Keeping toddlers safe around an unfenced villa pool on holiday

[OneProudCrab]

Very excited to be going on our first family holiday to a villa. We have DS1 (3yr) and DS2 (13 months crawler). There will be PIL (but are fairly hands off parenting) and BIL with a baby also.

Ive started to get a bit paranoid about pool safety after hearing some terrible statistic that it is the number one cause of death in 1-3yr olds (think it was the US and haven't fact checked so it may be completely false but nevertheless I'm worried still).

The villa does not have a fence around it and I think the idea was to spend a lot of time in the outdoor shady area that is close but not directly overlooking the pool.

Any advice other than to stay super vigilant on how to keep kids safe and allow us to relax as much as we can whilst they play?

I wouldnt go. Far too much of a risk of drowning. The stress of having to be vigilant (including at night) would not be in anyway relaxing.

I would guess it’s been many years if not decades since you had young children @StrongandNorthern

Unfenced pool surely means you cannot relax. U will have to.do shifts looking after your toddler. Onli the parents should be doing this in my opinion. It might be easier to take the toddler in the pool with u and then put him/her in a paddling pool. This will still mean watching him in shifts, but will naturally be a smaller area to watch.

Why would you say that?
Seriously.

Everything you mention would probably partially harm a child maybe involving a trip to A&E. As those factors are in people’s homes it’s easier to mitigate the damage from them. Most people don’t have swimming pools at home. As most people know there are rarely survivors from drowning, and if there are they’re very lucky.

Ok so I’m correct
probably explains why you are “going against the grain” in your basically “chill OP…. It’s just one of many risks. No biggie”

Well it IS just one of many risks. All the ones I mentioned need to be reconsidered when in an unfamiliar (usual 'home' safety measures probably not in place) environment..
I said 'it's not ideal', but hopefully the family will cope.
We all have a difference approach I suppose, and I think maybe older people - having had that exhausting responsibility for their kids, grandkids, pupils are more ... 'relaxed', yes.
You can only do your best.
While some people would define that here as vigilance in the circumstances they are in, others would/are suggesting cancelling the holiday.
Just giving my take on it really.

Lifejackets..all the time. And not just vests..you need the kind that puts them the right side up and raises the head. Can’t understand why anyone takes small children to a place with an unfenced pool .

Fencing as an option has literally never been a conversation. Risks are explained and managed, and that's been ok.

Over the 40 years at the house, hundreds of adults and kids have been there, in and around the pool, and none have ever expressed dismay at no fence. And I'd say the vast majority have been more than once, many multiples of times. They have agency not to return if they thought it was too risky, and they came back.

Judging by comments here you'd expect the mums to be rushing to their cars toddler under arm to get away.

I'm not saying it's risk free, but it's managed, and I'd be perfectly ok on this holiday - it wouldn't cross my mind that it's a problem at all. I'd just manage it.

That's just my position - others of course are very welcome to (and most do) feel differently.

The “best” would be ensuring the villa booked has a fenced pool. That is what I find most baffling. Even booking a villa in this scenario with an unfenced pool.

oh and all the posters who visit in laws and their parents with unfenced pools. wtf?? Invest in a fence for your grandchildren surely

If you have a pool as a grandparent, and you have multiple children and toddles visiting, will you get your pool fenced?

You seem to be taking this very personally. I assume because they don’t want to. I don’t know. The configuration of the outdoor space would make it tricky - it is an old walled garden.

Everyone who uses the house now has older children. We all kept a close eye on our kids when they were young and now those days are long gone.

Sure. I am taking it “personally” 🙄 Enquiring why your parents have not bothered to fence their pool.

The key difference being that all those risks you mention would probably hurt a child and mean a trip to A&E.
Drowning means death.

We did shifts: one relaxed, the other watches them swap. It about being clear as to who is on duty.

a) extremely unlikely I would have a pool for financial and environmental reasons
b) If I did... probably depends on location. Eg, my parent's pool is directly off the house. So, like if I inherited and kept my parents house - no fence for me either, it would look ridiculous and awful. If the pool was down the end of the garden and you could fence round it like you do a tennis court, then yeah sure - my parents would maybe even think about doing this as the risk of kids 'disappearing out of sight' is higher if it's away from the house.
I don't want to sound complacent because we take managing kids around the pool seriously and you can never say never, but there's not been anything you'd even think of as a 'near miss' - it just gets managed without major issue or stress, it's honestly not a big deal.

So we went to an apartment complex for several years with an un fenced pool. We made sure there was a chair by the front door at night time/naptime so children couldn’t get out and never left the patio doors open. When we were around the pool the children had buyouncy aids on constantly and we never took our eyes off them (so no relaxing reading). I only stopped using a buoyancy aid with my autistic son in the last few years and he is 11

OP, something else I just remembered hearing- keep the pool area tidy, no floaties/chairs nearby that your older child could trip on if he did manage to get outside to the pool atea unattended. I’m not sure if you’ve heard the story of Emilie Kiser’s son drowning but it seems like he knew never to get into the pool unattended but unfortunately tripped over something and fell in :(

Each to their own
but if I bought somewhere with a pool and I knew my family with young children would be visiting… my god I’d ensure I had a fence installed.

If I already owned one, and yes let’s say it was tricky to get one easily installed (it absolutely won’t be impossible. Obviously) then prior to the first ever visit with any young children - I would get one installed.

It’s not a big deal to you. And not a big deal to your parents. Fair enough. It would be to me if it was my grandchildren.

I have twins and when they were toddlers I won a week’s holiday at my boss’s house abroad as a prize at work.

I was so naive I didn’t even think about the unfenced pool thing. We went, along with PILs. We watched the twins all the time and took them in the water with us in floating things. I can’t remember it being particularly stressful but maybe I was naive.

Maybe with twins you’re so used to not gettting any time off anyway it makes no difference!

I remember the villa had an ant problem and I was stressed out about that but not about the pool.

Also I think the twins were in travel cots so no risk of them wandering off during the night.

maybe we were just lucky though.

I will have to dig out the photos of that trip to remind myself of it. It was over ten years ago.

Maybe with twins you’re so used to not gettting any time off anyway it makes no difference!

Once out of baby period… no difference to having a 1 year or so gap surely.

You have to watch them, constantly, but maybe something like these could provide extra reassurance that there's extra time to haul them out if they fell in?
https://amzn.eu/d/011ZRRZR

But watch them all the time, even if you're indoors - its exhausting being away from home with this age group!

Wouldn't fancy that, mine are 6 and 2.5. 6 year old can swim approx 25m but 2 year old is a nightmare for being where she shouldn't. With other people there it will be a nightmare to make sure they keep the doors locked etc

I am truly glad your children were ok. Your view would be very different if that had not been the case. Too many drown,