turquoiseamethyst - this thread has moved on and changed considerably since I first answered your OP.
I'm a bit shocked at the level of vitriol that some posters have chosen to shower you with, and the apparent inability to note that you only intend this as a temporary measure.
I have read all your posts and many of those in between - and I think that you're doing the right thing.
I totally agree that it would be counterproductive at this time to force your DS into school.
I agree with you that he would shut down completely and internalise everything on the grounds that there's no point talking as nobody listens anyway.
I gather from your posts that your DS is not usually an anxiety-laden child, but has become so due to family circumstances - another (hopefully!) short-term situation if handled appropriately.
What I would say to you, and I do feel it is important but then I get the feeling you do too, is that your DS needs outside help, play therapy, child counsellor, whatever. He needs this to help him deal with whatever internal mechanism has set up this situation. If you're keeping him at home, then you will be far more flexible in timings for this, so with luck should be able to find a therapist fairly quickly, although chances are it will be a private one and I suppose in your situation that funds will be tight. :(
However, this needs to be a priority. I can see the point that "giving in" to his outward manifestations of anxiety could set a precedent whereby he learns to "run away" rather than deal with the problem, hence the need for the therapy during the sabbatical from school.
I haven't looked for your other threads but I'm getting the impression that your H was a controlling manipulative EA type. I'm wondering if he's also either the GP, or related to the GP, since you're adamant you'll get no support there (DON'T answer that, of course!)
I wonder if one reason your DS isn't keen to go to school is because of the intrusive questions he might be facing - in a small rural community of course everyone knows everyone else's business, far more than most people would like - and it's likely that at least some children know some of what's happening in his life. It might not even be at bullying level - but sometimes even being asked about how things are can be too much to bear.
I hope that MNHQ move your post out of AIBU into a more appropriate area and that people stop having a go at you when you are obviously in a very difficult and vulnerable situation just now.
for you and your DC - it will get better in time but make sure that you get the appropriate help