Regretting taking kids out of school.

[apocketfulofposy]

Posting here for traffic,sorry.

I have 5 children ranging from aged 6 to 10 weeks old.

We always planned to home educate after reading a book about it when ds1 and 2 were toddlers,then when ds1 was about 4 and a half,and i was pregnant with baby number 4,i decided to give our local primary a go,partly because it was just that time where he would of been going and partly because i was finding it hard with them all at home (no family on either side for 3 hours,husband who works away monday to friday,rural ish area,i cant even drive!).

Anyway reception was ok,he liked it,made plenty of friends,dc2 and 3 went to the pre school and liked it,except dc2 had lots of issues with hitting other children and just general destructive behaviour.

When ds1 started yr1 last year he hated it from the word go,he still liked seeing his friends but he really noticed the change between mostly play to mostly lessons,plus his teacher left after a term and the new one was very strict and spoke to the children like she was some kind of prison officer.

Ds2 started reception and seemed to enjoy it but after a few weeks i was called in a few times about his hitting and destroying things,they said he just physically wasnt ready to be at schoolt hat much so put him down to half days,which was a bit of a faff for me as i was in and out all day but it was fine.It didnt seem to help though and he was behaving worse and worse at school,especially at lunchtime,but strangely his behaviour at home was getting better.

Add to this the fact i was finding it hard carting them all around everywhere and i felt crap because i kept forgetting to reply to things and i kept hearing all this micheal gove stuff,i just decided to pull them out,id been thinking about it on and off for a while and just thought do it,and id id it almost on a bit of a whim.

The first few weeks were great and we all loved the novelty of not rushing around in mornings and the kids have been playing all day,and actually one good point is that they have been getting on so much better.

But apart from that i am starting to regret taking them out,i miss the routine,i miss being able to take the babies to their groups and talking to my "mummy friends"(cringe) i miss being able to go to the shop quickly with just the double buggy,i also just dont know what to do with them,and the house is just such a mess!

I know these are'nt huge things but its starting to feel chaotic and i can feel it going back to the way it used to be,before school,and it hink i underestimated how much it did for all of us.I just dont know what to do!

Help and advice please!xxxxx

By FE I meant beyond school. I suspect that you are talking about a very poor school and thinking it is typical when it isn't.

If you are working in travel, hospitality etc you do not need a GCSE or A'level in them. Much better to have Science, Geography,a modern language etc.

TamerB

I'll remember that next time I'm on holiday, I won't want my air hostess or resort staff trained or my chef to know what he's doing. I'll ask to see his GCSE's and A levels in Geography and Science FFS. Language, a good idea but not as essential as the ability to do the job.

I didn't say they shouldn't be qualified! They do not need GCSEs or A'levels in it. Someone studying Sociology at university does not need an A level in it. I doubt whether many chefs or air stewards have GCSEs in hospitality or tourism - not the better ones anyway.

I would advise anyone wanting to be a chef or cabin crew to get good core subjects and give tourism etc a miss.

Even children who go to school do a lot of learning outside it, and IME parents have an important role to play in encouraging kids to take responsibility for their own learning, and think beyond just getting the qualifications.

I agree- in the same way that a student wanting to study medicine wouldn't take a GCSE in healthcare.

"Only Maths and English are compulsary at GCSE equivalent and none are compulsory at higher levels, it's a free choice."

What, not even science? I thought all high schools insisted on science at GCSE. DD's school has English, maths, science and PSE (yes, I know) as compulsory subjects and then they have a choice from 23 other subjects including photography, dance, health and social care, drama, media studies, graphic design as well as the traditional academic subjects.

I am beginning to think that some home educators base their ideas of school on their own experiences, which in most cases will be out of date.

DD is only in year 9 and already has a lot of projects to do for homework where she has to do her own research. She is definitely not spoofed at school.

I agree with your last post happy

No,morethan, I am not a wannabe home educator- I have a lot to say because I know a lot about home education from several different perspectives. And I chose school education for my children and I do not regret it at all-even though it is far from perfect.

My children currently in school had a restricted choice of subjects due to timetabling. So, that is a recent event not something related to my own out-of-date school experience.

I don't like the slating schooled children are getting. I taught A levels and we went well beyond the syllabus. Lots of good study skills taught etc.All our subject teachers had degrees in the subject (oxbridge, london, durham). It was a particularly good school but I do think there would be a lot more depth and breadth at that school than availablle if I were to home ed secondary. Also having the daily contact with a variety of teachers is very good in terms of developing study skills etc. You might be able to do some OU courses in niche subjects but that is nothing like having subject specialists teaching day in day out.

However - that's if you want to do the A level route, and many HE do choose to go into college for A levels (I taught some). It isn't the only model by any stretch, and I'm not sure any of us are even saying that?

I think in cases like morethan, when its obvious their child wants to pursue a specialist career it makes lots of sense, but she will sacrifice some subjects to focus on others (and with good reason, and I may well do the same if I had such a talented child!).

If my children turn out to be academic as I was I would rather a "good" traditional education until 16, covering all the bases of maths, science, english etc. We do lots of "home ED" outside of school hours. MY daughter's infant school is fantastic and each night I am so glad I decided to send her instead of home ed (in our case). She is learning so much. It suits her though, she is happily independent and doesn't need me for reassurance, she picks things up very quickly and is flying at school. I could still choose to home ed for junior years if things change and back in for senior.

It does depend on what is right for the family. I don't at all like the HE insistence that its always superior as in many cases it may well not be. It can be fantastic when done well, and gives a chance to pursue a talent perhaps that there might nto be time for with school - as per morethan.

I can't see why I am upsetting you so much morethanpotatoprints, I am not remotely interested in what you used to teach years ago, it is not what I am discussing- I just hate the idea that HEed children are free spirits and superior to children who just happen to learn the same subject with others. They are individuals - HE is merely a choice of education that suits some children. They have the good,bad and indifferent - the same as schools.

Tamer

You don't upset me at all, if you weren't interested in what I taught, why make several posts on the subject?
My dd is a free spirit and she is H.ed, I personally don't think the free spirit would have been tolerated, or encouraged, or at school.
My dd was very happy at school and we had no particular problem. H.ed is just better for dd and many other families. Schools are better for lots of other people.
I don't think anybody is more superior than anyone else, but if a thread is specifically about H.ed I will comment on the positives and any negatives I have found. At the present we don't have any negatives, and the family are happy the way we are.
No doubt there will be new challenges when dd joins school in y7/8?

Morethan- could you explain the way the free spirit wouldn't be tolerated in school?

Apart from the obvious practical having to do lessons at the same time as everyone else sort of ways?

I have two "free spirits" and they are well supported at school.

Goodness

You are right about the sacrificing of some subjects for others. I couldn't have put it better myself.
Some H.ed families do the same range as schools and then when they get older specialise a bit more.
If dd had been like ds1 there is no doubt I would have kept her in school, just because it was lovely, with superb pastoral care.
To be able to stand up and tell your peers you wanted to be an Opera singer at 6 would have lead to peer pressure to give up or bullying at the schools ds1 and 2 went to. But dds little primary her peers were and still remain very supportive of her talent, some even come to concerts.
I have been over ruled on the school front, not that I would ever stop her doing what she wants/needs to do and her and dh are talking about her boarding some time early secondary. I would rather she do days and board about 14/15 but they have both decided.
Will have to wait and see.

I'm not sure people are slating school children, maybe the schools they are familiar with. In fairness, it is difficult when you have put so much thought into an important decision, and it is going well, not to want to shout it from the roof tops.
I suppose comparison is inevitable as well, the good and the bad.
In regards to A levels, maybe I was just a crap teacher in a crap college . My points were the general impression I got from other teachers elsewhere though.
For now I am enjoying my time with dd at home for the next couple of years or so.

My DS2 wants to be a teacher so I guess he's gaining something from the school atmosphere....most amusing as it would definitely be poacher turned gamekeeper in his case!

Martorama

My dd is a talented musician and practices for about 4 hours a day.
She does bits of academic work in between or after etc.
Sometimes she will do half an hour and then have a break, then do another hour, then break etc. So the day is her own time table.
A school would tell her what to study, when to study it, how to record the information. In other words the day is mapped out for them.
H. ed allows them free will, to do what they like when they like.
It has also allowed dd to be involved with certain things she wouldn't have been able to participate in had she still been at school, due to time restraints and too much absence from school.

twelve

Once again, bully for them. I'm pleased they enjoy school and it manages their free spirit.

But many schools do- that's the point. Some home educators have some very biased views about schools.

Morethan- so it is just the practicalities of timetabling. I thought you meant something deeper when you said that being a free spirit wouldn't be tolerated at school.

twelve

We H. ed atm because no school can offer dd what she wants and needs, none anywhere. The school she wants to go to at secondary wouldn't be right for her now.
That is not to say there aren't lots of schools offering many children what they want/need.
It just isn't for us atm.

Are a child's wants and need the same thing though? many kids would want to sit and play Minecraft all day- not sure that's what they need though. Left to their own devices some children would be illiterate= is that OK?

Wants and need may not always be the same thing.

Are singers supposed to practise so much so young, by the way? Or is that 4 hours of other instruments?