example my DD wants to learn Japanese (we love anime) - we will be learning it together :)

base9 · 16/03/2015 08:28

If I hear a child in home ed, I wonder about their story. Because I have met a wide variety, from SEN that is better catered for at home, to superbright kids who were not stretched at school but fly at home, to bullied children who are healing, to over controllong parents who cannot relinquish their command for the length of a school day. And many others. So I don't think there is a type and I would no more know what to think about an HE family or child than I would about one at school. Does not tell you a lot in itself.

BrendaBlackhead · 16/03/2015 08:29

I must say I quite fancied it. Reasons being I think I'm reasonably knowledgeable, dd didn't like school much, and, yes, it would have been nice to keep dd home with me and wander off on magical day trips, exploring uncrowded museums yada yada.

But... I thought HEing would turn a very shy child shyer. I think I would have spent oodles of time on History and English but other subjects... not so much. And, above all, you have to have a willing child. Obviously if you're not bothered about exam results etc then it doesn't matter if they do their own thing, but if you want them to re-enter education at some point then you have to know what you are doing and make your child toe the line. Those HE ers who say that the child follows their own interests.... hmmmmm.

My niece works in museum education. She was saying recently that her heart sinks when they have a HE group in. She says the children are often very rude and ill-disciplined. I asked if perhaps schoolchildren were cowed, but she said it wasn't sparkiness they had, but plain bad manners.

saintlyjimjams · 16/03/2015 08:30

To answer OP
I'm very interested & like to hear more. But I know quite a few home edders & would do it myself If the right decision for one of my kids.

thatsucks · 16/03/2015 08:31

One thing that always strikes me on these threads and in RL when home educators list what their kids do in a week for education - I do (well did, my three are teens) all that with mine AND they went to school!

Beavers/scouts
Sports
Museums
Theatre
Rambles
Wildlife stuff
Zoos/farms
Reading
Writing
Crafting
Board games
Quizes
Educational games
Homework (ie 'actual' maths, English, science)

Did ALL of those things evenings and weekends.

Not trying to be antagonistic, just find it a bit confusing.