Those with young kids - are holidays a nightmare for you too?

[Solsticestar1]

Just back from family holiday with 3yr old and 9m old and omg it’s hard. The number of times I asked my DH to F off…. The number of times I questioned my life choices. Please tell me it’s normal and will get better. I have never been through anything more mentally and physically challenging as this.

The flight was brutal

I've not got two so fair play to you, but I went to Europe to visit family last week with our two yr old and whilenhes a dream on the actual travelling, he got ill while there so barely ate, refused to bathe, barely slept and was intensely whingy and hard work. I got ill too and then we missed our flight home due to added security protocols despite being atnthe airport 3 hrs in advance. A bloody exhausting trip and not a holiday 😅 I'll save it for when he's older and stick to UK for a while I think.

It's pretty standard that instagram versus reality happens on hols with toddlers and babies, my cousins looked like they had the most beautiful gorgeous all inclusive on insta with the kids, when i asked how it was i had the true, hellish story 😂

The youngest I think I'd do an abroad holiday with a little one is around 3 yrs old - that's what we did at least without our little girl and it was lovely. We also did another abroad holiday last year when she was 5 and again, had a good time (although not exactly relaxing!) Nightly discos were a thing!
I do have two other kids but they are older older so don't come on abroad holidays with us as happier doing their own thing with mates etc.
What hubby and I do is share the care so he has at least one morning to go and do his thing child-free (usually walking/hiking) and then I have a morning (doing nothing - just chilling by the pool with a good book!)
I don't think an abroad holiday with a baby or young toddler would be fun but each to their own.
This year hubby and I are going on a short abroad holiday in term-time and leaving the little one with grandparents so it will be absolutely wonderful to have some decent quality time together and eat a meal at a leisurely pace. Can't wait! Although we are bound to miss her loads, of course! ❤️

hey mum of 2 here. Mine are 10 ( literally 11) and 4 year old. The age gap is ridiculous but the second one was a total surprise an so didn’t know until I was 10 weeks.
Anyway, just want to say, hang in there mamma.
it gets easier as they become more independent butttttt the fighting and bickering will never end. That goes for kid and between you ans your DH 😂😂😂.
The little craps will make you contemplate your life choices and introduce the monster in your that you never knew you had.
Dont put them together on a plane journey if you want to keep your sanity. Have one next to you and one next to dad.
Choose your battles and learn to ignore the noise around you.

Yes. It's standard. It's also hard because you remember what holidays used to be like - you know, selfish & relaxing - and now it's just shifting your work to another address.

Don't believe social media, either. They're posed snaps in time. They lie.

I had to let go of my old adventurous ways & accept our holidays would be limited. We drove, not flew to closer locations and got better accommodation with facilities to make our lives easier.

I have always loved holidays with my DC. The first one was a bit of a shock to the system - not enough lying around reading my book time, but I still enjoyed it. What worked for us was self-catering and driving ourselves (usually went to France) so we could take loads of their usual toys. We also had a house with a garden when they were little but no pool to worry about. Lots of beach days building sandcastles etc. I realise that's not everyone's idea of a good holiday but I can't think of any holiday with my DC I haven't enjoyed. Although 10 days in a caravan on a rainy Isle of Wight wasn't the most successful of them.

We went to Center Parcs recently with our teens, haven’t been since they were toddlers and I literally turned around to DH and said “this is SO much more fun with older kids!”. Don’t worry OP, it’s not forever, more fun days are ahead! (And you don’t have to wait till they’re teens we’ve enjoyed holidays with them since 5+ but this particular holiday caused a realisation due to the age gap in going!)

Used to drive to France with 6 many moons ago. Hard work but def worth it. ..
Stuck to UK caravan parks with the younger dc as now dh won't drive abroad.

What did you find so stressful about it?

I’ll be honest, I haven’t really found this. It’s very different of course, and the odd difficult moment, but not in the ‘not worth doing’ box.

My DH does test me at times though - usually making insane suggestions like ‘I’d really like to go whitewater rafting this week’, forgetting the presence of two small children.

We always take grandparents with us to help with childcare😂 That way we can have some time together as a couple. I find self catering easier than hotels, we always rent a villa with a garden.

Not at all. I loved holidays with my DS when he was young and look back with the fondest memories. The first couple of years was a bit tricky at meal times but other than that I loved every minute.

I’ve got one (and one on the way) - holidays abroad are a complete no no for me atm 😅. I think I’ve got about three years before I attempt it!

Hmmm not for me
been away with both since really little heaps of times and yes it’s harder than when I travelled alone pre kids

ive taken the older one to japan and all over South America

then when the baby was 4 months spent maternity travelling Asia

i think cus there’s no work, cooking and laundry and house and life admin to do - then all that’s involved is doing fun stuff with my kids

we Always had 2 buggies so they could sleep whenever - drop the routine and let them stay up late with us so we can go out in evenings - many nights they’d both fall asleep in buggies after dinner an we’d be able to stop off for drinks at a bar and sit outside

loads of times it was mental kids going crazy but hey your still away and they’d do the same at home

i see flights as just one bad day then it’s over and it was worth it

the Thailand flights was a full 25 hours travel yikes it was a long one but we got through it and it wasn’t the worst 🤣.

what parts did you not like and what kind of trip was it.

I find package holiday / resort types the worst tbh too boring and not relaxing anyway with kids - I prefer things like ceterparcs or being at a beach with options to go to national parks or more outdoorsy type things! Or cities

but everyone’s diff

Drive to villa with garden and with grandparents (who think we are doing them a favour to let them come).

I think it depends on your holiday expectations, we went on a AI holiday when mine were a similar age and while it wasn’t a barrel of laughs it wasn’t as bad as it could have been, but we do like to go out and about so hired a car and went and did things every day, youngest was also an on the go napper so would happily have his naps in the car or buggy, evening meals were difficult as due to timings one or both were either over tired or over hungry most nights so we had to tag team eating

we did a self catering holiday (eurocamp) when eldest was 4 and youngest was 18m this was much easier as we were in control of meal time much more

by 5 and 2 we did a 2 and a half week motorhome road trip

I think if you like to sit and relax in the sun on holiday, holidays are more stressful with small children due to not having your own stuff and having to watch kids more carefully, I think if you do out and about doing things holidays it’s probably easier as it’s more like doing a day trip somewhere form home

You have to tailor your expectations and activities to your children. When ours were little we spent at least one holiday week at Butlins - short drive and masses of things for little ones to do. They have so many great memories of those holidays and although it wasn’t exactly relaxing for us, it was lovely to see them enjoying themselves so much.

I only have one but we travelled with her since she was 4 months old. I have never found it hard work. No long haul, always self catering with a separate room so she could be put to bed. Adapt to their needs. We did stuff in the morning, long lunch, nap, bit more stuff, bath, walk about, dinner, bed, drinks on a balcony. Took it turns to swim or build sand castles etc. Kids club when old enough. Did a lot of Eurocamp and gites etc. Have many fond memories. AI and buffet would never have worked. You can never expect to have pre-child type holidays.

I took books ( plural ) on my first holiday with DS ! Every time I think back to it it makes me laugh at my naivety . He never slept as well so that along with the heat made for an heady stress cocktail. It’s brutal and even now he’s older still a far cry from pre child days. It does get better though I’ve yet to go on a “ holiday”, more different scenario than a rest!

I’ve loved all of our holidays. I find it much easier being away, so much to do and explore. I might be in the minority, but I’ve always found them very relaxing - I’ve never had a UK holiday though, I don’t think I’d find that relaxing at all!!

Thank you all for your replies. I feel more normal now and less of a monster.

For context, we did canaries AI. The flight was lonnnnggg. My 3 yr old is a jumpy jack live wire who never sits still. Our angel of a baby had a cold so he wasn’t the happiest on the flight, hated meal times and at times, hated car rides too. He loved the heated pool though. Don’t get me wrong - we have made lovely memories and our 3 year old had so much fun but there were times when I was tearful, mainly when 3 yr old is stubborn for no reason or when baby cried at meal times.

Did Mauritius with an 18 month old - great. (Hired a nanny out there super cheap)

did Mexico with a 2 yo and pregannt - great

canaries with 2 yo, 4 yo and pregnant. AI and loved it

did eurocamp chalet with a 1 yo and 4 yo. Great. Repeated with a 5 yo 2 yo and newborn!

centre parcs with a 5 yo 2 yo and baby. Also recommend!!

We went when we had one 20 month old, then only did places by car like Eurodisney and Eurocamps once the youngest was about 8. We just used to do UK cottage holidays as way less stressful!

@MissAmbrosia adapting to their needs is all we do 😂 I think that’s what I find hard? Interesting you couldn’t do AI. I can’t do self catering - I cba buying food, cooking, cleaninf etc.

@Riverflow6 thanks for the recommendations. I think those age ranges work better when holidaying than ours at 9m and 3yrs

I actually enjoyed the holidays we took when ours were small, was a while ago now. We travelled a lot when we didn't have any kids, and just continued to travel to places that appealed to us once they came along. We mix in a bit of pool and beach time, but it's almost never the only thing we do on holiday, the holidays were for parents too.

We take ours on one annual holiday a year. One week. My nerves and energy levels can’t take any more.

It’s lovely to see him have so much fun, and be so interested in everything, but my word is it tiring. The sleep is non-existent, getting him to eat anything apart from snacks is.. a challenge, and the inevitable tired meltdowns are just not it. Worth it still, but still a world away from anything that resembles a child free holiday!

This year’s week exhaustathon is in August, and then we’ve got a grown ups only holiday in September that I do not feel guilty about and will require. 😂

@SleeplessInWherever agree it is just soooo intense. It is lovely experiencing the holiday through their excitement etc but it
is full on. My holiday starts now back home 😂

Have a lovely time! September adult holiday will be fab!