I lied to school about children sickness and went on holiday

[kgabe]

So before anyone decides to go hard on me, I have never ever lied about kids sickness before. I don't know why I did it this time, I guess money is tight, we worked hard to be able to afford the holiday, but still could not afford the holiday in half term, so we decided to take kids out of school for 3 days. I reported my children to have sickness. And off we went.
But unsure why, probably based on their hunch, school called me the next day. I did not answer, just sent them a message instead. But they replied they got an international ringing tone....ooops... i did not even reply to that. When we got back I got a letter suggesting I lied, that kids were on holiday instead of home poorly, etc. I don't know what to do, I hate lying and I regret not telling the truth, but has it gone too far now to just admit I lied? I can also expect the fine for my children, well tough I suppose. But I feel like a criminal, like I did something unspeakable. But I only allowed for my family to have a wonderful time together, we has such a great time, it is really priceless. My kids are both doing great academically and their abscence was above 95%. What is everyone's take on it? Should I own up now? Or deny it still.... And are they allowed to question my children without my permission about it?
Thank you

Local authority staff at airports! How do they even know who you are? Anyone that asks for my details while out on the street or on the phone gets very short shrift! Unless it's the police making an arrest you have no obligation to give your details to random busybodies!

Op -I'd just ignore it. I've always been upfront when removing DS (only missed 2 days for a holiday back in year 2). I wouldn't admit to lying nor would I double down - I'd just ignore their request for a holiday form and if I got a fine I'd pay it.

Why make it so negative.

These people are educating you children!

as I said upthread. I explained that the cost was prohibitive to go day after term ended so they wouldn’t be in on last day but fully accepted would not be authorised.

head said - you are correct. Not authorised but hope you and children have a wonderful holiday.

i read some of these posts, such as this one, and I can’t quite get my head around idea of them being parents!

Thank you ❤️

Happily we didn't have these kinds of policies when I was growing up. I don't seem to have been held back at all academically or professionally by having missed a few days of school here and there when my parents made a decision to take a trip during term time.

I think we will see more and more of this as cost of living, and particularly travel costs, increase. Eventually there will be pushback, policies will change, and someday we'll be amazed to look back and remember that things worked in this way and that ordinary parents were chastised by schools and other parents for doing something so innocuous.

Ugh, it’s ridiculous. My son is being taught nothing whatsoever in Reception yet the leaflets about attendance are quite hysterical. I don’t take him out except for illness because it’s good to get him into the habit of good attendance and he mostly likes it, but a day here or there would make no difference at all. He’d learn more at home, actually, as I take the time to listen to him read and help him with his writing. At school it seems to be free play, free play, and episodes of Numberblocks.

You knew the school policy so all the ‘it’s not a crime, I’m not a bad parent, other parents aren’t as good as me’ stuff just doesn’t wash. If my kids are caught out telling a lie or making an ass of themselves, I just tell them to own up, take the L and while embarrassing it’s much better in the long run. Own up and take the fine-for goodness sake, don’t say you were working abroad and your dh looked after them and all that rubbish as you just make everything worse-especially if your kids tell the truth. It’s not fair to ask them to lie for you and sets a bad example. It isn’t the crime of the century, so own it.

Well, the OP for starters

Honestly, I totally get why you lied. I’d just play silly buggers and pretend you have no idea what they’re talking about re the international dialling tone

Don't lie. If you have lied, that's regrettable, but never too late to put it right by telling the truth.
Tell the school.
Say you are sorry, you got yourself in a state about it, you realise now you didn't take the approach you would have liked to ... but you wish to be honest now and fact is, you were on holiday ... that's the truth.

On the basis of your somewhat dramatic woe me Op

i would hazard a guess that you most certainly aren’t immune to fibbing and exaggerating

and why you feel “guilty” now, is because you got caught. I wouldn’t feel guilty in your shoes, I’d feel embarrassed I had womaned the hell up, and said you know it will be unauthorised and your apologies for putting them in this position but due to prohibitive costs, the children won’t be in on last three days of school.

i wonder how these kind of people get on at work!

My dn works in a primary school where the head is having to do 250 meetings with parents about lack of attendance.
Nothing to do with holidays, it’s a very deprived area.
I really couldn’t get worked up about 3 days unauthorised holiday.
At least your dc are being cared for by parents that are raising their dc in a happy and secure environment.
Some pp’s on here need to chill out about school attendance.
I took both mine out twice each, pre fine thank goodness, they both have degrees and a very good work ethic.

What fine... OP cant be fined for missing 3 days (fines come after missing 5 week days) especially without proof the kids weren't actually sick.

Oh fuck off 😂😂😂

There is a different ring tone if you are calling someone who is abroad. I’v done it myself.

I'd 100% brazen this out OP - they can't prove it and I'd be fuming that they've treated you like a bloody criminal. It's school, not the bloody Hunger Games.

Oh that's a shame Op, the fine is bugger all so take it on the chin and move on. We took my son out of school for a 5 day holiday (UK, not abroad) and said he was poorly, rNg every day etc and on the Monday when he went back, his teacher breezing said "Hiya Scaryier Jr, how was your holiday?" and nothing more was said 😂

I totally agree Cait. It is none of their business. So what if your kids say they have been on holiday. And if a teacher pointed this out I would just say they are saying that to wind you up. I feel like this is edging into you acting like the police force.

So… if that is your stance

why not own it?

say prohibitive costs means you accept an unauthorised absence mark

@Razzle5 Because they fine you. I would lie and lie even when it is obvious to teachers I am lying. I would not care.
All these middle-class mums' pearl-clutching about what will the teacher think makes me laugh. Who cares? It is none of their business.

“these kind of people” 😂😂

I'd plead mental health as an excuse. Say you're at breaking point and you all needed a break to get away but that you couldn't afford it during term-time.

Giving you a fine and a slap on the wrist isn't going to help your mental health, if anything it's just shaming you for doing something any normal person would do in a difficult situation.

I think the benefit of going on holiday is massively underestimated for your mental health. It's such an important thing to do to get away.

Say all their fixating on your 'crime' means your mental health has plummeted and you're not considering another trip to the doctor blah blah blah.

just guilt them if you have to. And probably some of it's true anyway.

Three days - it's nothing, it's mostly on the kids to actually DO the work and the parents to make sure the kids DO DO the work. I have a feeling you'll have helped them, not hindered them, by giving them a nice holiday.

So I'd not give two figs about taking them out.

These kind of people! So much pearly clutching.

I'm middle class and I couldn't give a fuck what the teachers think.

My kids, my rules. If we need a break we need a break. End of.

So many posters saying “fuck em”

but the response seems to meekly lie about illness.

Fuck ‘em, got for it

but at least have that same approach to how you deal with it, namely like an adult. Honest, upfront, accepting of consequence and that won’t be authorised, apologising for any inconvenience…. And then, enjoying your holiday

Good for you!