To ask what you think when you hear a child is home educated

[turquoiseamethyst]

I suppose I am trying to gauge a range of opinions.

I am seriously - possibly definitely (definitely maybe?) going to be home schooling my 8 year old for a period of time.

I don't know why I'm worried; perhaps because it's so beyond the norm of what we have experienced before. I don't know anyone who home educates; I wasn't educated at home myself and I think I have known rather a lot of people who are very much of the view that school is all important. I've never particularly subscribed to that view but I've always wanted my children to have a 'normal' upbringing and going to school seems very much a part of that?

Does anyone have any views? As I'm going to possibly be de registering him tomorrow?

Christina - apologies if my post read as aggressive, not my intention at all. More incredulous.

I care not one jot how many years you have practised. If your advice is totally contra to latest medical research, then I will point that out.

The approach we use is the approach of evidence based practice, irrespective of which psychotherapeutic school of thought it falls into. The one the NMC recommends.

I have no need to "check my facts". You advised that being at home with mum is the best thing going forwards. I am merely pointing out that the evidence does not support your assertion, nor does my clinical experience.

Anyway, enough of de-railing.

Streaky - I know access in completely inadequate. But the fact that a referral has been placed surely proves my point that parenting alone is not always the answer?

I think if your child is happy at school and making progress, then school is the best option.
However, not every child is happy and they don't all make progress and then as a parent you have to do what is best. If your child needs some time at home, or a different pace of learning (faster or slower) and you can offer that - why not?

You've taken some flak turquoise amethyst and you come across as being particularly thoughtful and well balanced to me.

School is not the be all and all for all children , neither is HE. Horses for courses.

You've tried school now you are prepared to give something else a go. Good for you.

There's good teachers and teachers who shouldn't be let loose in a classroom. I know because I was at teacher training college with a lot of them.

Some couldn't even pass a simple Maths test but were still allowed through ffs!

Hopefully they've 'learnt' over the years or they've retired now.

christina

The good thing about H.ed is that it is open ended. If it doesn't work out you can just register again.
Likewise if you have started as a solution to a problem, when the problem no longer exists the family might find the benefits have out weighed the benefit they would receive in going back to school.
We ourselves thought that dd would probably enjoy H.ed until she completed A levels, but she is starting school in September, because the school is as good a fit as H.ed has been.
You do what suits the family best.

turquoise amethyst and you come across as being particularly thoughtful and well balanced to me

Yes, very much. You are best placed to decide what is best for your child OP. Ignore the naysayers and carry on.

Best of luck .

Turquoise - I am stepping away from the thread. I have expressed concerns about your plans for your son throughout this thread, yet you only reply to me when you feel I am being "beligerent".

Perhaps this thread would have expressed as requesting support for a decision you have already made, rather than asking for opinions.

I truly hope you find help for your son. I also hope he defies the odds in regard to his mental health.

Christina - this is mumsnet. The OP asked an opinion. Therefore, that generates the need to answer with a judgement. That is perfectly allowed as I'm sure you know. Indeed, you have done it here. I am utterly within the code of conduct, and would indeed have been remiss, if I had not expressed concerns!

I think you were being belligerent on that occasion. You were sarcastic and cutting - if you don't wish to be called belligerent, don't post in that manner. There were numerous ways you could have made the same point politely and calmly.

I am absolutely fine with concerns being expressed; it's the manner with which they are expressed I commented on.

I would just hope that you were going to work with the LEA and get support and be properly monitored.

I had made the same point calmly. You chose to ignore.

The LA that are often incapable of provided the required support for children with SEN? The LA that couldn't wait to see the back of my ds and I? The LA that did every thing in their power not to have to provide my child with additional support? That LA?

He doesn't have SEN.

Sorry that was to Mehitabel.

Just caught up with this thread. To answer the original question, I'd find the idea of home schooling interesting. A friend of mine does "unschooling" (not sure I understand the difference btw that and HE), but I know she's found lots of support on FB groups. I'm a qualified counsellor, and, no, I wouldn't be dragging and forcing an 8 yr old into school. I thikn, OP, if you can spend this time with your DS, teaching him and making things OK, then go for it. As you and others have said it's not necessarily a forever thing. Some people on this thread sound terrified of stepping outside of any boxes - the child is 8, he's not going to be consigned to the scrap heap if he's HE for a while Far from it.

Re SN parents and physical violence (from other kids, I am understanding, not the actual teachers) at school, I am wondering how much of this is a class thing- that is, how much of this goes on in schools at good neighbourhoods, and how much in poorer/ inner city areas.

We live in a traditionally poor ex mining village with some newer detached family housing, so it's gone from high FSM to low FSM in the 8 years I've had a child at the local school. Between the boys, I can count the number of bullying incidents on one hand. Anything that has sprung up has been nipped in the bud quite quickly because there is a supportive, inclusive culture. It helps that that generally goes for the whole community, though. Both of the boys have had some spectacular meltdowns out and about and I've always had offers of help.

We're very fortunate, in that respect, even if said offers of help were counter-productive with DS1.

See Avon, I'd be going with what has been proven to work best for kids in his situation. It's not about people being terrified of doing something different. It's concerned people expressing concerns at a knee-jerk reaction, when a more tempered approach has been proved to work. And now I really am stepping away.

HRTFT but I'd say it depends on the child, the range of potential schools, the particular circumstances your child's in, how resilient they are at coping with possibly temporary difficulties, whether they have SN.

There really is no one-size-fits-all HE family just as there is not a single variety of child. It's not going to suit all children and it's not going to suit all adults.

OP I did respond to your question about how to get your child into school, but you haven't come back.

Fine if you don't want to answer, but just to reiterate: how you get him back in would depend on whether you wanted to or not. So the first question is, do you want to get him back into school?

I want him to be happy so that's hard to answer. Do I want to force him in - no. Do I want him to go in and feel secure and happy - yes, of course.

But the question is, do you want him back in school or are you happy to keep him out because it's easier?

Just that it seems (again, not wanting to be mean; just how it appears) that unless someone can come up with a quick fix for getting him in without any upset or difficulty and preferably at the first attempt, you're probably not up for it.

In my experience, which is of course limited to several completely different children from yours, it can take several days if not weeks. But it won't be successful if the parent isnt committed to the child being back in school.

It's nothing to do with ease suburban and everything to do with happiness.

That truthfully answers your question as best I can.

I think it is hard when you have been through a family breakdown, you so want to make them happy and the guilt is overwhelming

It's difficult when they have been through so much pain to feel as if you are inflicting more on them.....you just want to make their wee would alright

Ok, sorry but in that case it's impossible to say how you could get him in. If I was working with you, I would have to know you want your DS back in school and were prepared for it to take some time and for him to have good days and bad days.

If you always have a get-out, you won't be committed to making it work. You did ask how to get him in, but unless that's what you want for him, no method would work.

As someone with anxiety, I used to avoid things that made me anxious. In the very short term it was ok but in the long term it really didn't help. It becomes a habit.

I see your point re. Trust and not forcing him

But what will you do if it comes to the start of the next year and he won't go? If a school where he knows people makes him anxious, will a strange school not be worse?

Is a phased return possible?

Suburban - hypothetically then :) if a child like DS was refusing to go in and the parent wanted to get him in, how would you tackle that?