On cruise and kids so ungrateful and bored

[Fishnchips22]

On our first ever week long cruise, ship is amazing, loads to do. Family of four, kids are 19 and 12. They’ve enjoyed some
of it but now can’t be bothered to get up in the morning, spend loads of time on phones, haven’t done the pool/slides etc. DH pretty lazy too, so unless I organise stuff we don’t do anything. I’m so frustrated, last day today and I’m off doing my own thing cos they can’t be bothered. I’m just so fed up, it was a very expensive holiday and I’ve had a crap year with losing a parent and just wanted some lovely family time. My 12 year old DD just can’t be bothered, despite being blown away by the ship when we first boarded. I went to a show last night on my own as none of them fancied it. And just had lunch on my own as they were still in bFeel like holidaying on my own in future and saving my money! I just feel they’re so ungrateful. Does anyone else have this?

Taking a phone off a 19 year old because mum is having a strop and wants them to enjoy the holiday in the way she thinks is right. 😂

Mumsnet is a funny place, where children should be doing their own washing by age 10 but still having their phone use controlled by mum at 19. Wild!

There's a world of difference between wanting a lie-in and some time on your phone when on holiday, and having bad manners.

I understand that the OP is upset that her kids don't seem to be making the most of their holiday, and want different things from her. But that, unfortunately, is life on holiday with teens. There's a reason that many teens don't go on holiday with their parents - they outgrow it, and enjoy different things from their parents.

As long as they are spending some time together (even if it's only dinner in the evening, and perhaps shore time during the day) then it seems unreasonable that the OP is insisting that the holiday is spent the way she wants it to be spent.

Why should that make any difference to my opinion?

@CurlyhairedAssassin

There is no way I'd be happy with having lunch on my own on holiday if my husband was too lazy or grumpy to be up in time to come with me. What is he getting out of the holiday that he couldn't have got either somewhere much cheaper, or by staying at home?

I imagine that’s exactly what he’s thinking. I would.

You have clearly never been on a Royal Caribbean cruise then. I took my teenagers and it turned out to be a fabulous holiday; loads for them to do with other teenagers.
They wanted to go every year after that and still want to come with us now they are in their 20’s.

Mine absolutely loved it, their favourite holiday. I world go as far as to say it’s one of the best holidays to do with teens. We did celebrity

Did you buy the WiFi package? If so, then can’t complain they’re tempted by their phones….

Have the holiday you want and they can have the holiday they want.

Nothing wrong with a lie-in during a holiday.

My partner and I are like Stadler and Waldorf from the muppets when cruise adverts come on tv and make disparaging comments. Blackpool at sea and the Bibby Stockholm come to mind. Everyone to their own thing but sorry to hear that your family aren’t very enthusiastic.

At least you know now. Next year plan your own trip away and leave them at home. You will come back feeling refreshed and they have Been able to use the home wifi all week.

I would just let them do their thing and try not to take it personally or assume it means they aren’t grateful or enjoying themselves. You say they’ve enjoyed some stuff and been impressed with the ship, I’d take that as a win. Teenagers are creatures of habit and seem to need more sleep than adults, plus they are on holiday! Presumably if they are sleeping so late they must be up late enjoying some stuff at night? That’s not so bad. And you get some time to yourself. Where is the cruise? Have they at least come on an excursion or two off the boat?
I think you need to lower your expectations.

I think you've just saved me from doing the same thing. I was really tempted to book a cruise with my kids and I just realised after reading your post this would be exactly what they would be like. I really feel for you. Hope you can get as much as you can out of it and just leave them to whatever they want to do! ❤️

Lol really? Have you surveyed all 19 year olds in the world then? Or just based this on your own kids? My DD is almost 21 & DS almost 17 & we're planning a weeks' long Norway cruise for 2026. We do tons together as a family - city breaks, film nights and play tons of boardgames. So I'm with OP on this - I would feel annoyed at my family's reaction to an expensive special holiday - they could make an effort for their Mum just like we all have to show interest in our kids' hobbies when often we'd rather be at home in bed ourselves! If my DH behaved like this I'd be pissed off & I'd feel very disappointed in my kids too.

Sorry you're feeling sad about the holiday OP.

I can understand your kids wanting to lie in and sit on their phones etc - yes, it comes across as ungrateful and possibly ill mannered but I think it's fairly normal behavior with kids these days (especially your 12 year old). Your 19 year old probably should have just stayed at home!

In an ideal world they absolutely should be grateful for being taken on holiday and being given these new opportunities and experiences but, as you can see by some of the replies on this thread, that's not the current accepted view which is why we're going to get an entire generation of spoilt, entitled, ungrateful, bad mannered and lazy humans unfortunately.

I'd be more bothered by your husband than your kids to be honest though. They are taking their cues off him and I'd be really upset if my husband couldn't be bothered to do anything with me or join me for meals on our holiday!

Next time I'd go solo or have a girls holiday with my friends instead.

That’s not how cruises are any more. Very outdated opinion. They’re a popular family holiday choice these days and many ships are aimed at that market.

Not really selling your personalities are you? And yet you’ve never tried one.

If we did it would be one of the “no casinos” and “no children” ones, but we’re not old enough for that yet.

For me, everyone should enjoy their holiday their way.

I'd quite happily occupy myself during the day but insist we all eat together and do something in the evenings so we'd have some shared holiday memories.

You might actually be surprised....

My ex and I (30's) did a Caribbean cruise a few years ago and deliberately picked a smaller ship with half the facilities some of these floating cities have. We paid extra for a balcony suite so we could be very antisocial and intended to use the ship more as a form of transport to see lots of different islands as opposed to participating in anything too 'cruise-y'.

No casino, didn't go to any shows or captains dinner, didn't go in the horrendously crowded pool etc as none of that is my scene but i did actually really enjoy waking up in a new place each day, sipping coffee on the balcony as we sailed into a new port and some of the bars and restaurants were really good! Also loved the island hopping without the packing and unpacking.

I came away with a very different idea about cruises and would definitely go on another as you can tailor it to how you want it to be. There were all ages on it as well..... previously I'd only associated cruises with older people like my grandparents!

Oh there’s no age limit for cruises. You don’t see many OAPs on the rock climbing walls, dodgems or zip lines, after all. And the casinos are very easy to avoid. They only take up half a deck, when most resort ships have at least 21 decks to go at. Something for everyone in a cruise.

meant to say still in bed today at 11.30

So what, though? They're on holiday. Why do they have to be up and about doing the things you've decided they ought to enjoy? They'd do them if they felt like it, but they apparently don't. They're not stopping you from doing anything you want to do.

There really isn't 'something for everyone on a cruise'.

If you and your family like cruises, then great - carry on enjoying them. But that doesn't mean they're a good choice for every family, any more than my choice of holiday would necessarily be a good choice for you.

U chose a holiday that retired people enjoy then are shocked the kids rnt enjoying it!

What an ignorant comment

Skybluepinky · Today 15:39
U chose a holiday that retired people enjoy then are shocked the kids rnt enjoying it!

Good one😆😆😆😆😆😆😆I take it you haven’t cruised recently?

You have a right to feel fed up. They are entitled to have a lie in and chose what they want to do in general but they should be making an effort some of the time with you. Your husband is setting a poor example to them IMO. I have ungrateful teens and it’s a really hard phase they go through. I’ve stopped spending the money on them until they mature a bit!