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Original poster

Who and how much to tip (USA)

271 replies

SleepDreamThinkHuge · 28/03/2023 11:52

Hi,

I am thinking of going to USA maybe this summer or early next year. Thinking of New York or California.

Of course the USA has a different tipping culture to UK. In the USA, when you go how much do you generally tip, who do you tip?

OP posts:
Thread gallery
6
Fudgewomble · 29/03/2023 07:22

Can someone help out with what’s the done thing for buffet breakfasts in a nice (4-5 star) hotel? We’re shown to our table then literally help ourselves. Are we supposed to tip the hostess or the person who vaguely hovers over us but doesn’t do anything? As we don’t get an itemised bill - either added to our room or included - it’s not even as if there’s a clear mechanism to tip something . But I feel we should…

Bbq1 · 29/03/2023 07:32

Watching with interest as we are off to LA in July.

Bluegrass · 29/03/2023 07:50

I find if I get brilliant service from someone in a non tipping culture you can really appreciate that they are great at their job, or a lovely person. They were going to get paid anyway but they went above and beyond regardless. That will make me want to go back, and recommend them or the place they work for.

If I get great service from someone in a tipping culture like the US I don’t get that same lift. The financial element sours it for me as it creates a direct link between the service I received and the expectation that I will now personally pay them for that service, probably over and above a minimum “tip” that they expect even for doing the bare minimum.

How much I pay is now directly linked to their performance, it will serve as a judgment. All pleasure from the interaction drains away leaving just the money.

Theelephantinthecastle · 29/03/2023 08:14

Fudgewomble · 29/03/2023 07:22

Can someone help out with what’s the done thing for buffet breakfasts in a nice (4-5 star) hotel? We’re shown to our table then literally help ourselves. Are we supposed to tip the hostess or the person who vaguely hovers over us but doesn’t do anything? As we don’t get an itemised bill - either added to our room or included - it’s not even as if there’s a clear mechanism to tip something . But I feel we should…

I do if they go the extra mile - DS has food allergies and if the hostess is helpful in checking what he can have etc, I will tip. If they are just "oh we can't accept liability for this, he can't eat anything not even a piece of fruit" then..no

SofiaSoFar · 29/03/2023 12:51

I have to say I detest the whole tipping thing.

I work in the US regularly (multiple times per year, 1-2 weeks at a time) and I dread the messing around with tips.

Why on earth can't they just add the tip to the bill automatically, if it's all but mandatory to tip anyway?

What I've noticed recently is that the % seems to be going up. It's not that long ago that the pre-calculated tip suggestions were 10/15/20% at the bottom of the bill, now it's usually 15/20/25%, if not starting at 18 or 20%.

There's very little I enjoy about spending time in the US in the first place and the faffing with tips just makes it worse.

I mean, it's not like it's even my own money I'm giving away so the problem for me is purely the hassle of tipping, not the cost.

BellaEllaWella · 29/03/2023 13:08

Fudgewomble · 29/03/2023 07:22

Can someone help out with what’s the done thing for buffet breakfasts in a nice (4-5 star) hotel? We’re shown to our table then literally help ourselves. Are we supposed to tip the hostess or the person who vaguely hovers over us but doesn’t do anything? As we don’t get an itemised bill - either added to our room or included - it’s not even as if there’s a clear mechanism to tip something . But I feel we should…

You leave some $ bills on the table - same as in buffet restaurants. How many depends on who’s dining/ how fancy it is but yes, you would tip

10-15% on a restaurant bill is way too low now - it needs to be 20% and In New York it’s edging up to 25%

SofiaSoFar · 29/03/2023 13:34

Fudgewomble · 29/03/2023 07:22

Can someone help out with what’s the done thing for buffet breakfasts in a nice (4-5 star) hotel? We’re shown to our table then literally help ourselves. Are we supposed to tip the hostess or the person who vaguely hovers over us but doesn’t do anything? As we don’t get an itemised bill - either added to our room or included - it’s not even as if there’s a clear mechanism to tip something . But I feel we should…

The general rule is, if any member of staff catches your eye, they'll expect a tip.

IsaiditwasLighthearted · 29/03/2023 16:27

I agree with everyone else that @Whammyyammy is under tipping by today's standards, sorry but it's true. They'll be cursing you after you leave 😁

KatherineJaneway · 30/03/2023 16:25

Whammyyammy · 28/03/2023 12:11

On card machines when paying, they usually give 3 options starting at 18%, but you can decline any. Note:They also have a maximum 75% rate to prevent you being scammed.

Most paper bills/checks when paying have 2 lines under the amount for tip, then total, leaving the % up to you.

I usually leave just above 10% and round up. For example if my bill is $87, 10% would be £8/9, buy ill put $13 to round to an even 100. Staff seem OK with it.

I guarantee staff are not 'OK with it'

Businessflake · 30/03/2023 19:52

This reply has been deleted

We have deleted this as the OP is not a genuine user.

This. I’ve lived in Manhattan and went back last year for the first time since 2019. I didn’t tip anywhere that wasn’t table service and didn’t see anyone else doing that either. It’s also easy to avoid tipping for thing like luggage if you don’t want to; just carry your own bags.

I also don’t tip 20% if I’ve ordered expensive wine. No one has ever batted an eyelid at that.

woodhill · 30/03/2023 20:09

IsaiditwasLighthearted · 29/03/2023 16:27

I agree with everyone else that @Whammyyammy is under tipping by today's standards, sorry but it's true. They'll be cursing you after you leave 😁

But if you don't go back again to that restaurant

We used to go a lot and it was always around 10%

I don't think I would go back now

Ineedaduvetday · 30/03/2023 20:43

woodhill · 30/03/2023 20:09

But if you don't go back again to that restaurant

We used to go a lot and it was always around 10%

I don't think I would go back now

Show quote history

That's not right though. You know what level tipping should be. If you don't want to pay it, don't eat there and choose somewhere cheaper.

You really feel proud of yourself doing someone out of a living wage?

woodhill · 30/03/2023 20:59

Well exactly why I wouldn't go now. I haven't been since 2018 when this was fine.

It used to be reasonable but now it sounds like a right rip off as far as I'm concerned

WeBuiltThisBuffetOnSausageRoll · 30/03/2023 21:53

I find it deeply uncomfortable when I go there for work, and it does put me off ever taking the family there on holiday. I find myself questioning every interaction and second guessing if someone is just doing the job they are paid for or just being pleasant/helpful, or if it is being done in the expectation that I’m going to hand them some cash. It feels so mercenary. I’d far rather people were paid well by their employers, I don’t want to be responsible for doling out their payroll.

I've not been to the US, but this would be my thoughts exactly, and would hugely put me off. I'm not tight: I'm happy to pay the price they're expecting, but I'd just like to be paid the basic respect of being told what that total price is - rather than being left to guess and then cursed if I get it wrong, or taken advantage of if I unwittingly overtip.

What I would like to know is whether there are a whole load of unnecessary services foisted on you, or if they leave it up to you to ask? I'd be very happy to take my own luggage up to the room, but if somebody said "Here, let me get that" and opened a door for me, would I still need to stop and put my bags down anyway, to get a tip out to give them? If so, how have I benefited at all?

I must admit, one of my thoughts in the recent thread about the man who mowed the neighbour's lawn by mistake and then expected payment for his work was wondering if this is what it's like in the US? Somebody insisting on giving you a service that you don't want/need and which you could easily/would prefer to do yourself, just to pressure you into giving them money? Do people graciously accept if you say no thanks to their service or do they stare daggers at you, because they believe you've deprived them of earnings and you want them to starve?

I know it's the culture in the US, and it's none of my business how they choose to run their country; but it sounds very demeaning for everybody involved. Imagine having to ask for a tip every time you do a basic part of your job - seems quite degrading to me. Surely it turns so many human interactions into pure transactions? Every time somebody does you a kindness, you have no idea if they're just a kind person who takes pride in their job or if they're trying to force you to buy a smile.

Soapyspuds · 30/03/2023 21:55

Holiday tipping guide from me

Tip anybody you will see again
Tip others if they are nice or provide a good service
Do not bother with the rest

WeBuiltThisBuffetOnSausageRoll · 30/03/2023 21:57

Also, what's with the tip inflation when it's based on percentages? That really is taking you for a ride, when prices rise according to inflation, but then they also expect an additional 5% (or whatever) on the new, already increased price.

skilikeagirl · 30/03/2023 23:26

I never forget the time a guy collected my bags in the room called me something unrepeatable under his breath as I said my husband would give him the tip when he met him out front.
Apparently it was meant to be tip in the room then a different team wants tipping when they hand over the bags out front.
Tipping constantly makes me anxious in the US and are Americans always in the bank collecting stashes of singles and other low denomination notes?
It's an insane system!

skilikeagirl · 30/03/2023 23:29

I've stopped going to the US and travel a lot more in France where small tips are appreciated and service (and a fair wage) is built into the up front cost. It is much easier to judge whether a restaurant is affordable from a glance at the menu!

CarolinaInTheMorning · 30/03/2023 23:44

Fudgewomble · 29/03/2023 07:22

Can someone help out with what’s the done thing for buffet breakfasts in a nice (4-5 star) hotel? We’re shown to our table then literally help ourselves. Are we supposed to tip the hostess or the person who vaguely hovers over us but doesn’t do anything? As we don’t get an itemised bill - either added to our room or included - it’s not even as if there’s a clear mechanism to tip something . But I feel we should…

In this situation, I leave a small tip on the table for the person who is going to be cleaning up.

WeBuiltThisBuffetOnSausageRoll · 31/03/2023 00:13

I never forget the time a guy collected my bags in the room called me something unrepeatable under his breath as I said my husband would give him the tip when he met him out front.

This is what makes me think it's all such a big sham. You're supposedly paying extra for their performative friendliness, when 'the real them' is right there just waiting to abuse you if you make an honest mistake in interpreting what they might be expecting!

I'm sure there must be untold numbers of genuinely nice Americans, but how can you know who they are when everybody acts nice whilst people are handing out the dollars left, right and centre?

TizerorFizz · 31/03/2023 00:43

The point is that Americans like it this way. They believe they get better service. It’s something they are prepared to pay for separately and they really don’t care if friendliness is genuine. It’s a service and if it’s done in a friendly helpful way that’s good enough. No great insight into the soul take place.

Personally I hate tipping. In every scenario. I expect everyone in a very expensive restaurant to be paid properly. Here or in the USA. I don’t see why bringing a meal to my table seems to require a service charge of 12.5%.(Or more). Sometimes I feel I’d be happy to collect it myself if I was given the option!

Just pay the staff!

CallieQ · 31/03/2023 00:58

Everyone 15-20%

Kiwimommyinlondon · 31/03/2023 03:34

Soapyspuds · 30/03/2023 21:55

Holiday tipping guide from me

Tip anybody you will see again
Tip others if they are nice or provide a good service
Do not bother with the rest

Nice 🙄 Having worked as a waitress in the US and getting to know people for whom this was their livelihood, I will never undertip. If you can afford to go out for dinner you can afford a decent tip.

Snoopsnoggysnog · 31/03/2023 04:20

It sounds utterly crazy and yes would put me off - haven’t been for years but trying to plan a trip next year with DC.

im travelling in India at the moment and it sounds exactly the same as here! But the difference is people here genuinely don’t all have jobs so you will get hundreds of people offering to show you around / be a guide / give you directions / carry your bags etc for a small fee or tip. And being from the UK you’re talking about tiny amounts anyway when you convert it so frankly I don’t mind. We’ve tipped generously everywhere here - waiters, taxis, hotel staff etc and it all amounts to a few pounds here and there.

In the US where the prices are the same as the UK it seems crazy and yes just add to the bill or pay people a decent minimum wage!

I love the US but I could never live there and there is so much wrong with that place.

mathanxiety · 31/03/2023 05:35

Rainbowsandbutterflies1990 · 28/03/2023 16:21

I wouldn't go. Mainly for this reason. Companies expecting the customers to pay their employees so they don't have to is disgusting. I am aware it isn't employees fault. Their r list of other reasons too.

Whereas in the UK wages are low across the board and taxpayers provide a welfare state that effectively keeps the employers profitable.

In the US, wait staff can make an excellent living from tips. I'm talking people making $50k. Kids put themselves through university working as bartenders. Barnard College in NYC offers its students a bartending course.