Those with young kids - are holidays a nightmare for you too?

[Solsticestar1]

Just back from family holiday with 3yr old and 9m old and omg it’s hard. The number of times I asked my DH to F off…. The number of times I questioned my life choices. Please tell me it’s normal and will get better. I have never been through anything more mentally and physically challenging as this.

The flight was brutal

Never heard of climate change....

When mine were small holidays were waaaay worse than just staying at home and going to work. I promise it does get better. Mine are 10 and 12 now and I’m really looking forward to our summer holiday this year.

I would do everything you can to keep holidays as stress free as possible while they are so small.

We do all inclusive and find a resort that has everything we need. No need to worry about kids entertainment as there is always something on each day and choice of food helps with my picky eaters.
Like someone posted above, the main issue is the plane journey. So accepting it as a bad day means your expectations are low and can only get a little better if your little humans decide not to fight or have a tantrum.
I have a new issue now - my 4 year old is so picky about what she wants to wear and going through a phase where her arms and legs need to be covered at all time 😵‍💫
Lord give me strength

We go on several holidays a year and we enjoy it. I find it's less stressful than everyday life as DH is always around to help, instead of being at work part of the time. We don't find long flights difficult, we just allow unlimited screen time, bring sticker books, toys etc. I'm a sahm so I'm used to the intensity of entertaining them constantly. We do Eurocamp, theme parks, city breaks, quite active holidays with lots to keep everyone interested. We live in London and are used to a busy pace of life. Sleep has never been an issue as I did extended bf which always settled younger dcs. We've been going on overseas holidays since eldest was 11 months.

We only have one, who’s now a young adult, but our holidays were UK only, and frequently Center Parcs until he was 8. I’m firmly of the view kids shouldn’t go on planes until they can reliably sit quietly, still and follow instructions. (Excepting family visits ofc)
Both H and I find life pretty stressful and I think an abroad holiday with a young child would have been bad for everyone as we would have resented the “same shit different place” dynamic. I definitely advise not going on holiday, and certainly abroad, just because you feel it’s the done thing. Particularly with the current cost of holidays!

I was really surprised recently while in holiday in Barbados to see so many people on holiday with tiny babies of 3-6 months. A few with a baby and a toddler. I can't imagine doing that, it just strikes me as so stressful. I saw one couple with 6 children, one a newborn!

Our holidays have always been fine but they are either holidays with my parents so have extra grandparent help or just a few days in a cottage so not enough time for things to go wrong really. I fly alone with the kids most of the time and that can be difficult but was only really bad once, when DD hadn't gotten over her ear infection like I thought she had.

Though there was the time we got lost driving in Lapland in a big campervan and found ourselves on a forest track that was getting narrower and narrower. That might have ended in tears but luckily saw another car with locals in and asked for directions, but an 8 hour trip ended up taking 13 hours. DD (3 at the time) was an absolute dream though, surprisingly.

Yep. Under one fine over 4 fine. I point blank refuse to go on holiday with toddlers ever again absolute nightmare I'd rather stay at home

Maybe some children travel better than others.

I was just thinking about my own daughter who has just turned 4.

We've taken her on holidays in Europe (Greece, Italy), the US when she was 21 months, she's been camping 15 times, numerous UK trips such as Cornwall, Devon, New Forest, Lake District, Jurassic Coast to name a few and we have recently spent a month in Thailand.

If I thought it was hard I wouldn't do it. Admittedly we only have 1 but she sleeps well anywhere, gets over jetlag better than me and just generally loves travelling and exploring. She is so brave and I am proud of her.

Future trips for this year include Cornwall, Lake District, Peak District camping, Eurocamp in France

Mine are adults who love to travel and we have taken them all over the world and had a great time. But the camping trip with them aged 9m and 3 20 uears ago nearly broke me ( yes we took useless) grandparents, it was unrelenting. The following year aged 2 & 4 was soo mich better and once you are free of nappies it gets better again ! Hang in there.

I think that’s a particularly tough age OP! We have the same age gap, did a self catered Canaries trip when my youngest was 3 months with all of DH’s lovely helpful family, and then same again at 15 months (eldest 4) and both trips were still extremely hard going even with help. There’s no sitting down, just shift work. I still loved it, but we agreed we wouldn’t do the airport without family help for a couple of years (we have too much stuff to carry!) and I refuse to do any holiday where we’re all sleeping in one room!

We did centerparcs in between those two trips (baby 9 months) and that was actually pretty ok, but we were too cramped up in the lodge, and all the usual jobs like messy mealtimes with a baby are harder without your own kitchen. We’re doing it again this summer but going for less time and spending more on bigger accommodation. It seemed the only way it was worth it!

It depends what you want from a holiday and the kids. We never were relax by the pool people so haven't lost that as I can't see how to recreate that with kids.

Our toddler travels well though we don't fly.

Holidays are definitely different but we still manage to visit new cities, go hiking, camping etc. I love seeing her face in new places and watching her explore.

You have one toddler ? Respectfully that is a walk in the park compared to a 9m old and 3yo. We had a wonderful trip to Italy with one 18 mo old.

Oh bore off.

Hated holidays when ds was tiny. We didn’t have any money so we were lucky to have holidays at all (went away with in-laws) but that made it worse - like I had to be grateful for the misery!! Accommodation always badly chosen by grandparents who’d forgotten what small children were like, travel itself bloody awful, same shit different location. Sudden improvement when we started going camping, especially with groups of friends. I have good memories of that - always something to do but nothing important, clutches of kids bouncing around together, lightly pissed a lot of the time, all going to bed together around 10. Incredibly tiring but also genuinely relaxing.

Yes, holidays with children that age are really bloody hard. Only way to get a break is if someone else (DH, a helpful grandparent) takes them both for a couple of hours.

Travelling with one child is not comparable, surprised to see people commenting about travelling with one toddler as if it is. It’s not the same at all.

Have you tried Center Parcs, either in the UK or Northern Europe so not too far to drive? It’s a Mumsnet cliche I know but a Center Parcs holiday is pretty easy and relaxing if you need a break.

Get through the next few years of holidays as best you can. If your budget can stretch to it Nielsens or similar activity holidays with excellent kids clubs are a treat.

Mine are 6, 11 and 13 now and holidays are fun again: Lapland, road trip to Venice, skiing in the Alps, Thailand in the last couple of years. Yours will be fun again too.

We didn’t fly until dd2 was nearly 4. Far too stressful. Plus I’ve frequently had flights go wrong and been stuck for hours can’t imagine that with toddler and baby. Plus it’s childcare when you get there.

We drove to Devon / Wales when they were tiny. One year with a baby and toddler we left them with my parents and spent 2 nights in gorgeous posh hotel 40 mins drive away. Would recommend..

We did one when DD was 18 months ( in UK) and it was so awful we didn't go away again for years. Didn't go abroad for even longer. So yeah yanbu but perhaps you were bu going so far with a baby!

Primary years are the best. Then they get stroppy again around 13/14 then back to lovely 16 plus.

Frankly holidays with pre schoolers are quite futile they don’t care where they are and may actively dislike heat and won’t remember and you end up running round after them in stressful unfamiliar place

Honestly this isn’t something I’ve experienced, but I do see people saying it here frequently.

Ours are 4 & 2 and we’ve had a mix of lovely abroad holidays and a bunch of staycations. It’s been great, DH and I don’t fight, the kids have had the best time, and it’s felt like really special time together.

Do you not spend the much time as a 4 at home?

I don’t understand why being in a different place would suddenly change the dynamic to this degree.

My family are abroad so I’ve had to fly with the youngest and then the two together fairly regularly on my own, so I’m not sure if that comes into it.

On a staycation we tend to just do things together the entire 2/3 days. For a sun holiday we might alternate who naps with the kids, or give eachother a daily drink in peace by the pool while the other plays with the kids.

I only have experience travelling with one child so can't comment if 2 is harder or not. Everyone tells me it is so much easier though as they play together!

My experience with one toddler who had no one to play with is that it was easy and we all had a blast so based on that having 2 would be double the fun and enjoyment😊 not harder.

How on earth can you say your experience of having one means you think two would be easier not harder 😂
There is literally no logic in what you’re saying.

Er, not always no!

I'm happy with one but everyone tells me how much easier two are, you just leave them to it. Are you telling me these people are lying to me? Why are they putting this pressure on or is it a case of misery loves company?

I'm just going off what people with two tell me all the time! They will naturally know better than me as they are living it and that's the advice I always get!

I’ve honestly never heard anyone say having another baby is then easier than just having one child.