Who and how much to tip (USA)

[SleepDreamThinkHuge]

Hi,

I am thinking of going to USA maybe this summer or early next year. Thinking of New York or California.

Of course the USA has a different tipping culture to UK. In the USA, when you go how much do you generally tip, who do you tip?

Believe me, Americans find this system annoying as well! If I stop in a Starbucks and get a bottled water why bother even flipping that screen over so I have to skip the tip screen? Surely staff can just skip it themselves for non-service related transactions?

Is it the norm to tip 15-20% regardless of service?

I would say I tip here in the uk 99% of the time, but if the service has been rubbish I won't bother, or if I do it won't be a lot

I was a waitress for a while in a UK city with a lot of American tourists. My experience was that they expected American style service - e.g. treating the menu as a suggestion only "can I have that but with that on the side and switch this and dressing on the side" which took a lot of extra work to communicate to the kitchen - but then didn't tip as they assumed it wasn't necessary in the UK.

Is it the norm to tip 15-20% regardless of service?

Yes, although 15% is too low in a restaurant. But service in the US is seldom rubbish. And if it is slow or not up to par for some reason, it is more likely a result of understaffing, which has been an issue since the pandemic. I'm not going to penalize the waitstaff for that.

I have had some absolutely abysmal service in the US. I go quite frequently for family reasons and every trip there is at least one incident of it. And not like they didn't smile enough or whatever, more in a very quiet restaurant, they fail to bring half our order and then ignore us level. Weirdly, I have never had bad service in a busy place.

I have come to the conclusion that sometimes they hear a British accent and assume they won't get a tip

Is tipping different in different states? The OP mentions NY and California, but I've read that in California tipped employees get full state minimum wage of $15.50 before tips. So about £12.50. Do they still expect tips?!

@Theelephantinthecastle I could see that happening as it is completely normal here to ask for menu substitutions (though a few restaurants don't accommodate that). But it wouldn't occur to most of us that it would be considered extra work for wait staff. But I tip wait staff no matter where I am; it's too ingrained a habit and I doubt they're insulted (perhaps amused though?) at my American tipping addiction😀

I’ve just come back from NY and I’ve cancelled a future visit because of the tipping. I was asked to tip at a self service till in a pharmacy! The city has gone downhill since my last visit about 8 years ago. Food and drinks are already very expensive (and I’m used to London prices) then you’re expected to add a minimum 20% tip. I’ve been priced out of travelling there. And it’s not relaxing trying not to offend everyone all the time.

It is a lot of work for waitstaff - you have to communicate it to the chefs, which takes a lot longer than just writing down the numbers/ticking off on a tablet, sometimes like in the place I worked at, you had to persuade them to do it (that chef was generally insulted that his genius combination was being meddled with).

And then if you are good at your job, you then check it when you pick up the food and preemptively spot any mistakes and get them fixed.

I think in the UK, the accepted norm is that you don't have to tip if you are just asking for standard service but if you take up a lot of extra staff, you should

We holiday yearly in the US, we decided ourselves what and who to tip. I never tip as much as 20%, more like 10% in restaurants, if there services are not acceptable then no tip at all.

Yes. Waitstaff generally expect to get more than minimum wage pretty much everywhere.

Also in states that allow wait staff to be paid less than minimum wage because of the expectation of tips, if tips don't make up the difference, employers have to pay it. But most wait staff are aiming to make more than whatever the minimum wage is in the state, whatever it is.

Yes that would be my take on it

So tipping doesn't vary at all between states where they are paid $2 and $15? I'd be inclined to tip much more if I knew waitstaff were on a low wage than if they were on more than me before tips.

@Okunevo Tipping should be based on service provided and what the wait staff is paid as a base salary isn't taken into consideration.

Example: My niece (full time Uni student) works two dinner shifts at a local country club. She routinely makes $1,000 to $1,500 in tips for those two shifts combined. Pretty good money for a part-time gig!

You can't assume that all wait staff is poorly compensated and the oneness is on the customer to make up for that; not true! Alternatively the server shouldn't be penalized by the customer because it's assumed they're already being paid enough.

Also, it's important to remember that cost of living varies greatly in the US. Minimum wage laws reflect that.

I think there's an expectation on the part of British people that nobody is really 'nice', that deep down everyone is surly AF and carries a massive chip on their shoulder, and that if you go about your day smiling and being nice to other people you must be simple minded.

No, nobody employed in a hotel runs ahead of a hotel guest and presses an elevator button, and stands there waiting for a tip

And nobody is going to stand in front of a door or an elevator waiting for someone to open it or push the button for them so they can then do the old noblesse oblige bit.

What odd thoughts...
America isn't a different planet.

Wait staff don’t receive minimum wage in the US. They get paid less so tipping is really important. 18% is fine for normal service, 20% if good. Don’t need to go over that.

I'd have spat on them if I were that waiter. A group of six tightwads...

Go to less pricey restaurants if you end up having to choose between paying for the meal and paying a fair tip. A fair tip for dinner service for six people on a tab $1250 should have been at least $150.

What that group did was stiff someone out of at least an hour's income. They should be ashamed.

Of course not.

I think a lot of British people need to stop taking tipping so personally.

You have no personal responsibility to lift a humble server out of imagined poverty.

You have no right to stiff your server because you don't approve of American ways.

You have no right to stiff the people the server shares his or her tips with - the bussing staff, the hostess, the dishwashers, etc.

Remove your personal feelings from the equation altogether. It's a business transaction. You receive a service, and you pay for it. Your food is a separate charge. Restaurants are businesses where a number of different symbiotic financial arrangements flourish.

Tipping is part of the cost of eating out in the US. Suck it up. Plan your meals out with tipping as part of your budget.

What's the 20% service charge for then if not service? Could/should they have had this removed and then tipped the waiter in cash instead?

I'm sure if you spat on them they'd have changed their mind about tipping on top of service charge immediately (!)

America is so weirdly and determinedly backwards in this regard; smile, twirl and dance monkey and I'll decide how much you're worth based on how much you impress me not actually how you do your job, odd. Is it some hang over from the Wild West or something?

Really ? They paid 20% service charge already - no way would I add another 20%

Don't worry, I can't afford to visit anyway! Since found this, that suggests there is quite a variation with three quarters of people tipping 15% or less in California. https://upgradedpoints.com/travel/best-worst-tippers/

The whole concept of tipping seems to be a throwback to a time when wealthy people would chuck a few coins at the much poorer people who were doing odd jobs for them (“you there lad, fetch me that prize turkey from the butchers and there’ll be a shiny ha’penny for your trouble”).

Nowadays the waiter, bar staff or whoever it is might well be earning as much, if not more than the person who is buying the meal, or the drinks. And yet this odd ritual still persists where the customer must adopt the role of the lady/lord and is still expected to throw those “few coins” to the person who has served them.

It is such an odd dynamic, but hugely beneficial to the employers who manage to step back from having to properly look after their own staff, and instead shift the burden onto their customers.

And yet this odd ritual still persists where the customer must adopt the role of the lady/lord and is still expected to throw those “few coins” to the person who has served them.

I think you may have projected some notions from the British class system on to dining out in the US. This Lord and Lady dynamic is not really part of the US culture of dining out. Broad generalization, but wait staff don't see themselves as servile or being demeaned by their jobs, and lots of the diners will have waited tables themselves at some point and even if they haven't, tend to recognize that aspect of American culture that appreciates the value of a job well done, whatever it is.

It’s about time waiting was seen as part of the overall meal. It’s not a separate entity. Pay the staff. I agree with @Bluegrass . It’s a dereliction of duty to shift the onus to customers. The restaurant is the employer. This system shames the USA. Not keen on it here either. Pay the staff fairly! If a meal is £200 pp a restaurant really can pay its staff!!