Leaving my daughter on Holiday.

[SillyPig]

Me and my family have gone on holiday to Australia. It has been an amazing time and we’ve met up with some of my old school friends here. My child (16 girl) has struck up a strong friendship with said friends daughter (16 also).

Us adults are going out for a night on the town. Well as much as I can nowadays. I was wondering if I should leave my daughter home alone.

She is very mature for her age reading well above her peers. Reads more mature books than me. So I feel like she can be left alone safely.

However some part of me feels really uncomfortable leaving my daughter home alone in a new country. I’m going to leave her my card so they can order some pizza (probably a mistake) and they have my phone number. But it’s weird, some part of me feel like I shouldn’t go.

I know I’m being ridiculous but has anyone else felt like this.

This.

I assumed the questions was 'Should I leave my daughter' and voted yes.

I was surprised at the split then picked up from the comments you'd put the word 'not' in the question, completely confusing most people who will skim read on MN.

But either way, she isn't alone, is she?
She is with your friend's daughter.
You know, and trust your friend, who knows and trusts her dd, so you should accept that.

I also assumed - from your title - you were asking if you should leave her there whilst you flew home. Bit odd to be questioning whether a 16 yr old can be left in your friend's home for a couple of hours whilst you go out for a meal.

No she couldn’t, not nowadays. Even hostels don’t accept unaccompanied under 18s any more.

But this other 16 yo has parents who are happy to leave her alone to come out with you, so they must believe she is responsible?

You don’t need to know her. You need to know your own DD and trust her to be sensible.

It sounds fine to me. So they get stuffed on doughballs, so what?! Like PP said it’s Australia and they’ll be in a familiar home.

(I admit to being another who loves the reading level/maturity connection although I was reading from the adult half of the library when I was 11 and I also set fire to the grill at that age, so I wouldn’t get too comfortable OP…)

Of course you can leave them! They're 16, not 6! And you're in Australia which is a developed English speaking country, not somewhere where things could go badly wrong and with a language barrier!

We've travelled to Australia to stay with relatives several times and I wouldn't have given this a moment's concern when my DD's were similar ages

I don't know about Australia but in England and Wales YHAs absolutely do accept age 16+ unaccompanied.

The other 16yr old is a local?
Yes, leave them.

I had to read you question very carefully, and in the end took the not out, thought the answer should be yes, so then changed it to a no because of the negative that was actually in the question. Ignore the poll answers, and read the comments.

No they don’t, they changed it earlier this year. https://www.yha.org.uk/our-policies/booking-terms/19#valid-id-required

She won’t be alone she will be with another 16 yr old and it’s a night out hardly leaving them for a weekend of wild partying . If you are concerned about how much she will spend on Pizza just order it before you go out and stop being so uptight .

So you’re not leaving her home alone? You’re leaving her in your friend’s house with their daughter for an evening? I can’t really see the problem. If you’re worried she will spend too much on pizza on your card, give her a limit? Or go to the shops today and buy frozen pizza for them!

Then just leave her cash! Its really not that hard.

I can't vote because it makes absolutely no sense. At the same age I could stay home alone and if she is so excelled at reading books 🙄then I'm sure she will be fine with her new friend.

I had to re-read to check you had written 16, not 6. Using reading age as a benchmark for an almost adult is nuts.
Of course you can leave a 16 year old with a friend for a few hours. Stop helicoptering and let her have some breathing space.

Unless it’s a typo and she’s 6 not 16 then I’m confused why you even need to ask.

'She's reading well above her peers'....I'm sorry what?
What the hell has that got to do with anything, what a wierd benchmark.
Go out and leave her to it...

I'm pretty sure that the biggest risk here is leaving your card alone with your 16yo daughter and another 16yo that she's only recently met!

I thought you were talking about a young child @SillyPig . At 16 I travelled by myself. My 13 y old son would be perfectly fine on his own, my 16 y old son no, but he's autistic and anxious. Is your daughter disabled?

At 16, surely they could go out and eat at a cafe or restaurant.

No they don’t, they changed it earlier this year. https://www.yha.org.uk/our-policies/booking-terms/19#valid-id-required

I suppose they have their reasons, but all these limitations mean that young people reach adulthood at 18 and go off travelling or to university with no experience of doing things on their own.

If course it's fine. She's 16 and she's not alone, she's with a friend. It's Australia, not a remote jungle.
It doesn't matter how well you know the friend - your daughter is old enough to make choices, and anyway I'm sure it will be fine.

You think it’s a mistake to leave your card ?
So you don’t really trust her at all then .
I’d have no qualms about leaving a 16 year old alone , and she won’t be alone anyway .
I’m very curious about these mature books .

It's fine to leave a 16 year old home with her friends - go and have fun. It's weird to use her reading age as a measure. My child is highly literate has had a reading age at the top of the scale since he was about 10 years old, but I wouldn't have left him home alone based on that!

She's 16! Of course you can leave her in friends home with another 16yo. What a fuss about nothing!

Originally I thought you were thinking of leaving her behind in Australia when I first started reading the OP.

I despair of parents of the current generation of teens and children. Of course you can leave two 16 year olds in a safe place.

Does your DD not know what an agreed budget is?

You are treating her like a baby- of course she can be left at 16- such a strange thread.

Is reading age a thing at 16?!

Ah, you again!

So your aroace DD is speaking to your DH now, is she?

I left home when I was a year older than her.

I think she can handle 5 hours eating pizza at home by herself.