Would my children miss out later if they do not learn skiing?

[Pip290]

I don’t particularly like skiing. I have an old back injury and even innocent falls can trigger significant pain. I don’t like the cold, either. Skiing is very expensive, and we could go to a tropical beach, which I love, or explore somewhere adventurous and new instead.
DH loves skiing and snowboarding and feels it’s really important that our DC learn. I imagine DC would enjoy it as they are little sporting adrenaline junkies. However, they also like water sports, which we do on hot holidays.

DH feels it’s important for them to learn because it will be socially important later on. Will it really? He had a very privileged upbringing. However, DC are now also asking why we don’t go skiing as their prep friends do.

I really worry about serious injuries. We know two people who have had skiing injuries that were life-altering, and I know of too many broken collarbones and legs to count. I can’t think of any other activity where this has been the case.

DH feels it’s important they learn young (and friends at a recent weekend away backed him up) as otherwise they will inevitably jet off at uni and do serious damage trying to keep up with friends.

Is skiing important to learn? I don’t want DC to be left out or at higher risk later on. I’ll admit to being somewhat risk-averse. I don’t like adrenaline at all!

Are my concerns about injury overblown? Would DC genuinely be missing out if they didn’t learn? Those of you who didn’t ski growing up, did you feel left out later on?

We took the children for the first time earlier this year. I think, if you can afford it, it’s good to introduce them to it fairly young as they don’t have the same inhibitions.

They loved it! However, the expense does mean we won’t be able to do it regularly. But I hope I’ve introduced a love of something they can follow up as they get older and I do think it can create social capital in some circles (probably not ours!)

Why not compromise and do a skiing holiday and less expensive holiday one year and the other year vv?

It’s a shame not to try it with your DH’s love of skiing. You don’t have to ski.

I have to very much agree with this.

If you think your kids are likely to want to go skiing as a teenager/young adult with friends then you would do them and yourself a massive favour by getting them to learn properly when they’re a child.

i have seen plenty of inexperienced young adult men trying to keep up with their pals but just not having the skills and putting themselves and others in danger.

i have seen plenty of inexperienced young adult men trying to keep up with their pals

Yep groups of men top culprit! And the other common phenomenon is a young woman being taken skiing by her experienced skier boyfriend - no lessons, boyfriend thinks he can teach girlfriend but doesn’t wait for her, pick appropriate slopes or teach properly - girlfriend at best gets put off skiing for life and at worst gets injured.

@minipie this is actually a good idea. I could work remotely and break up the day with a spa visit / snowy walk and then spend evenings and meals together. I work for myself so this would be a good option. I then wouldn’t loose as much income that week and could perhaps do a girls weekend/spa days away to sweeten the loss of Thailand a bit.

@minipie really helpful practical guidance thank you.

This is very reassuring on school ski trips. I hadn’t considered that.

I think like your dm part of the anxiety stems from having seen the wider consequences of a bad accident. It wasn’t just seeing the physical damage caused by the accident, but the wider emotional impact it had on the whole family and the children. They still don’t know exactly how it happened (v v good skier/ but I imagine also v fast) due to memory loss . However, I have been really reassured to read how much rarer accidents in ski school/school trips with children are. This has really helped lessen my worry.

I don't and have never known anyone that has been skiing. We obviously move in different circles

My dad broke his leg on a ski holiday. My brother broke his arm. (Years later).

They both tripped over loose paving stones!

Which goes to show
A) my family is extremely accident prone
B) accidents happen everywhere

This is really good advice and I would also second going at Easter. February half term is not fun. We’ve been to France at Easter lots of times and you do have to go a bit higher but it’s been great.

I’d definitely try one holiday. DH can ski, kids can do lessons, you can enjoy the scenery, maybe go to an Austrian spa hotel if that appeals to you.

@ThisOneLife I wish Mumsnet allowed post editing because I've realised my earlier comment was very unfortunately worded.
When I mentioned the social side of skiing, I wasn't talking about networking, social climbing, or meeting the "right" sort of people. In fact, social climbing makes my skin crawl and was probably my biggest hesitation about sending the children to prep school in the first place. Thankfully, almost everyone we've met has turned out to be very normal, grounded and hardworking.

What I meant was the social aspect of joining in with activities that their existing friends already do. A large proportion of our DCs' friendship group ski. DH's view is that if they don't learn when they're young, they may miss out on school ski trips, university trips later on, holidays with friends, or family trips where lots of the children ski together.
Quite a few families we know deliberately book the same resorts and the same weeks so their children can be in ski school together (including two of DD's closest friends), have fun with their friends and have a familiar face alongside them while learning. That's the sort of social aspect I meant, rather than making new contacts or trying to get ahead in life through skiing.

DH still goes away every year with some of his old school friends for a skiing long weekend (and they sometimes take the children too). It's not networking; it's simply something they've enjoyed doing together for decades. It has been a shared experience that has helped maintain their close friendships. He'd like our DCs to have the option of taking part in that sort of thing if they choose to.

His other argument is that if they decide they want to ski later because all their friends are doing it, they will be learning as beginners while everyone else is competent. They may end up getting left behind, or trying to keep up before they're ready and getting injured. Learning young generally makes it easier.
I have never felt disadvantaged by not skiing. I've done perfectly well professionally through being very good at my job and reasonably sociable. None of my close friends ski, nobody at my school skied as far as I can recall, and it was a complete non-issue growing up. Equally, DH's friends couldn't care less that I don't ski and are always lovely, but it does mean I can't join in with every activity. That's absolutely fine as an adult with a career and a well-established friendship group, but it might have felt rather different if I'd been left out of things as a teenager.

My point wasn't that skiing opens doors. It was simply that, in some friendship groups, it's one of the activities people genuinely enjoy doing together, and I can see why DH wouldn't want the children excluded from that if they end up wanting to take part.

However, I need to balance that against my own concerns about injury, particularly when we have two friends who have had horrific injuries, including one life-altering accident.

Although there is a certain irony in the fact that my own back injury came from slipping on ice while playing netball 😂 and DH is fit as a fiddle!

Honestly, if they want to go skiing with the type of friends your dh thinks they'll have later, then it is a bit of a pain if they're a very different level of skier. No-one likes to wait around at the bottom of blue runs when you're a confident red/black skier. Does that make it an essential life skill? No.

It doesn’t really make sense in our household though, DM has also seen the wider consequences of horse riding accidents but I was in the saddle at age 5, DC at age 3!
I know you say you are generally risk adverse but I genuinely think that if it’s something your DH does and loves and wants to share with the children you kind of have to let him. Unless there are issues around recklessness, no one will take better care or precautions introducing a “risk sport” than a parent.

Good tip! Austria sounds like my kind of place it seems. Will also look into Scandinavia too.

Austria is really great with children. Ski passes are free up to 7 years of age and then heavily discounted for older children. A lot of on slope facilities for them as well (more than in Italy for example).

This is very true and perceptive. He is also very understanding about my concerns (which is why he hasn’t made a fuss to date). I do agree with comments on lots of 1:1 ski school for teaching form/technique etc but agree when they are with DH he would be far more cautious than any future uni friends etc.

Apart from going to the indoor ski centre at Milton Keynes, neither of mine have been on a skiing holiday, shown any desire to. I’ve never been skiing either, and don’t particularly want. It’s never affected me socially. .

Bizarrely, do like watching Ski Sunday though.

This is really lovely to read. Thank you. Aside from my safety concerns, it’s nice to view it as a positive holiday for me too. I love our beach holidays, but they are rarely restful for me as I’m always busy having fun with DC ( my book often ends up being decorative). It’s nice to reframe a snowy holiday as a rest break for me.

1st world problem.....!

If her DH had been reading the Chalet School he'd be worrying they'd cross their toes or be injured like Mary-Lou...

Ok that’s mental OP 😂

I have two young kids. They are 100x safer in a ski school than on a beach with an ocean they can drown in.

No kids are flying out of control in ski schools and for young children they have designated zones which are contained and covered in rubber/ inflatable edges.

I have been skiing once when i was kid but I won’t be letting my kids go skiing. I only know one person who can ski and it’s not a social thing.

To me, it’s too high risk. My best friend broke her leg on a mountain and had to be in a full leg cast.

Another thing to consider is place of work. My previous work (a big, well known company) had a policy of not paying sick pay if you injure yourself doing extreme sports including skiing.