Regretting taking kids out of school.

[apocketfulofposy]

Posting here for traffic,sorry.

I have 5 children ranging from aged 6 to 10 weeks old.

We always planned to home educate after reading a book about it when ds1 and 2 were toddlers,then when ds1 was about 4 and a half,and i was pregnant with baby number 4,i decided to give our local primary a go,partly because it was just that time where he would of been going and partly because i was finding it hard with them all at home (no family on either side for 3 hours,husband who works away monday to friday,rural ish area,i cant even drive!).

Anyway reception was ok,he liked it,made plenty of friends,dc2 and 3 went to the pre school and liked it,except dc2 had lots of issues with hitting other children and just general destructive behaviour.

When ds1 started yr1 last year he hated it from the word go,he still liked seeing his friends but he really noticed the change between mostly play to mostly lessons,plus his teacher left after a term and the new one was very strict and spoke to the children like she was some kind of prison officer.

Ds2 started reception and seemed to enjoy it but after a few weeks i was called in a few times about his hitting and destroying things,they said he just physically wasnt ready to be at schoolt hat much so put him down to half days,which was a bit of a faff for me as i was in and out all day but it was fine.It didnt seem to help though and he was behaving worse and worse at school,especially at lunchtime,but strangely his behaviour at home was getting better.

Add to this the fact i was finding it hard carting them all around everywhere and i felt crap because i kept forgetting to reply to things and i kept hearing all this micheal gove stuff,i just decided to pull them out,id been thinking about it on and off for a while and just thought do it,and id id it almost on a bit of a whim.

The first few weeks were great and we all loved the novelty of not rushing around in mornings and the kids have been playing all day,and actually one good point is that they have been getting on so much better.

But apart from that i am starting to regret taking them out,i miss the routine,i miss being able to take the babies to their groups and talking to my "mummy friends"(cringe) i miss being able to go to the shop quickly with just the double buggy,i also just dont know what to do with them,and the house is just such a mess!

I know these are'nt huge things but its starting to feel chaotic and i can feel it going back to the way it used to be,before school,and it hink i underestimated how much it did for all of us.I just dont know what to do!

Help and advice please!xxxxx

Does anyone watch Americas Next Top Model?
There is a Home Schooler on there who everyone says is not giving Home School a good name.
She keeps phoning her mom in floods of tears and talking about her mom all the time.
Although she is away from home at 18 for the first time [as are some others] she is super duper linked to her mom.
She has even said that she does not want to get married, why does she need to that when she has got her mother?

You seem to be free associating, anchories. Or shall I dredge up some TV programme featuring a school educated person who's having trouble adapting to adult life and whose lifestyle I wouldn't want to share? I'm sure I could find a few.

Bunbaker

I doubt whether many radically unschooled people would be happy working in an office tbh.
We aren't radical at all and our dd at 10 years old has already stated what she wants to do, and it is certainly not working for an employer, or having an office job.
I have found that H.ed, especially semi or completely autonomous allows children to work towards goals that often a school system wouldn't allow or in fact work against.
It must be so hard to gain the GCSE's you actually want/need after leaving school where you weren't allowed to pursue them, either through lack of subject teacher or time table structure.
It is good to know they have free choice when the time comes.

"I doubt whether many radically unschooled people would be happy working in an office tbh."

I daresay you are right. But how do children work towards a goal if they have no idea what they want to do?

DD doesn't know what she wants to do so she is just taking a broad range of subjects at GCSE to start with.

Bunbaker

I suppose they are all different, but some children know what they want from an early age and even if they can't precisely pin point the exact job, know what area it is in.
I think that H.ed can enhance this, if the child is that way inclined.
Many years at school, if it doesn't include this subject, or if the school are particularly bad a delivering the subject, won't help the child.
I believe with free thought they are more likely to know at a younger age.

I should think that a large proportion work in offices, many jobs are based in them at least part of the time. Sandra Dodd's eldest works in an office, he is in customer services. You seem to be equating office with 'boring' despite the fact that many creative jobs like architect are office based.

Have schools stopped 'free thought' and if so - how?

I have never heard of schools not fitting in the subjects at GCSE that you really need- if they can't then there are evening classes. My DS needed life drawing- the school found him an evening class in the area especially for A'level students and he went for free.

"I doubt whether many radically unschooled people would be happy working in an office tbh.
We aren't radical at all and our dd at 10 years old has already stated what she wants to do, and it is certainly not working for an employer, or having an office job. "

Unlike the boring old "mundanes" who use schools?

Even the most gloriously free thinking talented creative untrammelled by convention product of radical unschooling has to eat. Unless their parents are prepared to support them as they work towards their goals, however long that takes.

I think it is thought that schools produce the drones and HE the 'free spirits'! ( by one side)

Tamer

Ime children who attend school don't get free choice over the subjects they choose at GCSE, only a fraction of available courses are actually taught at school.
I think the atmosphere and culture does not encourage free thought tbh and children who gain this do so from the home environment whether they attend school or not.

Martorana

I wasn't talking about radical unschooled children, I was talking H.ed in general. Yes, my dd would find an office job boring, so shoot.
There are many like this, otherwise everybody would work in an office surely.
We don't take a radical approach, but believe in a child led education.
We started off pretty structured but 2 years in dd is a capable self motivating independent learner, which will do for me.
When I taught at A level my students and the system expected them to be spoon fed all the information. If it isn't in the text book, it wasn't important. I'm sorry, but that's not getting to grips with a subject, learning much more than how to answer questions to pass the test. How is this encouraging free thought or gaining any depth of knowledge, or even aiding independent learning.

"I wasn't talking about radical unschooled children, I was talking H.ed in general. Yes, my dd would find an office job boring, so shoot."

I don't understand why this is anything to do with HE.

"When I taught at A level my students and the system expected them to be spoon fed all the information. If it isn't in the text book, it wasn't important."

You have said things like this before. I have no idea where or what you taught, but this bears no resemblance at all to the experience of my dd and her friends......

I never said it was anything to do with H.ed, just that if you have more freedom over the choices of subjects you are more likely to find something you enjoy. If you study this/these subjects and get good at them you will be more happy in life than if your preferred direction/course wasn't available to you at school.
My dd knew more about her chosen subject at school than her primary teacher, she also knows more than many secondary school teachers, even some who are supposed to be able to teach the subject.
So she decided she didn't want to waste any more time.

Martorana

A level Sociology and also Hospitality, Leisure &Tourism.
The former was just regurgitating a text book, no extra thought required or indeed marked. It was basically a prescription.
The latter was also quite prescriptive as are most courses at this level.
Why does it matter to you anyway, lots of H.ed dc take GCSE's and A levels or the equivalents, the same as schooled dc.
To me the difference is the level of choice you have outside the school system.
But of course, you can go to evening classes and have more time in school. , to me that is not a good education if the subject you choose has to be done outside.

They can take the ones that are important. I can see why anyone needs hospitality and leisure and tourism- a waste of time.

I just find the constant suggestion that children in school are inferior, that they don't/can't think , are spoon fed and would be perfectly happy with boring office jobs while free spirited HE children are far too good for such mudane existences really infuriating!!!!! Why do this?

Schools have changed a lot since most of us were kids- it's wrong to baes judgements on outdated information..
No choice at GCSE level? I'm sorry I have 2 children at secondary school and flicking through the course choice booklet there is a range of over 30 exams choices, and even more at hiugher levels. Only Maths and English are compulsary at GCSE equivalent and none are compulsory at higher levels, it's a free choice.

They need them to show they have an adequate grasp of the basics and they can study. Subjects like sociology you can do in FE.

I agree, and athough subjects are free choice at my kids school they have to be realistic about University requirements. Core subjects like Maths, English, French, Sciences, History are always looked on more favourably by Universities, and kids need to be aware of that.

That is why I keep commenting, Martorana. It is absolutely infuriating! It is based on out of date information to start with and schools are full of lively, free thinking children. They get far more chance to use it because they can bounce ideas of far more people, teachers who have degrees in the subject+ a very wide experience of life, and other children who also have a wide variety of experiences and lively imaginations etc.
There seems to be a view that teachers want compliant children who sit in silence and are spoon fed! I don't think you would get many teachers if this was the case - it is questioning minds and original thinking that make the job worthwhile.
My children had a free choice if subjects- nothing was denied and,as I said, when extras were needed they were found.
The sort of job depends on personality. Many people love offices, there is nothing wrong with working with maths and being in an office. I can think of lots of jobs where you work in offices and yet fly all over the world.
I hope that you don't pass on your prejudices to your DC, morethanpotatoprints .

Universities will not be impressed by leisure and tourism.

I didn't even realise you could do A- Level hospitality and Tourism......surely that's the sort of vocational course best covered by a B Tec?

Sorry, derail.

morethan I think you'll find that when you taught you simply didn't do it in half decent subjects or a half decent establishment.

If you had, you'd understand that there is little spoon feeding at A level.

I also find it odd that you're so against school when you're planning for your DD to board! And you've said she's desperate to go already and says you're holding her back by not letting her...

Tamer B

Ha, tell that to the people working in the industries, they were essential subjects for them.

You asked what I taught and I told you, I taught A level so of course it was F.E I don't see your point.

Teachers with Degrees in the subject, please tell me you are having a laugh. Some of my dcs teachers Degrees were in Technology, Drama, Art etc. Fine if you are teaching that, not so fine if you are teaching English or Maths.

Oh and they didn't turn out to be "mundane", so why you would suggest this is what a H.edder would think. These were your words, nobody elses.

Atthestroke

Wow that is some choice, my ds x 2 schools only offered half of those and then you were restricted by time table and had to choose from columns. You couldn't do several languages or all humanity subjects for e.g and Science was compulsory too.