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Home ed

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Original poster

To ask what you think when you hear a child is home educated

684 replies

turquoiseamethyst · 15/03/2015 23:19

I suppose I am trying to gauge a range of opinions.

I am seriously - possibly definitely (definitely maybe?) going to be home schooling my 8 year old for a period of time.

I don't know why I'm worried; perhaps because it's so beyond the norm of what we have experienced before. I don't know anyone who home educates; I wasn't educated at home myself and I think I have known rather a lot of people who are very much of the view that school is all important. I've never particularly subscribed to that view but I've always wanted my children to have a 'normal' upbringing and going to school seems very much a part of that?

Does anyone have any views? As I'm going to possibly be de registering him tomorrow?

OP posts:
TheWordFactory · 16/03/2015 15:07

Eve there is a world of difference between making kids do things they don't much fancy, and making them do things that are making them truly unhappy.

NickiFury · 16/03/2015 15:07

I think Jemima is best ignored. She seems to making a direct correlation between HE and an apparent over abundance of antisocial behaviour issues in the UK Hmm. This makes no sense whatsoever and shows total ignorance with regards to HE and why some people choose or are forced into it.

catsrus · 16/03/2015 15:08

I did it for 6 months for a very specific reason - one dc was being bullied and the child doing the bullying was the offspring of a teacher in the school. I was not happy with the way it was handled, no other school readily available that I wanted to send them to. My youngest dc had just started in reception in the same school and was miserable, really really miserable. I had been a teacher so thought I would give it a go, I joined Education Otherwise and the Home Ed network and read up on everything I could get my hands on (of course it's all online these days!). Middle dc was happy in school so wanted to stay there - but soon decided that they wanted to join us.

I was very very impressed with some of the other HE parents, less impressed with others - but none of the kids I came across were in any way 'feral'.

We did eventually get the dc into a school where they were happy and I was quite relieved in the end as it was very full on. I think if it had been any one of mine we might have continued on with HE, but all three was tough as they were all so different. I had one making me timetables and complaining when I didn't follow it "she should be doing maths now, not reading!" along with an anarchist who resisted all attempts to follow a curriculum Confused.

Many years later I did some tutoring for a neighbour who took her ds out of school because he was being bullied (start of secondary school) causing bed wetting and severe anxiety. Again the school (different one) did not handle it well. He stayed out of school until the start of GCSEs and then went back in when he was ready and did OK academically. He was a bit of a geek anyway (which was why he was being bullied) so was very easy to teach as he was so interested in stuff.

HE can be a very different model to school - you have concentrated one to one and the actual teaching bit can be much more efficient. there is a great HE community in most towns where you can get help, join groups, access sport, art etc.

I work in education and all the research I have seen shows good outcomes for children who are HE - leaving aside the nutters who restrict the curriculum who don't need to do that now they just send them to a Free School

Join up with other HE parents would be my advice, do it for as long as it works for you, you may only need to do it long enough to get your dc through a rough patch as I did, or you might find it's the best way for your dc to progress. Good luck!

TheWordFactory · 16/03/2015 15:09

jemima did you know Beatrix Potter was home educated?

Smartiepants79 · 16/03/2015 15:09

I've not read every post but here's my opinion for what it's worth -
It must be done carefully, thoroughly planned and researched.
Are you prepared to HE for the rest of his education because if you're going to take him out of school now you must prepare for him to possibly never go back. My experience through my job of children that 'hate' school is that if they have time away then it all becomes much harder to start it up again.
The only contact I've had is with a HE group at our library. Rude, cliquey with poorly behaved children. I had a friend at Uni who was HE. She turned out to be very odd. Struggled with many social boundaries and caused some serious drama.
I'm not against HE but it needs to be done right.

That all sounds very negative but I'd consider it for my kids if they were miserable.
Last thing I'll say is identify your limitations. I'm a teacher but even so I'd be struggling to teach beyond about 13.

SallyMcgally · 16/03/2015 15:10

It needs to be pointed out that a child learns far more effectively when not in an environment where he or she is acutely unhappy. jemima's post is exactly the sort of post I mean when I say I'm surprised at how rude people have been to the OP.
Also, if you're home-educating you are EDUCATING - you're not just sitting at home doing nothing. So it's not a month, or four months off - it's a month or four months of learning.

Original poster
turquoiseamethyst · 16/03/2015 15:10

Yes I agree with you nicki

OP posts:
Iamatotalandutteridiot · 16/03/2015 15:12

I'd think 'Excellent... WHen shall we meet up!?' I home ed my son because of SEN (diagnosed, but unstatemented).

If / when you have a child with diagnosed SEN but doesn't have a statement and is supposed to attend a mainstream school without any support.... then (and ONLY THEN!) can you offer an opinion about the educational options I've made for my child.

OP - If you want to take your child out, TAKE THEM OUT. You will find a large (and very welcoming!) world out there!

IAATAUI

morethanpotatoprints · 16/03/2015 15:14

jemima

My child chose not to carry on attending school and she has had the most amazing time that no school would have been able to emulate.
It was a case of putting her first and not making her receive a second rate education not suitable for her needs.
I think H.ed dc are able to know what they want for a future career, sometimes a lot sooner than schooled dc and there really are no barriers to what they can achieve.
You talk like school is compulsory and H.ed is a form of education unsuitable for children.
You have a very narrow view and lack any imagination at all.

Christinayang1 · 16/03/2015 15:17

His behavior is not as a result of school it is a result of other issues going on in his life...op has stated that this has not just happened overnight

In the time that this thread has run this morning , op could have contacted gp, researched information on a therapist and made an appointment with the school

Iamatotalandutteridiot · 16/03/2015 15:19

Oh, Jemima, do calm down dear.

Because there isn't a damn thing you can do about it!

I Home Ed because it's the right thing for my child. I don't give a flying F if you like it or not.

In fact, reading you spewing actually makes me laugh a little bit.

LOL.

SallyMcgally · 16/03/2015 15:20

But why do you insist on thinking that the OP hasn't done any of these things christina, or isn't aware of then as options which she might or might not want to follow up? She came on asking about perceptions of home-schooling - she knows (home-) schooling is just one aspect of what's going on.

Mama1980 · 16/03/2015 15:21

Turquoise I've sent you a pm.

Iamatotalandutteridiot · 16/03/2015 15:23

Some times the need to Home ed doesn't need intervention from anyone.

my son doesn't have a physical problem; I don't need a GP.

Home can be - and is - a wonderful environment for those children who require that.

Evelight · 16/03/2015 15:23

well turquoise, that's to be expected! I would imagine combing through all the 359 posts on here, you won't find two posts exactly the same.

another experience informing my pov on HE is the experience of my close friend here- after their divorce, the father decided to HE due to religious reasons. The eduction of the kids became a long, horrible point in the long, horrible custody battle. Meanwhile, the kids idolized their father because he didn't force them to go to school, while my friend became the "mean mom" because she sent the kids to school when they were with her. It was heart-breaking to watch. At some point, the school had to involve the police because of the father physically going to the classrooms and yanking his kids out.

On the plus side, a few years later, the eldest son graduated from HS two years early, and got in uni at 16. So the scholastic and educational content of his HE experience with his dad was not in doubt- rather the emotional and social aspect of it was scarring.

Again- not saying that will happen to you! Just noting from my experience, HE is a HUGE thing to add on to the divorce.

noddyholder · 16/03/2015 15:23

I know several all completely well socialised and at university. Traditional school doesn't suit everyone and I can see that the system in some ways isn't always for for purpose. One of my sons closest friend was home ed he is at Oxford. I always remember him from when they went on a skating holiday to Barcelona all aged 16 ten of them he wash muchore capable with things like flights insurance etc etc than the rest and organised co ordinated the whole thing as his mum had taught him stuff that school just didn't. It is not ones I've fits all and we are more and more ending up with young people who just go through the system to uni when really there are no bloody jobs for them. I think there are always those who may suffer but tbh school causes suffering too so I think it's good to have the choice. All the ones I know were no different at parties or in terms of popularity or anything apart from maybe being slightly more mature with being self sufficient a do independent

Ginormarse · 16/03/2015 15:28

Honestly if it were me, I would be doing everything I possibly could to keep my child in school. I agree with those posters who have said that keeping him off school may make it harder for him to return in future.
Does your local area have a family support helpline? In our area there is the 'early help hub' that parents can self refer to and access all kinds of family support. I know of a family where the parents split very acrimoniously and suddenly, the Mum accessed support for her 8 year old daughter in the form of a counsellor who came into school to see her daughter. She doubted that her daughter would talk to or open up to the counsellor but was surprised how much her daughter opened up and how much benefit she is getting from speaking to someone totally impartial and external to the situation at home. There was not a long waiting list for this.
Have you explored all these avenues before making this big decision to HE ?

NickiFury · 16/03/2015 15:29

Great post Noddy.

StrumpersPlunkett · 16/03/2015 15:32

I am aware that the thread has moved on.
With regard to the OP I would be fascinated to see what your plans are.
If it is to Home educate I would think it could be a great solution, however if you were going to (I think the phrase is) uneducate your children and let them find their own way I would think you were being naive and not preparing your child for the real world.

Now as the thread has moved on and it is clear that your child has extra needs for the time being I would see those as the absolute priority, if taking him out within clear parameters of what you need to help him with is the focus.

I have a lovely friend who withdrew her boys for 2 years, it has ended her marriage and caused a huge amount of stress and heartache HOWEVER, she doesn't regret it for a minute as it has built the confidence and ability to cope in her eldest that now stands him in good stead to go back into school in september.

Good luck with your decisions

Iamatotalandutteridiot · 16/03/2015 15:34

Ginormorse Have you ever had to PHYSICALLY make your child go to school? Have you ever dealt with the fact that (at aged 4) they would walk out of school if not PHYSICALLY restrained.

If you had, I believe your opinion would change.

My son (now 6) will start taking GCSEs in the next few years. Not because he's super bright, but because he is pretty bright and he's better at totally immersing himself in a subject. He is NEVER going to be able to cope with 10-12 GCSEs in one year.

He has a lovely HE group of friends, nice social set. what's the problem?

noddyholder · 16/03/2015 15:35

Sorry about the typos

Ginormarse · 16/03/2015 15:45

Iam no I haven't had to physically force my child to go to school.
I don't have a problem at all with other people HE their children. I can say with certainty that it would not be right for me or my children.
turquoise has to do what she feels is best for her child I agree but she has herself been through a terribly stressful time. I absolutely don't want to be patronising but I think it is a big decision to be making and why not explore all the available possibilities before making this decision?

jemimapuddleduck208 · 16/03/2015 15:45

This reply has been deleted

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NickiFury · 16/03/2015 15:47

Why do you keep swearing Jemima? I'm find it hard to take seriously anyone as aggressive and sweary as you and that's before we even consider the use of "End of".

jemimapuddleduck208 · 16/03/2015 15:49

By the way: it's interesting that at least two of you have called me "Jemma", when my name is "Jemima". People so bad at reading and comprehension that they can't even get someone's name right when it's printed right there in front of them, yet who claim to be able to do a better job than a properly trained teacher. Your poor children. No chance of being able to get a job, with that kind of piss poor education.

Send them to fucking school. That's what it's there for.