I lied to school about children sickness and went on holiday

[kgabe]

So before anyone decides to go hard on me, I have never ever lied about kids sickness before. I don't know why I did it this time, I guess money is tight, we worked hard to be able to afford the holiday, but still could not afford the holiday in half term, so we decided to take kids out of school for 3 days. I reported my children to have sickness. And off we went.
But unsure why, probably based on their hunch, school called me the next day. I did not answer, just sent them a message instead. But they replied they got an international ringing tone....ooops... i did not even reply to that. When we got back I got a letter suggesting I lied, that kids were on holiday instead of home poorly, etc. I don't know what to do, I hate lying and I regret not telling the truth, but has it gone too far now to just admit I lied? I can also expect the fine for my children, well tough I suppose. But I feel like a criminal, like I did something unspeakable. But I only allowed for my family to have a wonderful time together, we has such a great time, it is really priceless. My kids are both doing great academically and their abscence was above 95%. What is everyone's take on it? Should I own up now? Or deny it still.... And are they allowed to question my children without my permission about it?
Thank you

Also other parents talk, Facebook? Other children snitch too, it’s quite funny. I’ll say ‘Oh Tom isn’t here’ and a few voices will pipe up that he’s in St Lucia when the note in the register says cough.😂

we has such a great time, it is really priceless well it wasn't else you could have afforded for them to not miss school.

Just be honest, otherwise you eldest in particular is going to be confused about why it's OK for you to lie to school

Definitely not bluffing. Very noticeable.

I wouldn't keep lying.

God in heaven

you managed to get away and had fun

you got caught out in a lie

forget it

we have had Boris, Brexit, Covid

do not be pushed down by this.

So OP’s phone was out of the country…so fuck! What does that prove? Absolutely nothing. If a fine is issued Id be telling the school I’d see them in court

The school are not “persecuting” you - don’t be ridiculous.

It’s up to you whether you take them out of school for a holiday.

But FFS don’t put the poor kids in a position of lying about it.

”Hope you’re feeling better?”
”Um… you need to ask my mum”

Not fair on the kids.

Fuck them. Deny, deny, deny. Arbitrary load of bureaucratic bullshit.

I’d happily lie and take my kids out of school for a cheaper holiday. Travel is important.

Why would 3 children in the same family being sick at the same time be suspicous?

Thats litrally how contagious virus work, they spread from person to person especially those who live or work in close proximity.

All 3 of mine caught norovirus back in July... trust me 3 kids projectile shitting everywhere while I equally felt like death and had to clean it all up was no holiday.

I work in an infant school, so I'd bet my bottom dollar that even if your children didn't realise they were going on holiday until the morning of the flight (find it quite hard to believe you managed to keep it secret from a year 6 child), they absolutely would say something about the holiday once they were back!

We've heard all sorts. One mum said they were going to a family wedding and yet the child told us they were actually going to Alton Towers for their birthday!

Some told us they were going to Butlins etc and then mysteriously had a tummy bug.

Honestly, we've heard loads!

As you are more than aware now though, it really isn't worth the lies and it's absolutely unfair to expect the children to know how to handle questions from the staff.

Then just tell them the truth.

I have no issue with parents choosing to take their kids out (as long as the parents aren't demanding extra work from the teachers) but it's not a great lesson to children to encourage them to lie to the school. I'm

Just message them and say 'Sorry I felt it was the only option I had as it was the only way I could afford to take them away'. Remember far bigger and more important people that you have told far bigger and more important lies than this!

When I took my kids out of school I told them why zero fucks given I'm their parent I don't do it often it was one day (but ds1 was on a warning for low attendance) I decided that it was very important to us as a family to have a day off school

Zero comeback absolutely nothing the school authorised it which was surprising to me but I'm not complaining

This. You are committed now.

It absolutely baffles me that English people (and wales and Scotland?) accept this controlling billshit from schools. It pretty much accepted here (Ireland) that the last week of term, particularly summer is a bit of a write off. Teachers do light activities and kids in school have a fun week. No one is poor at 30 cos they missed 3 days of school. You all need yo unclench

You didn’t commit a crime. State schools treat parents like children and you would never in a million years be treated like that by a private school.

Just ignore them….they’re not bothered about your children - just their attendance figures. Alternatively, you could own up but don’t kowtow to them - just say that you could only afford a holiday in school time and you thought it was worth the kids losing a few days to have this valuable experience. Then leave it there. Don’t teach your kids to be subservient.

I don't think term time holidays for primary age are a big deal. When I took mine I just informed the school they would be absent.
What I don't agree with is lying. It sends a message to children that it's ok to lie to get what you want. Liable to come back to bite you when they are teenagers.

Just admit it. What's the worst they can do? They are your kids not theirs.

These fines are bullshit. We should go back to the old system where only the people who took the piss had a problem.

I'm tired.

Until the fines outweigh the savings from going outside school holidays, people will continue to take their kids out. We take ours out for an event each year, usually just a day missed. I request it in advance, explain why I think it should be authorised (they do receive some teaching at the event) but say I appreciate it might not be (it rarely is). School sends the template grumpy refusal letter they’re told to send and we all carry on like before. Very unlikely to be fined for less than 5 days, and if it was ever more than 5 days then I’d probably factor that in to the cost of taking them away.

Schools are under huge pressure since they went back after covid to keep attendance up, it’s pretty relentless, I’m not even sure many heads agree with it as a policy but they don’t have a lot of choice - DfE is being very firm about enforcing attendance.

Has the school actually asked you to respond OP, or just sent a grumpy “I know what you did last half term” letter? If they’re not seeking a response then I’d just ignore it and go about your business!

It is like when dealing with children. If you force them into a situation where they have to lie, then they lie.

If the state chooses to push parents into a situation where they have no choice but to lie, then that is their problem, not yours. This is state control and wholly unacceptable. Lying is not great but then being under the thumb of the state instead of being able to make your own parenting decisions is not great either.

They had a sickness bug - end of. If they start an inquisition with your children the that it totally out of order and you go to the safeguarding lead and complain.

We took all our children out of school for 2 weeks after the Easter break as there was no other way we could holiday as a family because of my OH's working responsibilities - they have degrees and MAs now.

Thank you 😊

The state hasn't forced anyone into anything. For 3 days holiday the worst that would happen is unauthorised absence being put on their file.

I never know whether posts like this are serious...

When I read threads like this I often think of the fact that when I was a child (I'm 34), my parents could take me out of school without consequence, of course they didn't do it often but if it was a day or two so we could go on holiday then they did. We benefitted hugely from those holidays.

This generation of parents have been hammered with a load of shit that previous generations didn't have to deal with. I'm not going to be told I'm a bad parent for taking my kids out of school for one day to get away on the first holiday they've had for years.

Agree with all of this!