How do family holidays change when a child goes to university

[mikehandlesburning]

We tend to plan ahead for holidays as we tend to move around rather than one spot. I've just realised that with my DD going off to uni that is going to get more complicated. She is still happy to come away with us, but will have placements and or (hopefully) a job.

How have people navigated this transition? Do your DC still take a family holiday? I know everyone's different, but it's a bit of new era and my other DC wants DD to come.

Any thoughts?

We book a self catering place in the UK each year which is big enough for everyone and tell the DC they're all welcome if they want to join us. They're 20, 21 and 23 and so far they all have.

My dc didn’t come once at university, nor did I go with my parents

I got a negative response when I posted similar but the general theme was every family is different.

The general consensus on here I’m awful for even considering not taking her even though I’ve not had a holiday this year and dd1 went to Canary Islands with her long term girlfriend. I’m also awful for not taking her girlfriend with us - would mean a bigger hire car and I have 3 dc so holidays are already £££££.

I’m booking in January but will definitely include dd1, who will be 19 - I asked her and she wants to come.

I never went on holiday with parents after 18 and that felt normal to me. I wanted to holiday with friends and then boyfriend, now husband. But my parents’ style of holiday was different to my preference. My dc seem to like our holidays.

Our Dd has come both years so far and has said she will next year as well. We will book a cruise for next summer to cater towards the different ages better I think.

I never went away with my parents post 16 - I always had a summer job and any holidays I took were with friends. We went Greek island hopping, Inter-railing, Spanish package holidays. One year I just stayed home when my parents went away and invited lots of friends to hang out at home - that was a lot of fun !

DS1 is 18 now. Last summer he had a ´lads’ holiday to Malta, a week in Scotland with a friend, and two weeks with us visiting family. This year he came with us for 1 week, and a week with his girlfriend. TBH I’m happy to have a week with him, but don’t expect much else.

I always went on holiday with my family when I was at university (and after) but I’ve never really been one for holidaying with friends. I used to have quite a lot of uni work to do over the summer too which I’d do on holiday.

We have no idea of where they will be. We will see nearer the time - a villa might be the best option though!

My DD came on family holidays while she was at uni. They have long summers off and mine used AL from her job. When she got a boyfriend he paid for himself and came too.

I was going to say this but was pipped to the post 🤣

except I don’t have this many kids

Our DD joined us for a couple nights as we went not too far away. Then she had the freedom to go back to uni .

I think I feel a bit sad that it's the end of an era really. We've been spoilt with some lovely times together, playing cards and sight seeing. I love the build up and anticipation but perhaps I'll just have to adjust to something last minute fuck

We book last minute because no one will commit around jobs etc. Self-catering and somewhere we can get to without flying (drive/ferry/Eurostar) so minimal financial loss if someone can’t make it. No longer than about 5 days and always somewhere where everyone can go off and do their own thing a bit, no country cottages.

We do exactly the same now the DC are older.
Up to leaving uni though they still came with us on a week beach holiday abroad. We actually did a couple of cruises when they were 19/20 which went down well.
I booked well in advance and they kept the dates free.
Both DC were home from uni from June to September so you can go outside of school holidays.

I holiday alone, with different groups of friends, and with my adult DC. It’s more last minute with the DC or we just go on a three night city break.

I stopped going with my family the summer before I went to uni. When they are visiting older relatives far away, I sometimes try to overlap my visit for a couple of days. It’s coming back to me now though, because I’ve invited my mum and siblings to join me on a holiday several times and none of them want to anymore 🤣

Invite them to come with you and they'll either accept or decline. We didn't go on holiday this summer, but DD (21) would've been too busy to come anyway, she's had alot on.

We didn't include the children in our main holiday plans once they were 18-ish. They all had their own money and wanted to go away with partners or friends, and after my inlaws inviting themselves on every family holiday, I didn't want to inflict the same on my family. As compensation, we do a long weekend with a cottage in the UK big enough for everyone to come away if they want to, and so far most of them have joined us.

My parents idea of a holiday was 2 weeks in a caravan in Wales. After many years of it I never went with them after age 16 when I was working and had my own money. My sister (7 years younger) was happy to continue to holiday with them. She had an early child and was family oriented. I was not. I could never see any point in socialising with my parents because we had very different ideas of how we wanted to spend time. All families are different.

DD just finished her first year and we are off as a family for 2 weeks on Sunday. No way she would be able to afford it on her own so she enjoys the paid for time.

Two of her best friends are in the middle of uni preparations and the third one is on holiday - scouting out unis for her year abroad. They plan a girls trip in 2027.

DH and I have a big holiday next Spring, DD was offered to come but the destination is of no interest to her. We still plan a week away at one point with her, we have a similar interest so it's just nice to do this together.

Well, back in my day, the university student stopped going on family holidays because 1) they're now an adult and 2) they wouldn't be seen dead on a holiday with the folks!

But it seems to be very different now, as adult kids don't mind bumming a free holiday off mum and dad. In reality, doesn't it depend on everyone's finances and commitments (eg vacation jobs)?

We still have one child at home so when DC1 was at university we’d book a fourth bed but not particularly comfortable, either a bunk bed or sofa bed. That way we weren’t out of pocket if DC1 didn’t come.

I certainly wouldn’t book a 3rd person on a cruise on the off chance…

The tricky part IME is that they do want to come but they find it hard to commit in advance. My DS1 was looking for an internship this summer, and some internships specifically say that the student must be available for the full length of the internship (anything from 4 weeks to 3 months) while others are more flexible.

If you don't like leaving it to the last minute (I don't either), the other option is to book the kind of thing when another person can be added to the booking fairly easily.

My DS1 found an internship and didn't come on holiday with us in the end. I'm sad about that, but obviously it was for a good reason.

Our oldest starts uni in a few weeks and, while we get on fine, they don't want to holiday with us any more, so I'm not expecting we'll take them. I think I did stuff with my friends in the holiday once I went to uni - my last pre-adult holiday with my parents was maybe when I was 16?

Honestly, if we offer to pay, all of our kids (including the ones with jobs) come with us! Everyone seems to enjoy themselves although we're not on top of each other, don't share accommodation and don't expect anything except for maybe sharing a meal once a day. It just adapts rather than stops for us.

My kids never really wanted to go on holiday with us past 13 . Just the way it worked out . They went to summer camps and we didn't feel the need to book a summer holiday every year . Probably because we had done so much traveling before hand and summer was a busy time for DH . By 16 they were off with friends or boyfriends. We seemed to be an independent bunch and I quite liked traveling solo as nobody shared my interest . I do wish they would have wanted to sometimes but it's just didn't suit our family dynamics . BTW we did plenty of family trips when they were younger .

Well I'm very happy that's not the case for us. I love their company as adults and they seem to enjoy coming along. It would be a bit sad if your children couldn't stand your company once they were adults.