Would my children miss out later if they do not learn skiing?

[Pip290]

I don’t particularly like skiing. I have an old back injury and even innocent falls can trigger significant pain. I don’t like the cold, either. Skiing is very expensive, and we could go to a tropical beach, which I love, or explore somewhere adventurous and new instead.
DH loves skiing and snowboarding and feels it’s really important that our DC learn. I imagine DC would enjoy it as they are little sporting adrenaline junkies. However, they also like water sports, which we do on hot holidays.

DH feels it’s important for them to learn because it will be socially important later on. Will it really? He had a very privileged upbringing. However, DC are now also asking why we don’t go skiing as their prep friends do.

I really worry about serious injuries. We know two people who have had skiing injuries that were life-altering, and I know of too many broken collarbones and legs to count. I can’t think of any other activity where this has been the case.

DH feels it’s important they learn young (and friends at a recent weekend away backed him up) as otherwise they will inevitably jet off at uni and do serious damage trying to keep up with friends.

Is skiing important to learn? I don’t want DC to be left out or at higher risk later on. I’ll admit to being somewhat risk-averse. I don’t like adrenaline at all!

Are my concerns about injury overblown? Would DC genuinely be missing out if they didn’t learn? Those of you who didn’t ski growing up, did you feel left out later on?

My niece was excluded from her uni friends skiing holiday because she was the only one who doesn’t ski and they didn’t want to “babysit” her.

I think in certain circles it is expected that you ski.

it’s not really a thing for most people though.

skiing is an absolutely fabulous family holiday though so I don’t understand why you would want to prevent your husband from doing something he enjoys with his kids.

lol no

Honestly - I would say yes , it’s a good thing for kids to learn early . I skied every year from
7 to 30 - then kids and Covid got in the way. So many group holidays at school and as a young adult. Perhaps my background is similar to DHs - kids at private school etc.

My DH has a knee injury and doesn’t want to ski now even though he loves it so I have waited until mine are 10 and 14 . To be honest 14 was late to
learn compared to all their friends. Maybe your DH could take the kids with another family while you have a sunshine holiday ?

I appreciate that your view on this will
depend on background and family earnings .

And the winner of most middle class post goes to…

I hate skiing so my husband always took the children.Not for any other reason apart from the fact they enjoyed it.
Are you socially insecure OP ?

If children want to learn send them with your DH. It is much easier to learn skiing when young. My daughter started just before her 4th birthday.

My husband grew up rich. Almost all of his friends can and do ski. He’d have missed a lot of social stuff if he didn’t.

I grew up anything but rich, and nobody i knew went skiing, so not being able to had zero impact on my social life.

So i think whether it’s important depends on where your kids sit on the privilege and wealth scale.

Edited so I don’t sound like an annoying twat

Socially important? What kind of world does the DH live in?

Sounds like your DH has a touch of “keeping up with the Jones”. Not quite sure what he thinks they will be held back from - I know 2 families that regularly ski, that’s all.
Winter sports holidays are incredibly expensive for what they are, I didn’t ski until I did a uni year out in the Alps.

Honestly, in some circles your children would be in the minority if they don’t ski. The posters who are scoffing at that clearly are not in those circles but it is a reality.

I learnt while at uni but both DC learnt aged 11-16. I was pleased that they learnt fairly young. We have been skiing as a family with friends and both DC have been on school trips. One has also been with friends. I feel glad that they are not restricted from certain opportunities that may come their way.

It’s far easier to learn as a child too. DH was a lot older and found it a lot harder to learn.

DD is going on the school trip (prep school). One of her close friendship group isn’t because she’s never skied before and doesn’t want to go in the beginner group by herself. My nephew has a wonderful new girlfriend who we adore but she can’t ski and when she joined the family holiday we had to plan around her a lot in terms of accommodation and restaurant choices. Happy to do so but not everyone would be.

So potentially yes there’s some truth in what he’s saying even if it’s far, far from an everyday necessity. I also have seen first hand the idiotic out of control teenage boys totally lacking skill, skipping lessons but trying to keep up with experienced mates.

And forget everyone else, if he loves skiing and the kids would likely really enjoy it (and assuming you can afford it of course) then I think it would be unfair to hold them all back from that because it’s not your thing. He could take them solo, or you could go as a family and you do spa, walks etc. whilst they ski.

"DH loves skiing and snowboarding and feels it’s really important that our DC learn. I imagine DC would enjoy it as they are little sporting adrenaline junkies."

If DH loves skiing then it is only natural that he wants the kids to learn so that he can share his enjoyment with them. If they learn at a young age he will at least get to enjoy 2-3 years skiing with them before they get too fast for him to keep up (which can happen around 13-14 years old, if not before).

As for injuries, of course skiing carries a degree of risk. So does rugby, football, hockey, riding a bike or a horse, and generally just being a kid. Modern equipment has reduced the risks considerably and one of the best ways to reduce the risk is for people to learn the correct technique and on-snow behaviour from an early age. As a former travel rep and instructor the typical cases I've seen where people get injured are those who have consumed too much alcohol, people who are tired, unfit or unused to 4-5 hours a day of physical activity, people who overestimate their abilities (or who are encouraged by their friends to attempt a piste that is beyond their capabilities), and people who insist that ski school lessons, proper technique and proper equipment are unnecessary. Kids getting injured in ski school are rare - the instructors take great care of their classes and err on the side of caution and no instructor wants to be on the phone to a parent to tell them that little Johnny has just been carted off to hospital.

We all ski and DH didn’t learn until adulthood. I would say 75% of the families we know ski. I work in the city and my firm even has a company ski trip every year. I know several other people who ski with work people. It really is a thing. So yes I think in some circles it can be socially useful, but certainly not essential. It depends on your social and work circles.

It's just easier to learn well and ski intuitively if you start as a child- much like riding, or other languages.
I didn't ski as a child- we had horses and were tied up in other winter pursuits with them. I started as a adult and know I'll never be very good, although I'm fit, capable and physically brave- jumping stone walls, hedges and ditches isn't for the faint-hearted any more than an icy black run.
My sons started at five and have been lucky enough to ski every year since, including taking lessons until they were 13 . They are completely at home on skis and have told me it's more important to them than our summer holiday. They have good mountain-sense and nothing much to prove so I'm confident to let them go. I feel it's a good life skill for them, and while they might or might not spend the money as young adults, they'll be able to come back to it easily and safely if there's any skiable snow left once they are old enough to afford it for themselves. I worried much more about them playing rugby and was delighted when that stopped at 13.

I think the 'socially important' comment is unfortunately phrased, but it does have an element of truth. At my DS' school it's just assumed that everyone skis. I met a fellow-parent recently who seemed to regard the fact his son (16) and siblings had not been skiing as an issue that had to be disclosed and explained before it was discovered. It was one of the first things he said and repeated through the day. I imagine the boy (a nice kid and good sportsman) will put it right at the first independent opportunity he gets.
Of course skiing isn't necessary or compulsory. Most people never ski at all and don't suffer detriment in later life. But if your DC are surrounded by peers who do ski, and/or are likely to want to ski as adults, it would be easier for them now and in the future, to learn as children.

I wish I’d learnt when I was younger. I started in my late 20s and I’m still not very confident. But it doesn’t stop me going on and enjoying ski holidays and I agree it’s a great family holiday.

The socially important comment is ridiculous though.

It’s not important socially. Agree that’s an awkward phrase and has led to some posters focusing on that. But your DH is totally right when he says they will be safer if they learn as children, if they decide to ski later. I learned late and it’s been slow and expensive to get to a reasonable standard. My kids are amazing in comparison and I’ll never be as good!

In posh private school world yes it's probably important. To the rest of the world no, it's not given a second thought.

I know people who work at pretty run of the mill IT companies who go on a company ski trip every year, not unusual if you work with Europeans. Even the poles and Romanians go skiing.

In certain sectors it’s pretty likely that people will talk about skiing and go skiing together, just like people talk about football.

Ive never done it and ive not missed out on anything because of it.

Locally all the prep schools, state secondaries and sixth forms do ski trips. I don't think it is socially essential on any level though. DS was briefly at a prep school and the weekly newsletter reported back on the ski trip stating that it had all passed off without any serious injury. I can't remember if it was a arm or a leg that someone broke 😳 but that level of cavalier attitude would have put me off completely if DS had shown any interest in going

I learnt as a child (grew up near ski fields) and I have never been skiing since secondary. My dp isn't that bothered, my friend group can't ski, and it is so bloody expensive these days I can't justify the cost as I would rather spend my money elsewhere.

So even if you teach them (and spend a fortune in the process) it's no guarantee they will utilize those skills as a teen/adult.

Used to love it.

The local private school often declares "Hooray! No norovirus and no broken bones on this years ski trip"

😅

That’s really really not accurate.

It’s the best holiday ever. We have been taking our five every year from when they could carry their own skis ( that was the criterion for us 😂😂) .
Of course it’s not ‘socially important’ . Unless you are royalty !!! Regardless , you can learn to ski in one week and be whizzing down blues by the end of it so it’s not like anyone needs years to learn .
However , it sounds like your kids would love it and be good at it ( you need a bit of nerve !!) . So let them off. Stop letting your back injury and negative attitude preclude your kids from something amazing ! My eldest is 23 and we still all ski together and will every year for as long as we can .
I just don’t understand why you have to go ! Let them off to enjoy .

We are a skiing family after DH and I learnt just after university.

We’re not posh. Both state educated, as our are kids. The key thing is that we enjoy it and it’s a great thing to do together. We have to make a choice between skiing holidays and sunny holidays.

it’s definitely easier to learn as a child. I would recommend a family focused company to get gong with - ski famille or family ski company come highly recommended

Edited to say that we know of more netball, rugby and cycling injuries than skiing.