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See all MNHQ comments on this thread

Original poster

To ask what you think when you hear a child is home educated

684 replies

turquoiseamethyst · 15/03/2015 23:19

I suppose I am trying to gauge a range of opinions.

I am seriously - possibly definitely (definitely maybe?) going to be home schooling my 8 year old for a period of time.

I don't know why I'm worried; perhaps because it's so beyond the norm of what we have experienced before. I don't know anyone who home educates; I wasn't educated at home myself and I think I have known rather a lot of people who are very much of the view that school is all important. I've never particularly subscribed to that view but I've always wanted my children to have a 'normal' upbringing and going to school seems very much a part of that?

Does anyone have any views? As I'm going to possibly be de registering him tomorrow?

OP posts:
teacherwith2kids · 17/03/2015 21:41

Sorry, Farenuff and OP, I did read very substantial chunks of the thread buit not that part. Sounds a good plan BUT wth the current squeeze on school places, it would be as well to check up on the likelihood of getting a school place. Easier when I was doing it - places in 4 different schools as a mid year mover. There wouldn't be any places whatever if we were doing the same today.

CrystalCove · 17/03/2015 21:42

I can't cope; I can't do it - end of

Are you ok turquoise?

Fairenuff · 17/03/2015 21:43

It's not pecking OP, it's talking over some issues that you may not have considered. Better to do that before you remove him. You have now said that he will go back next week so at least that gives you some breathing space to look into things in a bit more detail.

teacherwith2kids · 17/03/2015 21:44

Apologies. You are a parent, with a child - a hurt and scared child - to educate. IME, and it was a very painful experience, such children need particularly robust plans made for them in order to be enabled to thrive again.

SallyMcgally · 17/03/2015 21:45

Thanks things seem to be really tough right now xx

Original poster
turquoiseamethyst · 17/03/2015 21:49

Of course I am not ok. I can't do anything. Leave it please - please

OP posts:
CrystalCove · 17/03/2015 22:02

I only asked, fair enough Confused

MNHQ
TheOnlyOliviaMumsnet · 17/03/2015 22:37

Just a reminder that even if an OP is asking whether they are BU or NBU:
that Mumsnet's here to make lives easier and if there's one thing we could do with, it's some moral support.
Thanks

derxa · 17/03/2015 22:41

turquoise I have read the first half of this thread and just looked at the end. You need support for yourself and for your children. Things are tough but you will get through it. I don't know anything about HE so I am not even going to comment on it. I wish you well.
Dx

ilovesooty · 17/03/2015 22:42

Thanks Olivia. The OP didn't even ask if she was BU as I said earlier. She asked what people's perception of HE was and it's turned into people picking her decision or potential decision apart.

SuburbanRhonda · 17/03/2015 22:47

True, sooty, but I think the thread grew organically from people answering the initial OP, then debating why someone might choose to HE, then looking at alternatives for the OP around trying to get her DS back into school.

Maybe we all lost sight of the fact that the OP doesn't want to send her DS back to school.

Original poster
turquoiseamethyst · 17/03/2015 22:55

No they didn't surburban but seriously I would greatly appreciate it if you could stop. I do want to send DS to school - if he wanted to go and he does not or feels he can't; I know exactly how he feels and people lecturing you just feels overbearing and makes me despair.

Not one person has yet to tell me how to get him into school so I shall tell you how. I can get dH to appear. That would make DS move promptly and in to school he would go. Problem solved.

No? But DS has Continuity. His Anxiety wouldn't be exacerbated then, would it?

I guess that's best.

OP posts:
MNHQ
TheOnlyOliviaMumsnet · 17/03/2015 23:11

OP do let us know if you'd like us to move this thread out of AIBU into home ed perhaps?
Kindest to you

ilovesooty · 17/03/2015 23:13

turquoise it's not best and you know in your heart it isn't. X

Original poster
turquoiseamethyst · 17/03/2015 23:15

Olivia, yes, please, could you? Thank you.

I am rubbish. I can't do right for wrong! Everything I can do, every possible option, causes irreparable harm - how can I live with that? Only I have to don't i?

OP posts:
cestlavielife · 17/03/2015 23:20

Is your ds having contact with his dad ?
It isn't clear if dad is still seeing dc ?

If there is regular contact things shld settle down you certainly not have to have him back . But you can still access some counselling or therapy for ds.

If dad has gone for good or til unknown time then get some therapy for ds to deal with this .

Have school visit him at home a teacher he likes without pressure. See gp. Get referred to get support.

There isn't going to be a quick fix. It will take time. You all need rl support.

derxa · 17/03/2015 23:20

turquoise I feel for you I really do. Who is supporting you in RL?

Original poster
turquoiseamethyst · 17/03/2015 23:23

I don't have anyone; they're all dead. Everyone I love and who could love me. So I am sorry for not being the woman I should be but I cant.

OP posts:
cestlavielife · 17/03/2015 23:23

You are clearly not rubbish you have made a decision for the best.
Leaving an abusive relationship is better course of action long term.
You are looking at ways to support ds and continue his education. That's positive. But get dome rl support from trained professionals too.

cestlavielife · 17/03/2015 23:23

There is support. Start with your gp.

Original poster
turquoiseamethyst · 17/03/2015 23:25

You don't understand and that's not a criticism as I don't expect you to.

My gp is not a source of support.

I am not very good at pregnancy.

OP posts:
BigRedBall · 17/03/2015 23:35

It's clear you're going through a really shit time OP, but children sense our anxiety and play up according to it. How are you around your dc? Could you plan some fun days out together if you're not sending him to school? I think you need to sort yourself out and be happy first before you start focussing on your DS. He won't get better until you show him how to be better. I really would contact your GP.

Original poster
turquoiseamethyst · 17/03/2015 23:35

then he won't get better.

OP posts:
cestlavielife · 17/03/2015 23:35

You are right I can't understand as I don't know you.... Try Your midwife then . Or health visitor. Local church...a teacher. A neighbour. . Someone near you in your locality in rl . No one has to be totally alone.

You can also call Samaritans they will listen any time talking things out loud might help. You font have to be suicidal to call them .

BigRedBall · 17/03/2015 23:39

Stop this defeatist attitude. You deserve to be happy and well as much as the next person. So does your dc. Your well being may not be important to me or any other stranger on the street, but it's important to your dc for definite. He needs you to be strong.