Husband and Bloody Holidays!

[PotatoPudding]

DH hates spending money on holidays because, unless it’s food, he thinks it’s a waste to spend money on things you can’t keep. He’s also a massive snob. He was fine to go on holidays when I was able to pay for them, though.

His dad lives in Florida (not a cool part) and his sister lives in Spain (a really boring, small town) where there’s nothing for me
or DS 5 to do. DH just spends time catching up with his family while we are stuck indoors (in Florida) with nowhere to go (there are no paths and it’s miles to anywhere).

He refuses to go to a resort because he thinks only poor people go to resorts. I found a lovely week-long Norwegian cruise for £700pp but he doesn’t see the point without the extra package for more restaurants we won’t eat in, which is another £300 per person. He’s therefore saying £3000 for one week is too expensive.

I don’t want to go self-catering because I want a bloody holiday with coffee being poured for me and no dishes to clear up.

I am open to all suggestions home
and away.

However, please don’t bother commenting if it’s just to criticise my husband or my marriage; I know he’s an arse. I want good holiday suggestions.

@PinkPondQueen
These look lovely. Thank you.

Oh I totally forgot about this one. Absolutely gorgeous, we stayed a couple of nights on a road trip around Sicily when we couldn't find a nice Airbnb in the area. Again we had a car but transfers from Catania to Taormina are simple enough then you can get a taxi or bus up into Castelmola. The breakfast was good and the hotel has gorgeous views of Mount Etna. We splashed out on a suite so we had a balcony with a view of Etna but there are cheaper rooms. Plenty of nice restaurants nearby or the bus stop is right outside which takes you down into Taormina in about 10 minutes. From there you can take the cable-car down to the beautiful beaches at Mazzaro and Isola Bella.

https://www.hotelvillasonia.com/en/hotel-for-holiday-relax-sicily

@PinkPondQueen
Thank you. That’s absolutely stunning.

TBH if you’re going to be fully qualified and earning well within 2 years, I would just park the issue of holidays until you are earning enough to be financially independent. Your H is using this issue to control/ punish you for not being a high earner.

Let him take DS to visit his family, you stay home and study (it’s clearly not a holiday for you anyway).If you can afford it, have a night away in a hotel yourself. Or DH goes by himself and you take DS to a family theme park .

Would your DH consider family friendly UK mini breaks to places that your child would enjoy (Alton Towers/ Legoland / Zoos etc) ? At this point it needs to be fun for your son. If you are biding your time until independence, just hold your horses for now.

I know this isn't the purpose of this thread but your husband sounds like a horrible, selfish arse!
Good luck to qualifying and working towards a better, happier life for you and your DS

@Inertia
Thank you for your words of support. I would be shooting my future in the foot if I did anything now. I can wait and make sure I do everything right.

I am fortunate to live within an hour of 3 zoos, so we do have lots of lovely days out. I have suggested Legoland to my son but he’s asked about Stonehenge instead. I guess I should see what’s near there.

I feel your pain, when it comes to holidays my OH is completely out of touch !
I kid you not he thinks that a two week family holiday abroad should cost less than £500 quid !! I live in the real world and budget around 3k ish
Every year it’s the same battle… that goes like this:
1: I sort where we want to go and say it costs this much
2: He proceeds to embark of at least a couple of days ranting at how ridiculous the cost is and that he could buy a car for the same price😂..
3: On day 3/4 he begrudging agrees to it, whilst grumbling that his first car cost less than this holiday 🤣
Then the best bit is that each year without fail he says it’s best holiday he has ever had😆

@OhFortheLoveOv
😂😂😂
That made me laugh. DH thinks £3000 should get him a private island for the week. Obviously he has loved every holiday I have taken us on. We went to Vienna 9 years ago for a long weekend. I booked us a very nice, central hotel. It was about £125 a night (at the time, this was double the Holiday Inn Express he was staying in for work), which he would never in a million years have paid for. Well, 9 years on, he still tells people how amazing it was and how it had the best breakfast ever.

I too would suggest parking the idea of holidays and saving every penny you get, so that you can leave the abusive twat when the time is right.

This! So he's happy to pay 3k for a flight but then not to spend anything when you get there?!

You get to spend the same on holidays as your h. He can go to Spain or Florida to see his family while you take DS where you want to go. That would be fairest.

If you and h have never agreed on a holiday, then how do you expect us to find one you will both enjoy?!

He sounds very selfish and inflexible.

I wish you all the best in getting your qualifications which will make things better (or less abnormal) and regret not being able to offer any suggestions.

I think I'd be asking for the coin spent on planes for you and the bairn transferred to you. He can go visit family on his own and you and the bairn can have some fun. I wouldn't be sending the bairn without with him alone, it doesn't sound as if he would be cared for properly.

If he says no then I would sack off the idea of holidays completely. Getting him out of your hair for a bit should be a holiday enough and when you're in the position you want to be in you can leave him at home while you go off with kid on adventures

I will start by saying I agree he sounds bloody draining and financially abusive so I hope you get where you are going career wise really quickly.

If you want to make the most of the Florida situation there is so much to do, if the family are in Miami I'd suggest a drive down the Keys and a stay and the Mermaid and Alligator Key west (although it's really romantic Inn and I don't think he deserves it ) there are some really lovely places on the Keys and Gulf keys.

I have been to many lovely AI hotels in Europe and not seen any drunken English people, but maybe a nice AI that has apartments/bungalow accommodations might work. These are expensive though, Ikos etc

Maybe he needs to centre the DC more so you could look at Scott Dunn, they have some amazing properties and i would say the best kids clubs in the holiday industry, your DC would have a blast but also pricey.

How about basing yourselves in a city in the South of France - Montpelier or Perpignan say. Plenty of good food and wine and beaches just a 20 min bus or train ride away?

Maybe he needs to centre the DC more so you could look at Scott Dunn, they have some amazing properties and i would say the best kids clubs in the holiday industry, your DC would have a blast but also pricey.

The H won’t spend more than 1k which ironically is a fraction of what the ‘poor’ people spend on their resort holidays.