How do family holidays change when a child goes to university

[mikehandlesburning]

We tend to plan ahead for holidays as we tend to move around rather than one spot. I've just realised that with my DD going off to uni that is going to get more complicated. She is still happy to come away with us, but will have placements and or (hopefully) a job.

How have people navigated this transition? Do your DC still take a family holiday? I know everyone's different, but it's a bit of new era and my other DC wants DD to come.

Any thoughts?

DS 22 still wanted to come and we've usually gone for a week mid Sept when his summer job (sports coaching children) had finished but not yet due back at university or Easter. He paid for a couple of trips with friends too. This year he is working and he came for 5 days to Malta with us and went with friends to Sicily.

We invite DS who is 20 on holiday with us and he will come if he can (he's delightful company) but often makes his own travel and hotel arrangements if he can't get the dates to work out precisely or if he wants to go somewhere else on the way (this year he headed out a day early because he wanted to go to the neighbouring country to buy books for his university course)

He tends to stay at hostels and cheaper hotels than us to save money. This is his choice, we'd pay for him to be at our hotel but he loves a deal.

Ours were often working over the summer or had holidays with friends so the family holidays reached their natural end. We took advantage of no longer being tied to school holidays for our holidays as a couple.

We did sometimes do short city breaks with them, though. I remember one really successful trip to Madrid between Christmas and New Year.

The other thing we’ve done occasionally recently is to book a self-catering cottage in the U.K., we’ve gone for a week, and various combinations of family have joined us for bits of it.

I think a course with placements is more like a job. She could ask the uni about the pattern of placements and if they get a break - they quite possibly don’t spend every week of the holidays at the placement.

Our DDs didn’t come with us after school and we went in term time. They went off with friends. Depends on child though. However the DD here should ask about how the placements work and when students get a holiday.

What’s difficult is we want to book early to lock in a nice place and look forward to it and their plans are more last minute. This has been the case since they were about 16 plus.

Work out obvious dates to avoid like festivals then we get our trip booked early and WhatsApp them the dates. They then try to get their friends trip to work around our dates.

Also op you need to manage your own expectations. Even if they come with you it’s not the same. The dynamic is not two parents and biddable kids hanging out any more it’s four adults. It was still fab to spend time with them but it’s not the same.

Honestly I had a real wobble this year accepting our amazing family holiday era is over. I was fine with dd1 going to university but this change weirdly hit me hard as holidays mean a lot to dh and I.

Our DC are now in their 20s and still come on holiday with us as a family once a year.

We work around their availability, which was tricky while DD was an undergrad because she had lots of field trips.

We are planning Egypt for Jan 2027 because it is a quiet time for both.

My DC stopped coming on holiday with us when they were 14. They were so bloody miserable! We left them with GP whilst we went away alone. It was bliss!

Christmas holidays are typically not interrupted by work placements and too short for internships - it was a safer bet for us for the family holiday

My oldest starts uni next month and my thought is a self catering uk place next year so she can come or not come depending on working / holiday with friends. The complication is that youngest is a 15yo with adhd who has little interest in anything for more than 20 minutes and would want to stay in bed until noon every day, also needs space and downtime. She likes a bit of scenery but only for the 15 minutes she needs to take a few photos for Instagram 🤣. So im not even sure it’s worth doing anything…..it’s me and the oldest that have similar holiday tastes.

How about looking at it more as the start of a new era.

Our DC are 23,24 & 26and we’ve had an annual weeks holiday together for the last 4 years. We pick a location together (Europe) and they’ve been such lovely times together. Sometimes their partners have been with us, other times it’s been just them.
We don’t pay for them but do cover dinner & drinks some evenings and the odd activity.
I still can’t really get over that they are choosing to spend their money coming on holiday with their M&D 😂

When they were kids we couldn’t really afford many holidays and thought we’d missed out, the last few years have shown us we haven’t!

It never occurred to me to take my DC on holiday once they went to university. They both worked right through the holidays. Now my DD is an older adult we are each other’s favourite travelling companions.