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Original poster

DH insisting I take a car seat on holiday. AIBU?

106 replies

Sammy6388 · 20/08/2023 21:33

DH is going to Australia for 3 weeks to volunteer at a sporting event, so I have booked a holiday to lanzarote with my Mum and 2 children. DS will be 4 months and DD will be 3.5 (easier being on holiday with them than managing both on my own at home).
DH is insisting that I take a car seat for them both. It's a 15 minute transfer by jet2 coach from the airport, so I don't think it's necessary.
We are staying at an all inclusive hotel on the beach so it is unlikely we will get a taxi when we are there.
We will have 3 suitcases, 2 prams, a trunki, changing bags and hand bags so my point is adding 2 car seats is too much to carry.
I've said I will compromise and take a car seat for the baby, but am I being unreasonable to refuse to take one for our 3y old?

OP posts:
Firsttimecaller · 20/08/2023 23:11

So: two adults, one toddler, one baby?
Minimise as much as you can and keep hands free.
Two medium spinner suitcases shared: one for DM & toddler, one for OP & baby
One 30l backpack for changing bag and small handbag or fanny pack (like the ubiquitous uniqlo ) for OP (for purse, travel docs)
One largish totebag and (small handbag) for DM to take poolside daily.
One small backpack with attached reins for airport etc. (When my dd was 3 or 4 we actually bought a 1m dog lead attaching her to the luggage before check in & on my wrist after. The two of us have crossed the pond 14 times together).
If toddler not potty trained they carry one small stuffy and one emergency change (clean nappy, clean bottoms, a few wipes and a nappy bag) on their own back.
One umbrella/lightweight cheap pram for baby (the mcclaren super lightweight umbrella stroller for example) get it second hand as they can easily get smashed about in the luggage hold when you check it at the skybridge.
A very simple sling for baby as you walk through airport etc.
A coach won't require car seats. If you do need an occasional car ride get the taxi to supply car seats.
Please don't take a trunki, it gives other airport users the rage. They are stupidly precarious, weave all over the place and are never under control. A particular hazard to other children and disabled airport users.
Finally: label your children discreetly in case they get away. A piece of paper in a pocket with their name, flight details and your phone numbers so security can find you. Better to have and not need...
Relax & have fun!

Moveoverdarlin · 20/08/2023 23:14

Ditch the Trunki. They’re a total pain in the ass.

Firsttimecaller · 20/08/2023 23:15

OK, fair enough about the buggies and arthritis, hope the heat does her good and you have a great time.

pamplemoussemousse · 20/08/2023 23:46

welshweasel · 20/08/2023 22:11

@pamplemoussemousse buses travel at slow speeds in built up areas, trains are far safer than road travel.

I've been on coaches in the UK and always used a car seat. Many transfers abroad are on fast roads, in countries with dubious road safety.

Come and get on a bus in my area, they drive like lunatics. I'd feel far safer on a coach, on a motorway in Spain. The roads in many European countries are on par with or safer than the UK, especially for large vehicles.

I'm not here to make the op feel like shit for not taking car seats that might not even be able to be secured properly on a holiday where she's going to spend a total of 30 mins travelling by coach.

I've said upthread she could book a private transfer but honestly I think a coach is safer than a car if there was to be an accident.

Whenwillglorioussummercome · 21/08/2023 00:38

So pleased you’re abandoning the Trunki case. They are so awful.

Get your three year old one of these instead. These must keep Trunki in business! We’ve found them brilliant as boosters when travelling. You can jam a surprising amount into them and our kids have always been happy to have them as backpacks.

https://www.amazon.co.uk/Trunki-BoostApak-Travel-Backpack-Booster/dp/B007DAZ36G/ref=mp_s_a_1_4?crid=260G3QYQIISLN&keywords=travel+booster+backpack&qid=1692574647&sprefix=travel+booster+backpack%2Caps%2C195&sr=8-4

transformandriseup · 21/08/2023 00:55

I wouldn't take car seats either, the Jet2 transfer coach will have seatbelts.

I would see if you can hire a double buggy in Lanzarote, Playa Blanca has a place you can hire them and I am sure the other large towns do to.

mumof1or2 · 21/08/2023 01:49

BiscuitsandPuffin · 20/08/2023 21:38

Jesus I wouldn't even contemplate letting my kids go in a car without a car seat unless it was an emergency and they needed A+E. For a holiday? You need to get your priorities straight. Why on EARTH do you need 2 bloody prams?!

They're not getting in a car. They're travelling by coach, which doesn't require car seats.

avemariiiaa · 21/08/2023 02:09

Ask him how he would juggle the luggage plus two car seats, two young kids and strollers.

Ignore PP. Take all the luggage you need and the two strollers.

A stroller each is vital IMO for getting around the airport when potentially in a rush, something to hang a bag on and the basket space is useful too.

When on holiday it will be useful if the eldest also needs to rest their legs or have a nap when out and about.

Car seats will be pointless if the transfer is on a bus/coach and you don't need to use taxis.

avemariiiaa · 21/08/2023 02:09

BiscuitsandPuffin · 20/08/2023 21:38

Jesus I wouldn't even contemplate letting my kids go in a car without a car seat unless it was an emergency and they needed A+E. For a holiday? You need to get your priorities straight. Why on EARTH do you need 2 bloody prams?!

Calm down.

Qilin · 21/08/2023 02:32

BiscuitsandPuffin · 20/08/2023 21:38

Jesus I wouldn't even contemplate letting my kids go in a car without a car seat unless it was an emergency and they needed A+E. For a holiday? You need to get your priorities straight. Why on EARTH do you need 2 bloody prams?!

It's a coach transfer not a car.
Car seats may not work on the coach due to the type of seat belts.

whoruntheworldgirls · 21/08/2023 02:42

Car seat for baby absolutely. Older child will be ok without.
Can't you take 1 pram and a buggy board? Or just let eldest ride around on the trunkie

wannabetraveler · 21/08/2023 03:29

Why are you taking three cases plus hand luggage? You can get everything into one case, surely?

avemariiiaa · 21/08/2023 06:29

wannabetraveler · 21/08/2023 03:29

Why are you taking three cases plus hand luggage? You can get everything into one case, surely?

The OP hasn't said how long they are away for or how big the cases are.

I certainly couldn't fit one adult and two children's worth of stuff on one case.

lastseasonstop · 21/08/2023 06:54

Love threads where posters froth at the mouth over needing more than a sandwich bag to fit a weeks worth of clothes for an adult and 2 kids!

DinnaeFashYersel · 21/08/2023 07:09

I've never taken a car seat on holiday and I've never seen anyone else with one.

I've only head this discussed on Mumsnet not in real life.

FarEast · 21/08/2023 07:17

I'd take at least one car seat and junk the Trunki. They are a bloody menace in airports and take up completely unnecessary overhead locker space. They're selfish, and it's a mad choice to prioritise a Trunki over a car seat!

smileandwavexx · 21/08/2023 07:19

Wow ip here are some tips

3 suitcases ??? NO NO NO

I pack for 6 of us in 2 cases, you can mix your weight so that may be easier for you op, I get the large it one an it fits loads in an they weigh nothing. I fit all mine an the kids into one of them! The second case has medical stuff in for us so you can certainly do it! Plus less bags to carry, your hands will be full enough
For bottles I took some mam ones so I could steam them at the hotel without having to take extra luggage to do it as I stopped BF at the time, got 2 bottles of Amazon on Ofer for like £9 I think they was!
Also I got a cheap double pram online - second hand! Iv got it now 4 years later an this is my holiday pram, it's absolutely amazing!!!!! My oldest can't walk (7) and I have a 9mo. I don't have enough hands to push a wheelchair and a buggy so it's brilliant for me still!

I took my dd away at 4mo and didn't take any seats, sat on my knee on the coach- good job as thwir wasn't any seats for a chair anyway

Hope this helps x

OhDoh · 21/08/2023 07:22

We asked the question and jet2 coach couldn't accommodate the car seat. Ditch the trunki.. honestly I was tempted to leave our in the hotel 'accidently'... sold it on eBay as soon as we got home.. x

JellyBabiesSaveLives · 21/08/2023 07:34

He's buggering off to Australia on a 3 week jolly, and leaving you to manage everything. He's not helping you to organise his kids' holiday. Do whatever you judge is best.

Also when you get your 3 childfree weeks to do what you want (you are, aren't you?) and he's parenting his children alone, try a bit of micromanaging, see how he likes it.

smileandwavexx · 21/08/2023 07:41

Also defo ditch the trunki and hand luggage. I took a nappy bag and kids iPads. They didn't bother with anything else, never have when Iv packed a full case of toys!
Also I take my passports an documents in a little wallet so easier to get out the nappy bag!

Schoolchoicesucks · 21/08/2023 07:43

Absolutelynotfor2019 · 20/08/2023 21:40

Hire a car seat in Lanzarote.

Don't do this unless you are hiring a car. Even if you are hiring a car tbh as (many years ago now) we did this and the car seat provided was not safe.

Taking a car seat for the baby sounds sensible. For the 3 year old in a 15 minute coach journey I'd be tempted to go with one of the backpack car seats that the 3 year old can carry and put some toys/colouring books in.
Can you get away with just one pram and a sling? And 2 (larger?) suitcases if you can do some laundry there?

BendingSpoons · 21/08/2023 07:45

wellingtonsandwaffles · 20/08/2023 22:18

I swapped the coach transfer for a private taxi which came with car seats - sorted! Not too ££ either! And don’t have to worry about al the luggage in a coach

We did this when we had a 6mo. (Well we booked it ourselves rather than through the tour operator.) On the way back to the airport they sent a coach for the 4 of us! It does depend a bit on how close the place is though, so how much it will cost.

I wouldn't be taking a car seat for the 3yo though.

bellac11 · 21/08/2023 07:47

lastseasonstop · 21/08/2023 06:54

Love threads where posters froth at the mouth over needing more than a sandwich bag to fit a weeks worth of clothes for an adult and 2 kids!

Yes. We take a lot of luggage!!!

itsgettingweird · 21/08/2023 08:18

I'd rethink the suitcases!

I'd take a big one on wheels and smaller one with a set of clothes for everyone in case of luggage loss.

One backpack/change bag.

A small cross body handbag each.

I wouldn't worry about car seats.

Take another backpack in a suitcase so you have one each when out and about to pack everything you need in it.

FarEast · 21/08/2023 08:50

Genuine qustion: what is the point of trunkis?

As a PP says, they are a menace to other passengers as the toddlers on them are rarely properly supervised. They don't appear to be functional as luggage, and surely you want to travel with as little hand baggage as possible? And they take up an inordinate amount of room in the overhead lockers, which should be for actual luggage that people need.

A backpack for you, maybe a backpack for your 3.5 yo (they can be a "big" girl/boy and carry their own iPad or something, and a cross body handbag, so you have both hands free.