Leaving my daughter on Holiday.

[SillyPig]

Me and my family have gone on holiday to Australia. It has been an amazing time and we’ve met up with some of my old school friends here. My child (16 girl) has struck up a strong friendship with said friends daughter (16 also).

Us adults are going out for a night on the town. Well as much as I can nowadays. I was wondering if I should leave my daughter home alone.

She is very mature for her age reading well above her peers. Reads more mature books than me. So I feel like she can be left alone safely.

However some part of me feels really uncomfortable leaving my daughter home alone in a new country. I’m going to leave her my card so they can order some pizza (probably a mistake) and they have my phone number. But it’s weird, some part of me feel like I shouldn’t go.

I know I’m being ridiculous but has anyone else felt like this.

16 is fine, if she’s happy. She could go travelling alone at that age!

Your voting is ambiguous.
Leave her alone, she's not a child.

16 is fine if you know she's responsible. Make sure she knows local emergency numbers. I think knowing the language makes a big difference too.

If course she'll be fine.

How much do you know about your friend's daughter and how trustworthy she is as an influence?
If you're there for a while could you do a trial where you go out briefly nearby and see how it goes? And keep the fact that it's a trial secret, to avoid them gaming the system and being good this time ready to take this piss when you're gone for longer next time.

Why didn’t you make the question Should I leave my daughter.

Many many people will automatically read it as that and vote accordingly.

Should I not is a bit clumsy and you won’t get a real result.

Go and have fun, presuming she is generally sensible (sounds like you feel she is) and not feeling anxious about it herself, she is 16 with another 16 year old there for support and presumably your phone number as well as credit card. She will be safe behind closed doors in an English speaking country. Enjoy yourself!

She is very mature for her age reading well above her peers. Reads more mature books than me. So I feel like she can be left alone safely.

I love that this is your benchmark for maturity!

Of course you can leave a sensible 16yr old home alone, even abroad.

But when you talk about leaving a card for pizza, you say they. So is it alone? Or is it with the other 16 yr old? So not alone at all. Also why would pizza be mistake?

I've left my 16 yr old home alone for a weekend, albeit, it was their own home and not abroad. But equally they have flown alone to meet us abroad and taken trains around the UK on their own.

I think you need to let go a bit and give them some independence.

Yes, I was confused by home alone, then with the other 16 year old. Also thought from your title that you meant flying home and leaving her there.

I wouldn’t have a problem doing this with my 16 year old, although I don’t see the relevance of her reading level! Especially fine if there are two of them.

I only ment they might spend a lot of money on pizza. Probably too much and go crazy with the food.

This! Until I read this comment I voted yes (as in leave her) and now I’m very confused.

I don’t know to much about them. This is the first time we’re meeting up in real life for 5 years. Covid canceled our last meet up and we never got round to meeting up afterwards.

When I last met the girl she was 11 and responsible at the time. She acted responsible around her parents but you know what kids are like. They can’t act one way around you and another when they are not.

I guess maybe that’s what’s I’m scared about. That my friends daughter isn’t who she says she is when alone.

Your voting makes no sense - you asked if anyone else felt this way, I voted no, and your next question is a negative, so it is really unclear what you’re asking.

I'm not voting because the question doesn't make sense.
She won't be alone will she, she'll be with another teenager who she knows. Have you asked her if she's ok with you going out? If so, I'd go.
Worrying about them buying too much food is odd. Give her a limit and tell her she mustn't spend more than that.

No, you should not not leave your daughter?

She's 16 and can call you if needed. I'm sure it's fine.

I thought you were going to go home and leave her on holiday 😐
Of course you can leave her, she's 16, it Australia not Afghanistan

OP, is your DD up for this? What are you worried they might do? I wouldn't be worried about this personally. I trust my DD to go places by herself so wouldn't be worrying about her having pizza with a new friend. Surely the new friend will be typically savvy for a 16 year old and be native. Sounds like a lovely dynamic to me. Enjoy yourself. I bet she will too.

What system are they gaming?

Leave her, it sounds fine! I didn't vote as I don't understand whether it's Yes or No.

Also I don't understand the angst over pizza!

Set a budget for food and if she goes over she owes you the rest. If that's the worst think you think could happen you definitely need to relax.

It’s not me really. She wants to be left alone. Quite eager.

You're not 'leaving her alone in a foreign country', you are going out for an evening while she stays in with her new friend. If there's a problem she will phone you and you will rescue her. Go and enjoy yourself.

Me too. I voted the other way first, because of the wording.

I have changed my vote now. You can change your vote by clicking on the other option.

She’s 16. Yes. Go for a night out.