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Original poster

DH insisting I take a car seat on holiday. AIBU?

106 replies

Sammy6388 · 20/08/2023 21:33

DH is going to Australia for 3 weeks to volunteer at a sporting event, so I have booked a holiday to lanzarote with my Mum and 2 children. DS will be 4 months and DD will be 3.5 (easier being on holiday with them than managing both on my own at home).
DH is insisting that I take a car seat for them both. It's a 15 minute transfer by jet2 coach from the airport, so I don't think it's necessary.
We are staying at an all inclusive hotel on the beach so it is unlikely we will get a taxi when we are there.
We will have 3 suitcases, 2 prams, a trunki, changing bags and hand bags so my point is adding 2 car seats is too much to carry.
I've said I will compromise and take a car seat for the baby, but am I being unreasonable to refuse to take one for our 3y old?

OP posts:

webster1987 · 20/08/2023 22:13

BiscuitsandPuffin · 20/08/2023 21:38

Jesus I wouldn't even contemplate letting my kids go in a car without a car seat unless it was an emergency and they needed A+E. For a holiday? You need to get your priorities straight. Why on EARTH do you need 2 bloody prams?!

Huh? Where does she say she's going to put them in a car?

threelittlescones · 20/08/2023 22:14

bellac11 · 20/08/2023 22:04

Do you never travel by bus?

Show quote history

Some people don't. My twins are almost 4 and have never been on a bus or train. I've only been on a train a handful of times and not on a bus at all in the past 5 or 6 years either.

Snugglemonkey · 20/08/2023 22:18

screentimehelpplease · 20/08/2023 21:46

She's not going in a car, she's going on a coach that is likely to not have seatbelts and probably won't even have a separate seat for the baby.
Stop making out the OP is an irresponsible mother.

OP, I'd speak to Jet 2 to see what they say. I can pretty much guarantee that they'll say a car seat won't work for the coach transfer. Then just tell your DH that.

Show quote history

Sort of this, but I would tell dh to do the speaking to jet2.

wellingtonsandwaffles · 20/08/2023 22:18

I swapped the coach transfer for a private taxi which came with car seats - sorted! Not too ££ either! And don’t have to worry about al the luggage in a coach

76evie · 20/08/2023 22:18

BiscuitsandPuffin · 20/08/2023 21:38

She hasn’t said they are going in a car, they are going on a coach. As for why 2 prams…..One for each child perhaps 🙄

I wouldn’t think the seat belt on a coach would work with a seat belt.

Dartmoorcheffy · 20/08/2023 22:19

I wouldn't bother taking it. The trip from the airport to Puerto del Carmen/matagorda is less than 3 miles and the coach is unlikely to go over 30mph. The chances of anything happening are practically zero.

ttcat37 · 20/08/2023 22:20

What would DH expect you to do if you were getting a bus with the kids in the U.K.?!

liveforsummer · 20/08/2023 22:23

BiscuitsandPuffin · 20/08/2023 21:38

They won't be going in a car!

Autieangel · 20/08/2023 22:24

I'd narrow it down to two suitcases, 2 buggy's a ruck sack as your hand luggage (double as changing bag) and your mums hand luggage. Try to ditch the trunkie they are awful

Canisaysomething · 20/08/2023 22:28

Car seats for a 15minute coach ride!? Plenty of us londoners travel by bus with young kids on our laps all the time.

Tarantella6 · 20/08/2023 22:30

As everyone else says
Car seat won't work with the lap belt on the coach
Baby won't have an allocated seat on the coach anyway
Forget about the trunki
Get a sling for the baby and take one lie flat pushchair that either child can use, taking two is madness

liveforsummer · 20/08/2023 22:31

Agree ditch the trunki, big cumbersome things that don't steer and everything falls out all over the floor when you open it for security. You dinners the 2 buggy's though. Ignore those pp's who say you don't but 2 suitcases is enough, I've done 3 weeks for me and 2 dc on hand luggage only before and no need for separate change bags. Car seats are totally unnecessary and mostly useless if taking coaches

HMW1906 · 20/08/2023 22:32

We went in May with a 3 month old and a 2.5 year old. We didn’t take car seats. 2.5 year old sat
on a seat with my husband and 3 month old was in a sling.

if you take car seats you will need to arrange a private transfer to your hotel. They book the coach seats based on flight seats so as baby won’t have a seat on the flight they won’t have a seat on the coach either (there’s a good chance there will be spare seats on the coach but not guaranteed). I’m not sure the seat belts on a coach would secure a car seat securely either but I’m unsure about this.

bellac11 · 20/08/2023 22:32

welshweasel · 20/08/2023 22:11

@pamplemoussemousse buses travel at slow speeds in built up areas, trains are far safer than road travel.

I've been on coaches in the UK and always used a car seat. Many transfers abroad are on fast roads, in countries with dubious road safety.

Bus drivers are usually maniacs I find, they pull away before you've sat down or moved to somewhere where you can hold on, child or no child in your arms.

Original poster

Sammy6388 · 20/08/2023 22:32

Thanks everyone (except @BiscuitsandPuffin) 😂 some good advice! We do a lot of walking and my DD has arthritis so definitely need 2 prams. One is a yoyo and both can be pushed with one hand. Will leave the trunki at home! I will check with Jet2 to see if I can even use a car seat on the coach. If not, problem solved!

OP posts:

Cynicaltheorist · 20/08/2023 22:33

bellac11 · 20/08/2023 21:50

Perhaps its just me but that sounds like the right amount of luggage, a suitcase each and a buggy for each child, there will be 3 adults there so 2 people pushing 2 children in the buggies sounds ok for when the older child needs it.

I wouldnt take a car seat

It's just you. OP is travelling with her DM. Two adults.

Mrburnshound · 20/08/2023 22:39

Glad to hear you are leaving the trunki at home. I hate ours so much and my kids love them.

You probably wont be able to take a car seat on the coach. We always taxi or hire car and I bring seats, i have the backpack storage bags from amazon. It's good to have a seat you know how to fit and are confident is the right size for your child. You just whack them on the trolley and check them in and youve got rid of them, i havent used a seat on the plane although i think with some you can

HeddaGarbled · 20/08/2023 22:39

He won’t be there so he can’t “insist”. Something I’ve learned over a long life is to make non-committal noises in response to “advice” (aka, people trying to boss me about) and then do what I decide.

Bruisername · 20/08/2023 22:42

Well that’s a good point - will he even be there when you leave/get back

greengrassed · 20/08/2023 22:42

BiscuitsandPuffin · 20/08/2023 21:38

Bit rude

Hungrycaterpillarsmummy · 20/08/2023 22:43

I would take two easy fold strollers but I'd definitely not take a car seat. No way!

Ghosttofu99 · 20/08/2023 22:46

Join the Facebook group Car Seat Advice UK and ask this there as you will get much more detailed specific advice about the pros/cons of taking car seats abroad and on coaches etc

HMW1906 · 20/08/2023 22:48

We had a private transport back to the airport in Lanzarote when travelling with our 2.5 year old and 3 month old. It had been booked to use their car seats, I’d checked they had rear facing car seats and one suitable for a 3 month old. The car seats that came were suitable from about 9 months +, they couldn’t be secured into the taxi (they sent a minibus for 4 of us) properly, they were flapping around all over the place. We ended up putting 2.5 year old on a seat with a seatbelt on and dad next to him and keeping baby in the sling, I would’ve felt safer on a bigger coach with them as in an accident a coach has less chance of sustaining damage.

I also wouldn’t take all that luggage with you. We took a double pram and checked it as luggage to avoid having to collapse it at security and at the gate (kept baby in a sling and 2.5 year old walked in the airport). One big backpack as the changing bag for both of them and a small toddler back pack with some toys and snacks in for 2.5 year old. This means we were mostly hands free to sort the boys. We did have 3 suitcases.

When you get to Lanzarote you have a long walk to the coach park and have to go and queue at a lift so plan to have one of the prams folded and baby in a sling maybe so you can push the trolley/pram.

salsavirgo · 20/08/2023 23:00

This may help but I recently learnt that you can pay for a service to have your luggage collected from your house a day or so before you fly then you just collect your bags as normal when you land.
I still wouldn't bother taking car seats but might make the airport more manageable for you and your mum.

felisha54 · 20/08/2023 23:10

I wouldn't take one on holiday. Nobody will have them on a coach for such a short transfer.

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