How do couples handle holiday budgets when one partner earns more?

[flappes]

DP and I earn different salaries. I take home around £8k a month and he takes home about £5k a month. We’re not married but live together.

He doesn’t like spending on holidays. He’s happy to spend £1,000 each on a week in Lanzarote in December. I did those hols growing up so I would prefer to spend £2,000 each on a week in Mexico.

If I offer to pay more he gets annoyed and says he can pay for himself. Then he complains that the holidays I want to go on are too expensive. So I say fine, I’ll pay the difference? But he won’t let me. What do you do in this circumstance?

We don't always agree on holiday choices but it is a case of keep discussing it till we find something we are both happy with, or do one person's thing one year, the other's the next. Or go on separate holidays. Is it actually about the money, maybe he thinks Mexico's too far for a week?

Between you you earn a lot of money so it’s not an affordability issue. I would suggest you both put a chosen amount into a separate account especially for holidays e.g. you might choose to save £500 pm, he might save £250 pm. Then you are each allowed to choose a holiday destination from without that budget e.g.

Total: £9k
You: £4K Mexico
Him: £2k Lanzarote
Joint: £3k Greece

Or

Total: £9k
You: £4.5k on 1 holiday
Him: £4.5k on 2 holidays

Compromise??

Yeah, I think she's asking how.

Why don’t you save up for Mexico make it "goal" holiday ? If you don't want to just go on holiday in December then you might be with the wrong person he isn't prepared to give or compromise which is a shame he's cutting his nose of to spite his face.

It sounds like the issue is less about the actual money and more about finding something you’re both comfortable with. If he genuinely doesn’t want to spend more, you may need to agree on a holiday budget together rather than one person paying the difference.

Luckily, my husband and I are are very aligned on holidays as we met travelling and travel is a priority for both of us. I always need to have a trip at least planned in my head, keeps me sane. Our household income is significantly less than your household income, but we are spending far more than 4k on holidays, though we have 2 kids so paying for 4 people. Surely your partner is open to compromise? That is the very nature of relationships. Maybe you can do Tenerife one year and a destination of your choice the next. Is he saving for something in particular, is that why he is quibbling spending the extra £1000? I would also encourage you to consider travelling without him, with friends or on a group trip? Don't miss out on the world if he won't deviate from Tenerife.

I like the Lanzarote one year, Mexico the next idea. With European city breaks for you and any similarly inclined friends in between times, which shouldn't use up too much annual leave.

I would suggest that you have an account in which you both save a pot for holidays.

How do you split the rest of your expenses? PPs are right, this should ideally be part of your overall financial setup, which again ideall involves each partner paying proportionately for joint expenses. A holiday savings pot is a good idea.

Does he want expensive holidays? I am not too bothered about holidays, but will go on them because DH enjoys them. I would be reluctant to spend lots of money on them, and equally reluctant to let him pay.

We alternate holiday styles so we’re both happy and in agreement.
He likes mountains, hiking etc, which i love but don’t want to be all our holidays, so we’ll do a hiking holiday, next one will be an all inclusive chill holiday, then many another chill holiday followed by another mountain holiday. We try and keep the mountain holidays to summer.
We do make sure to accommodate each other’s preferences on each holiday style, like i don’t want really long hikes, on AI he wants activities included so he doesn’t get bored.
He earns roughly 3 times my salary so pays a third, that was his call, i never asked him to.

Life is too short for mediocre holidays! Agree an approach. Do you split costs pro- rata in other aspects of your life? Or get married and have one pot of money!

He chooses one year and you the next?

it’s honestly much easier once you pool together money. Our holidays get paid for by the joint credit card which dh pays the lions share. In the meantime it’s probably easier to split it down the middle

I pay for all our holidays in full.

Taking it in turns to pay is a good compromise. As is both paying what you can afford comfortably into a joint holiday account.

Like couples do on everything else you compromise.
My DS and his partner have different incomes and different preferences on holidays.
They alternative between his and her preferences and they pay pro rata their income.

Meet in the middle somewhere financially and location wise!

It is not unusual for couples to have separate trips to do the things they enjoy that the other partner is not too interested in. Then there is the annual compromise trip where each party gets something that they want, but not everything.

In our case there is a relatively small difference in take home salary, but everything goes in the one pot and no one cares who spends what as long as we can pay the bills and enjoy life as best we can within our means.

Go on the expensive holiday with your girlfriends and leave him behind!

If there is somewhere either of you do not want to go make arrangements to go with friends

Take it in turns to organise and pay for both of you?
Accept you aren't compatible when it comes to holidays and go away with others?

The price of Mexico isn’t expensive! This couple have a lot of money! I’d be wondering if I was compatible. I always earned way less than DH (eventually 10 times less) but we agreed on holidays and he paid. It’s what you do when you can. I’d not be with anyone for whom the Canary Islands was the height of their holiday ambition.

We share money - so holiday money just comes from the joint bills pot.

Even if you prefer Holiday A and he prefers Holiday B, surely you primarily want each other to be happy? So you do one persons preference one time, another person's the following time.

If he refuses to do your preferred Holiday, or you refuse to do his, then you likely have a deeper issue.

This isn’t really about the holiday.

I used to earn around £25k and my DH earned around 10 times more. All holidays were paid for by him others wise o would have never have gone. I paid for all our DD s activities and all my own clothes, haircuts etc. My wage was more like pocket money. We are retired now and just have one pot of money.