Husband and Bloody Holidays!

[PotatoPudding]

DH hates spending money on holidays because, unless it’s food, he thinks it’s a waste to spend money on things you can’t keep. He’s also a massive snob. He was fine to go on holidays when I was able to pay for them, though.

His dad lives in Florida (not a cool part) and his sister lives in Spain (a really boring, small town) where there’s nothing for me
or DS 5 to do. DH just spends time catching up with his family while we are stuck indoors (in Florida) with nowhere to go (there are no paths and it’s miles to anywhere).

He refuses to go to a resort because he thinks only poor people go to resorts. I found a lovely week-long Norwegian cruise for £700pp but he doesn’t see the point without the extra package for more restaurants we won’t eat in, which is another £300 per person. He’s therefore saying £3000 for one week is too expensive.

I don’t want to go self-catering because I want a bloody holiday with coffee being poured for me and no dishes to clear up.

I am open to all suggestions home
and away.

However, please don’t bother commenting if it’s just to criticise my husband or my marriage; I know he’s an arse. I want good holiday suggestions.

@PollyPut

Thank you for your reply. A Scandinavian cruise is on my bucket list. A family we know did it last year and said there was lots to do and it was very relaxing. There are cafes and restaurants included in the £700 per person but you can pay an extra £300 each for more restaurants and alcohol. The additional restaurants aren’t really suitable for our DS, so we’d be unlikely to use them, and neither of us drink.

This is exactly what you should do!

this

How about Jersey in a nice hotel where you can have breakfast and dinner and then go child friendly days out?

@TunaCrunchy
I hadn’t thought of Jersey. What a good idea. I’ve heard lovely things about it.

I was going to suggest go on your own and leave husband behind 😂
my son is 6 so similar age to yours

we have been all inclusive twice in riviera maya and Lanzarote doing day trips from the resort

have been to Croatia renting a car ans different airbnbs (we just ate out ) and nyc as well.

has been to cities as well in Spain and also dolomites in Italy (mountains)

this year we are doing Singapore / Thailand and Cambodia.

japan was meant to be in 2020 but covid ruined and we ended it doing the Scottish highlands

many of my friends say Tokyo is quite good and they’ve also enjoyed nyc , loads to
do for kids the age of your son (my son was 5 when we went)

my parents are more into cruises and they’ve done the Greek islands and also the Mediterranean (from Venice to Greece stopping in Croatia) I’d love to do the Norwegian fjords ones myself

however , if he ain’t much into hols … then id let him with the child and yourself go to Maldives 😂

@PotatoPudding I think there are probably plenty of very up market hotels with child facilities and someone to pour your coffee , that won't be full of drunk Brits ..
BUT...they cost... a lot.
Your dh has champagne tastes clearly but beer budget...and that's the problem.
15 yrs ago we went to a fabulous place in Sardinia...big resort as in lots of space, discreet bungalows in gorgeous grounds, asquillion pools, many adults only and a private beach and several Michelin starred restaurants..and nannies....it was just the sort of thing I can imagine your dh liking...discrete, luxe, other guests very posh and glamorous but hardly seen...
15 yrs ago 10 days in June for 2 adults, 1 x 9 yr and 1 toddler half board was 12k ....
I darent imagine what it would be now.
So he needs to have a reality check...
Maybe have the chat about what you both want from a holiday and then ask him to find something...

He doesn’t see your labor as worth paying for: housekeeping, cooking, childcare. So he will never pay for a vacation where those things are covered. In his cost/benefit analysis the costs are born by you and the benefit is to him. If its the other way around—your benefit his cost—he’s not doing it.

I would stop going to his family at all as its not a vacation. Save the money and doend it on you and ds.

I can't understand this, for me experiences and memories are of much more value. Holidays are about new adventures, making those memories and getting away from the rat race. Currently sat in a caravan on a cold and windy site but loving it! ❤️

Since you're interested in Italy I can wholeheartedly recommend this place on the Italian side of Lake Lugano. Terrific food (several restaurants), own beach, two pools, very child friendly and offer activities. They even have a couple of donkeys for kids to feed! 30 min drive to Lake Como. Airport pickup from Lugano or I think Milan. Family members go every year for over a decade now.

www.parco-san-marco.com/en/home/

You can always book an airbnb type place anywhere and eat out! You get the space and privacy but you don't have to cook if you don't want to. Or just find a normal hotel anywhere, go to a travel agent if you don't know where to start, there are so many options beyond all inclusive or self catering. We recently went to a European capital to a cheap gust house we found on booking.com and had all our meals out in different restaurants, we tend to do that wherever we go but often prefer self catering as you have the option to have some meals in for fussy kids and cheap breakfast and prepare our own picnics for days out and also washing clothes so we can travel lighter. But my husband is happy to go along if I do all the planning!

How much would he spend if £2100/£3000 is too much?

He’s always said the budget depends on the place, whereas for most people, the place depends on the budget. He would probably spend £1000 but I don’t think he’s ever paid for any of our holidays except for a really shit holiday in France.

You don't need to buy a meal/drink package on a cruise! You can pay a la carte at all the upcharge restaurants and buy soft drinks as you go - if you're not smashing the alcohol you'd be unlikely to get your moneys worth from a drinks package anyway.

So now you're back to a £2100 cruise plus bit of spending money - hopefully he'll agree 🤞🏼

@alisonofagun

That’s good to know. Are the soft drinks just normal restaurant and pub prices?

Send him on his own to visit family, you and children have your own holiday.

@BigFatLiar if I didn’t need him to pay for it, I would 😂

Does he have any airmiles? You can often use them to book hotels and cars too, maybe he wouldnt mind spending them as much as cash! If he travels business a lot for work, then he might have a big stash

How about Switzerland for hiking in the summer? is that posh enough for him? There are cable cars up to the top and then you just walk around a bit to the mountain huts and have wine and snacks. You could have dinner and breakfast included in the hotel rate. Maybe start with a couple of nights on Lake Geneva for some splashing in the lake stuff

Would he do a flotilla sailing holiday around the Greek islands? Would you trust DS sleeping on a boat? Not quite as relaxing for you, but Im sure you could get breakfast at a harbour cafe every morning.

What airport do you usually fly into in Florida? Would he swing for you staying with DS in a hotel near the airport while he goes on to the rellies, then comes back to get you after 4/5 days?

@SeaToSki
Switzerland is posh enough for him but he’d never pay Switzerland prices. I don’t think he’s ever spent more than £1000 on a holiday that isn’t visiting his family.

Unfortunately no air miles as he’s always had to pay and then claim back, so always gone with the cheapest airline rather than always using the same one.

We fly into Miami, which DH despises and thinks is incredibly unsafe and has never let me spend any time there. I also don’t have the money for it at the moment.

How about a few days in the UK in a hotel so you get a break from cooking etc? We used to do this, we’d book a hotel near a good attraction and build a little holiday around it. Look for a hotel with a pool so you can take your DC and take it in turns sitting in the jacuzzi or sauna.

I know we’re not supposed to say this, but he sounds like a controlling, ignorant fun sponge.

@TunaCrunchy

That’s a lovely idea. Do you have any UK destinations you’d recommend? So far, we’ve only done Norfolk, Northumberland and Sherwood Forest, which was a Forest Holidays.

He is, but I am not in a position to make big life changes just yet. I will soon, though.

Oh dear pray why are you married? Just go without him. He's a knob. He won't make you happy.

Because I have no money, no support network, nowhere to go, don’t qualify for UC. I am, however, working towards a qualification that will increase my earning potential and give me a proper career.