Those with young kids - are holidays a nightmare for you too?

[Solsticestar1]

Just back from family holiday with 3yr old and 9m old and omg it’s hard. The number of times I asked my DH to F off…. The number of times I questioned my life choices. Please tell me it’s normal and will get better. I have never been through anything more mentally and physically challenging as this.

The flight was brutal

😂😂😂

Trust me having 2 is not twice the joy when they are constantly crying, or not eating, no sleeping, fighting which then turning into bickering.

As we have to travel abroad to see our family, we managed from five months onwards and feel it is absolutely doable with lots of adjustments and very reduced expectations.

We never did hotels until DD was seven, she was an early riser and I just didn't want the chaos of a awake child, no restaurant open, nothing to do in a hotel room so we always did self catering and adjusted our days to her schedule.

Also, even before DD was born, we were never really the fly and flop holiday people, we always did mainly self catering, day trips and activities. We just took DD and kept on doing the same things.

Are they like that at home or just on holiday?

Mine aren’t like that - so maybe that’s why some of us find holidays with kids enjoyable!

@goz congratulations. You sound like you have the perfect family 😁

PS in my original post I was after similar experiences to make me feel normal? I honestly don’t care if your kids are angels and are perfectly holiday proof 😂

@Thickasabrick89 it might get easier eventually but atm i cant leave a baby and a toddler ‘to it’. We’d be regulars at our local a&e if that were the case

Agreed - went on a UK holiday (camping) with friends of all ages last year. The couple with a 12& 10 year had a very different holiday to us and our two year old! They could sit back and have a few drinks while they played football. I was walking around the campsite with the buggy at 5am to stop him screaming and waking everyone else up 😂

I did a week in wales with 4 dc aged 8, 5, 2 and newborn. Booked before I was pregnant. Was extremely hard and I spent most of it in cafes etc feeding the baby.

No. We travel a lot, and the age you describe was actually my absolute favourite.

I think I find it easy because I’m quite strict at home. We never use tablets, phones, or YouTube. My kids watch TV (CBeebies), but they can’t choose what to watch. They eat very healthy food, and I really limit junk food and sweets.

So when we go on holiday, everything goes. My 4-year-old gets a tablet and headphones on the plane with snacks, and we don’t hear a sound from her.
Same in the hotel: the buffet, constant juices, and snacks keep them very happy.

I think the problem today (not sure if this applies to you) is that most parents raise their kids like it’s a holiday every day, so it’s not special for them anymore when they actually go on one.

I’ve loved all our family holidays. We are very careful though - we have never just done a half board hotel to avoid boredom - usually we self cater and make sure we travel around a bit.

When the kids were tiny the DPiL came too - we still vacation together regularly. We are lucky they are wonderful and I appreciate them so much on holiday - four adults definitely better than two!

Yes, absolutely hideous. I have a big age gap between my first and my youngest two and I used to love going away with DS. He was so well behaved. Then I had my second two and holidays are so difficult, especially with my very defiant and independent nearly 4 year old. I leave more tired than I went. My new found hack is to go away with my parents too, and enjoy the moments they offer to babysit so DH and I can actually relax

@blankcanvas3 How big an age gap? Is your eldest old enough to leave at home? My 18 yo most definitely wouldn't be interested in an abroad holiday to a little-one friendly destination with his 5 yo sister!

You have 1 4 year old ? Or did you not mention another child ? I agree caring for a single 4 year old is very relaxing.

No we love travelling with our 2. Smaller age gap than yours and since the youngest was 5 months old. You need to work together when they are that young. Divide and conquer, take it in turns to go back to the room for the afternoons etc. Telling each other to fuck off wont help ease the tension!

Literally mentions kids. Plural.

Why are people so offended that some parents enjoy holidays with kids rather than the whole “Mama it’s hell, soooo exhausting” shite?

No hotels before they are about 4. Self catering. Found a lovely gite in France with other families on site. Gated pool. Kids had great time, and us parents could have a glass of wine once we had put them
to bed! Still friends with the people we met 15 years later.
Divide and conquer and we used to enforce a lunchtime ‘rest’ so they watched a film or something. Take each day as it comes and don’t try to do too much.
Just try not to force any rules on flights. My ds loved his no rules trip to Oz!
it does get easier. In fact as they grow older it’s a time to actually spend time together and they get independent and make friends as they get older. You’ll then get upset when they say we are off to the pool/beach/water slides with x.
Also as they get even older try and holiday with friends.

I found the opposite! Hotels are largely the thing that makes it like a holiday!
No making breakfast, no washing up, no cleaning crumbs from all over the place.
A hotel breakfast, lunch by the pool or the beach, ice cream snack and out for dinner and drinks takes away so much of the normal labour 😂

@goz totally agree. Hotels all the way. We stay at Airbnbs when we go for staycations and I have to think about what to eat, cook, clean and tidy. No thanks.

@Historian0111101000 guess what? We also travel a lot (assuming x5 a year is a lot), I am also strict with screentime, juice, chocolate etc when we are at home and let loose on holiday. But my toddler happens to be too much of a toddler and on the 4th hour of a 5hour flight simply has enough of his tablet and chocolate eggs as he needs to move about. Yours wouldn’t do this? Then you are lucky but your opinion that you are generally strict and that is why you have a great holiday is not founded on any universal truth

Yes it’s a nightmare, that’s why we go abroad without them. We take them on holidays in Scotland and take them camping, but I don’t see much point in taking a 6, 5 (only just) year old and an 11 month old abroad. Once they’re older it will be great but right now it just seems like a stressful waste of money, maybe I’m a bad parent but taking them abroad would be a nightmare.

We have taken them to Ireland with my brother, his kids (17-5 in age), my parents, and some extended family and that was okay. I would be willing to do that again for sure, but we kind of just communally looked after the kids.

But if hotels aren’t relaxing then it’s not a holiday either. You might not be cooking and but fixed dinner times, working out buffet logistics, sitting in the room once they go to bed, nap time logistics, looking longingly at all the other families enjoying their glass of wine, your kids refusing to go to the kids club you carefully chose.
(we did one when kids were 4 and and didn’t bother again for a few years).
Just have to accept it’s not as good as the pre kids era, it gets better and is actually fun, and now we are heading into the no kids era what the hell are we going to talk about 😂!

Yep. Fucking hate it. Awful.

same shit, different location, much harder work

8 and 5 now and it hasn’t really got any better. We’ve stopped going away as much, and I take separate long weekends with my friends to get an actual trip in

i’m hoping the teen years will be better

Incidentally I think AI would work well for mine now at 5 and 8, but then both have severe food allergies so way too stressful for me. Can’t face it.

How it works for us is that I am with the baby and my husband is with the older one. I don’t feel it’s too much to entertain them when you have one adult for each child. If we had three or four, it would be a different scenario.

Yes, she might get bored of the tablet and snacks, but then we bring out colouring, books, or other entertainment. We also make sure they get up and move around before landing.

I’m not saying they can’t get bored of the treats, but the fact that they can sit for four hours straight is the result of that kind of parenting. Most toddlers wouldn’t last 30 minutes!

Thank you! Yes, it is hard work, but I have never thought it was annoying. Every time I mention to someone that we went and enjoyed it, they look surprised.

Guess what: you can actually enjoy time with your family. Two adults, two kids. If both parents are engaged, you shouldn’t feel outnumbered.

It’s weird that we live in times where if you don’t struggle, people don’t believe you or think you’re pretending to be perfect. I’m not. I just doing my best and enjoy myself.