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Home ed

Find advice from other parents on our Homeschool forum. You may also find our round up of the best online learning resources useful.

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

Original poster

To ask what you think when you hear a child is home educated

684 replies

turquoiseamethyst · 15/03/2015 23:19

I suppose I am trying to gauge a range of opinions.

I am seriously - possibly definitely (definitely maybe?) going to be home schooling my 8 year old for a period of time.

I don't know why I'm worried; perhaps because it's so beyond the norm of what we have experienced before. I don't know anyone who home educates; I wasn't educated at home myself and I think I have known rather a lot of people who are very much of the view that school is all important. I've never particularly subscribed to that view but I've always wanted my children to have a 'normal' upbringing and going to school seems very much a part of that?

Does anyone have any views? As I'm going to possibly be de registering him tomorrow?

OP posts:
Reddragon116 · 16/03/2015 11:47

Done properly to suit the individual child it can be the best thing for a child - done badly it can be the worst thing for a child

Original poster
turquoiseamethyst · 16/03/2015 11:48

He's been refusing for a week - have had issues prior to this though.

OP posts:
PuffinsAreFictitious · 16/03/2015 11:50

Based on DS2's horrendous experience of school, I usually think, poor kid, another one failed by ms education, hope s/he has the brilliant outcome DS had because I removed him from school and HE for nearly 3 years.

morethanpotatoprints · 16/03/2015 11:50

Bird

For somebody who seems to know nothing about H.ed you are very judgemental.
I'm sure there are H.ed families who would pity your child for having to attend school and you not looking at alternatives that could be better than the school you chose.
Why would you find ways to get your child to school, ot of interest?

Dowser · 16/03/2015 11:51

Why do some mum's think you have to be able to teach a child EVERYTHING ?

Do you know everything?

I went to school for thirteen years and I certainly don't know everything. I know a bit about a lot of things but I'm a specialist in nothing. Isn't that how most of us get by.

Once you give your child the tools, then they can teach themselves. Isn't that what we do? If I find something iminterestedin then I will research it. Isn't that what happens in universities, you READ A specialist subject.

One home edded child my daughter knows wanted to learn Japanese when he was a tern ager so he taught himself it.

When I was 40 I wanted to learn Esperanto so I taught myself it and got a GCSE in it as did my 14 year old daughter. Learning does not start and end with the school day. Once you can read and understand you can teach yourself anything.

EbwyIsUpTheDuff · 16/03/2015 11:53

to answer the original question, my first thought woudl be "I hope this parent has more clue than the ones I know!"

I had one parent try to tell me that an hour and a half of rugby training each week was enough social interaction for my shy 4 year old and thus I wouldn't have any need to worry about that aspect if I pulled my kid out of school due to some other issues (sorted them out now). Her child had difficulties, but the teaching she provided was very sub-par.

And we had a kid in my senior school for a week who was pulled out of school because his mother worried about him due to his diabetes (controlled, usually. And no worse than the several other insulin-dependent diabetics in the school) who was very isolated as he was never allowed out to play or socialise either.

those thoughts would be followed by "I hope she looks into homeschooling networks etc, rather than just bodging it badly like the parent I described in my first example!"

grannytomine · 16/03/2015 11:54

I did it till they were year 4. Loved it and they really weren't lonely. We met up with other home schoolers and did some organised events e.g. we hired a French lady to do some French language with them once a week. We would all sit in the kitchen having a childfree catch up. Great fun. One Mum was an artist and she did stuff with them, we had days out. They also went to brownies/cubs, swimming lessons,football club etc.

I think homeschoolers vary as much as any other group. I found some lovely, some a bit earnest, some a bit strange, some a bit pushy and some very laid back (most of us in the group I went to)

Lots of people will think it is weird/illegal. Lots of mums ask you to hide it from their kids as they tell them it is the law that they have to go to school and they don't want you to let them know that is a lie.

Good luck if you go for it.

BirdInTheRoom · 16/03/2015 11:56

I'm judgmental about the complete lack of research and planning, and general knee-jerk reaction - not about HE.

Why not just keep him off school until Easter and try and get him some help - that would give the OP more than a month to explore all the options properly without just whipping him out of school after deciding on a Sunday night that HE might be a good idea.

flagnogbagnog · 16/03/2015 11:56

Hi there, I'm sorry I havnt read the whole thread. Just wanted to say that I could have written your post.

My DS is 11. He has hated school since day one. I always thought he would grow out if it. What started off as him sobbing at the school door everyday has gradually turned into massive anxiety.
I've been researching home schooling for a few months now. And I think it's going to be the way to go for him. He's up for the idea, but we have agreed that he will finish yr 6 in school. The plan is for him to then take 2 GCSE's a year in subjects he is interested in.

I have 3 other children and they will stay in school. They are thriving there.

Just wanted to say that you should do what ever is best for your child. Don't worry about what the world thinks. It could be the making of them!

Dowser · 16/03/2015 12:05

Lovely sensible viewpoints streaky bacon and firstwetakemanhattan

I'm sitting here applauding and cheering from the side lines.

Turquoise amethyst I also applaud you for doing what is right for your son.

You're putting his needs at the forefront of things. Who in their right minds would condemn you for that.

My grandchildren are 5, 7 and 10. All are bright and confident. The things that they can educate me with are amazing.

Hakluyt · 16/03/2015 12:08

"Only because I don't want to endlessly repeat myself hak and because I miss things - it's a long thread. I imagine ewo referrals and possibly ss"

Two weeks of being off sick will not trigger either of these things- particularly if you have your doctor's support, which I think you said you have. Let the school know what you are doing- they may not like it, but they may be more sympathetic than you think. That gives you breathing space to think and plan. And for your ds to have a sense of what not being at school feels like.

Dowser · 16/03/2015 12:09

Birdsin the room..what turquoise amethyst said about that is she wanted all pressure off him.

Giving him a month off is not taking off all pressure...it's giving you the expectation that you are going back to something that caused you deep distress.

If you had a nervous breakdown at work and was told you could have a month on the sick or the rest of your life to get over it, which would you choose?

grannytomine · 16/03/2015 12:10

To pp who have talked about the need for teaching qualifications etc. My DD decided to start school in year 4. We had no organised "school" she played explored did activities like swimming and music. I left school at 15 with no qualifications.

When she started school at the start of year 4 she was assessed by the SENCO as we were told she would need help to catch up. Fair enough. At the end of the first two weeks all assessments done and we were told she was one of the top in her year in reading, spelling, maths. Top in RE ( her interest not mine). Top in music, she was grade 4 piano, bottom in PE (arguable she had done more running, swimming, climbing than any of them but couldn't catch or throw a ball which seemed really important at school.

I wouldn't have felt happy with doing senior school but primary was fine, if I had my time again I would have kept her at home till year 7.

Dowser · 16/03/2015 12:10

It's lovely tosee just how many mumsnetters are home edders too!

butterfly2015 · 16/03/2015 12:10

I have mixed thoughts. On the one hand I've spoken to a mum whose he kids have done amazingly well.

On the other I spoke to a mum who says she is being led by what her child wants to learn then admitted that aged 10 her child cannot read but wasn't bothered because they watch documentaries on tv. I was like Shock.

BathshebaDarkstone · 16/03/2015 12:11

I hope you have a lot of time. Also, has he already got lots of friends? Those would be my only concerns.

Philoslothy · 16/03/2015 12:12

I agree that two weeks of school would not trigger a referral, particularly if it was supported with a doctor's note. The school must have wider concerns, usually they discuss these with you before making the referral.

happybubblebrain · 16/03/2015 12:12

DD finds one day a week at home without friends quite hard, I'm not sure how she'd manage 7.

I do think homeschoolers are brave and the children often get a better education, but at the price of friendships and learning how to mix with all kinds of people.

My first reaction would be how the homeschooler would find the money, time, patience and resources and wonder if they were doing it just because they prefer to keep away from the mainstream because they think they are superior.

I don't think DD's education is wonderful, but it is still better than I could provide. And I have lots of qualifications and skills.

ConferencePear · 16/03/2015 12:14

Turquoise may I respectfully suggest that you buy a TV ?
I started out as a 'no TV for my children' person, but I quickly realised that it was making it more difficult for my DS to fit in at school so I bought one. So much of our kids conversation and play is based on TV programmes that not to be able to participate tends to isolate those who can't join in.
Being a veggie and not liking football are enough of their own to make him feel very different; I think the 'no TV' thing is a step too far.

NickiFury · 16/03/2015 12:15

I have two children with ASD. I am a lone parent and I HE one and the other goes to school.

I also want to know what the concerns are with there being a toddler around as well? It was asked on OP's other thread too.

What do I think when I hear about someone HE. I think great! What are they doing? What groups do they go to? Maybe we can get in on that? Smile

QTPie · 16/03/2015 12:16

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ at the poster's request.

Baddz · 16/03/2015 12:18

I never cared what anyone thought.
My ds was showing signs of clinical depression. At 6 years old. His school was dire, he was bullied by the same child from pre school. He was also bullied due to his sen. He was called "slow" "thick" etc. The school knew. They did nothing.
The teachers were uninterested and only cared about ofsted.
After a few weeks of home ed I got my happy little boy back :)
He went back into a school setting after a year at a small village primary.
He was very happy there.
He is now in year 7 at the local comp and doing well.
Someone very wise on the home ed boards said;
"School will always be there. It's not going anywhere"
and she was spot on.
Just because you home ed it doesn't mean you child will never go back into ms.
Kids can do Igcses now.
If I were home schooling an older child I would get a tutor for maths though I am useless at maths

Baddz · 16/03/2015 12:18

Oh, and my youngest was only 15 months when we began home schooling!

Original poster
turquoiseamethyst · 16/03/2015 12:19

He does watch TV, just on the iPad not an actual TV.

OP posts:
morethanpotatoprints · 16/03/2015 12:21

happy

Just to pick up your point about H.ed dc learning how to mix with all kinds of people.

We and many other H. edders find that there is far more scope for our dc to manage this, whereas at school they mostly mix with children of the same academic year group.
My dd has learned to mix and socialise with dc from all walks of life, different ages, various communities. At school they were all the same type of child, same age, parents very similar with pretty much the same culture.
From a social pov I don't think there is any disadvantage and that access to a social life can be no different at all.
My dd has friends who are both schooled and H.ed and works/ plays alongside both at various activities.