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Original poster

I lied to school about children sickness and went on holiday

407 replies

kgabe · 31/10/2022 11:43

So before anyone decides to go hard on me, I have never ever lied about kids sickness before. I don't know why I did it this time, I guess money is tight, we worked hard to be able to afford the holiday, but still could not afford the holiday in half term, so we decided to take kids out of school for 3 days. I reported my children to have sickness. And off we went.
But unsure why, probably based on their hunch, school called me the next day. I did not answer, just sent them a message instead. But they replied they got an international ringing tone....ooops... i did not even reply to that. When we got back I got a letter suggesting I lied, that kids were on holiday instead of home poorly, etc. I don't know what to do, I hate lying and I regret not telling the truth, but has it gone too far now to just admit I lied? I can also expect the fine for my children, well tough I suppose. But I feel like a criminal, like I did something unspeakable. But I only allowed for my family to have a wonderful time together, we has such a great time, it is really priceless. My kids are both doing great academically and their abscence was above 95%. What is everyone's take on it? Should I own up now? Or deny it still.... And are they allowed to question my children without my permission about it?
Thank you

OP posts:
EweCee · 31/10/2022 12:07

There is no way a Y6 child would be able to keep a holiday like that secret!

Hoppinggreen · 31/10/2022 12:08

JustMaggie · 31/10/2022 11:54

I have never heard of an "international ringing tone". I think they're bluffing and I wouldn't admit to it if it were me.

It’s a thing. If you call a mobile overseas it sounds different.
OP, you aren’t a bad parent but you did behave badly in this instance

MrsR87 · 31/10/2022 12:08

I’m a teacher and I don’t blame you at all to be honest! I wish I could do the same for the old day here and there 😝

Know this though, the kids always tell either friends of teachers that they are going in holiday! Sometimes the teacher will clock the “ill” note on the register when the pupil has been going on about their amazing holiday all week and sometimes it will be their friends that land them in it…” he’s not on holiday Miss, he’s in Spain!”

BagOfBollocks · 31/10/2022 12:08

And I doubt the school had a 'hunch'. They'd spend all day every day ringing parents if that was the case.

Someone (probably the DC) let the cat out of the bag.

TheaBrandt · 31/10/2022 12:09

You obviously have the same curse as me op am a law abiding swotty type if I ever do anything even the slightest bit wrong I get caught! Honesty the best policy !

Razzle5 · 31/10/2022 12:09

Has the school actually asked for a response?

user1496146479 · 31/10/2022 12:10

JustMaggie · 31/10/2022 11:54

I have never heard of an "international ringing tone". I think they're bluffing and I wouldn't admit to it if it were me.

Have you just been born?? Confused

OrangePumpkinLobelia · 31/10/2022 12:10

MrsR87 · 31/10/2022 12:08

I’m a teacher and I don’t blame you at all to be honest! I wish I could do the same for the old day here and there 😝

Know this though, the kids always tell either friends of teachers that they are going in holiday! Sometimes the teacher will clock the “ill” note on the register when the pupil has been going on about their amazing holiday all week and sometimes it will be their friends that land them in it…” he’s not on holiday Miss, he’s in Spain!”

yes or in the case of my Year 8's classmates ; 'She's not ill she's at Disney orlando! Look at my phone to see the facebook pictures!!!!'. Grin

Original poster
kgabe · 31/10/2022 12:10

They asked us to fill in a holiday form for the 3 days when the kids were absent

OP posts:
Raindancer411 · 31/10/2022 12:11

I would be found out too as that's my luck and I always done as I should, but know so many who have taken the kids out a lot. They just paid the fine as was still cheaper.

OldTinHat · 31/10/2022 12:11

Just say you were abroad with work and the DC were at home with their DF or family?

OrangePumpkinLobelia · 31/10/2022 12:12

(wasn't us at Disney orlando just to be clear. I am also a law abiding swotty type who worries myself to death about things).

Mumtofourandnomore · 31/10/2022 12:12

I think you should just own up. The school know you were on holiday, so by continuing the lie they’ll forever think that you are a liar - I wouldn’t like that perception myself.

I’d just come completely clean so the kids don’t have to perpetuate the lie. It might be a big thing for you to own up, but it’s probably just a run of the mill admin task for them - forgotten quickly and at least they might trust you going forward.

I’d probably do it verbally though, rather than writing it down…..

MyOnlyDays · 31/10/2022 12:13

Oh dear, that's really embarrassing. What have you told your kids to say? My kids wouldn't be able to lie.

You won't be the first person to be caught out in the same type of lie. Some people won't care but if you generally like to give the impression that you are honest then it's going to be awkward.

I'd admit it, apologise and pay the fine. Its honestly not the end of the world.

Its really good you had a brilliant holiday. 😊. I lived overseas when my kids were little and I'd take each one of them out of school for a days skiing with just the two of us each year. The kids are adults now and still remember those skive'y ski days more than any other ski days. (Although TBF the schoool didn't care)

PollyAmour · 31/10/2022 12:15

Own up then forget all about it.

I have 4 children and seeing the difference in price between a school holiday date and any other date, when booking a family holiday, was galling. I can see why you did it.

Neighneigh · 31/10/2022 12:15

Hi op, just remember that the person emailing you is a human with a job to do. Schools need to make sure they know where pupils are, and that if they're healthy, they're in school. They are not the police and they can't do anything further except help you understand that taking kids out in term time can be distributive.

I know these things can make us feel incredibly anxious but by next week it will be chip paper, I promise. I would just email back and say that you due to costs you did decide to take them out and now realise your mistake, that you value the education your kids get and you appreciate that it was the wrong thing to do. Best wishes Family XYZ and leave it at that. Kettle on!

MavisChunch29 · 31/10/2022 12:17

Yet there is absolute tonnes of children, who parents cannot be even bothered to send to school, I bet they don't feel even half as crappy as I do..

Not in my experience there aren't. There are lots of kids who struggle to attend school regularly though for various reasons (mental and physical health issues) and their parents also get regularly fined and taken to court, and acused of taking them on term time holidays, even though they would dearly love their kids to be able to just go to school. And they feel a lot more crappy than you do, trust me.

Katapolts · 31/10/2022 12:19

kgabe · 31/10/2022 12:10

They asked us to fill in a holiday form for the 3 days when the kids were absent

So you have a choice.
Fill in the holiday form - you may or may not get a fine depending on your LA policy (mine is 4 days absence before a fine).

Or just send it back with a note saying they were off sick.

Or just ignore.

Tillow4ever · 31/10/2022 12:20

I'd apologise for lying and tell them the truth now. Maybe explain things are tight financially, and that you wanted to take them in the holidays, but you really couldn't afford to.

Also, you say your youngest is in reception. IF they do fine you (I don't think they will), do not accept a fine for the youngest. Legally they don't have to be in school until the term after their fifth birthday. If in Reception now, the earliest that could be is January.

You could also try saying that as your eldest is going up to secondary next year, and your youngest will legally have to be in school from then as well, you wanted one last chance to take them abroad as you definitely can't afford it after this year.

HaggisBurger · 31/10/2022 12:21

JustMaggie · 31/10/2022 11:54

I have never heard of an "international ringing tone". I think they're bluffing and I wouldn't admit to it if it were me.

Have you never called someone abroad 😂

LanaDooleyx3 · 31/10/2022 12:21

OP please don't get yourself so worried about this. It's really not a big deal.

You aren't the first, certainly won't be the last. Don't make a habit of it obviously but ultimately, you're not going to get a fine for 3 days anyway.

Wouldn't personally bat an eyelid at this, wouldn't even respond.

JustMaggie · 31/10/2022 12:24

I'm American and call my family often. Ring tone sounds the same 🤷‍♀️

VickyEadieofThigh · 31/10/2022 12:25

The worst bit is embroiling your children in a lie, in my opinion. As a good parent, you (presumably) teach your children that lying is wrong - then you offered them this as a modelled behaviour.

As others have said, children always let the cat out of the bag. Every time.

CoveredInCobwebs · 31/10/2022 12:27

JustMaggie · 31/10/2022 12:24

I'm American and call my family often. Ring tone sounds the same 🤷‍♀️

It's when you call a British phone and that phone is overseas. The tone is definitely different.

Brefugee · 31/10/2022 12:28

But I feel a bit persecuted by the school, Gosh, it's like I committed some atrocious crime, I feel so guilty and anxious... hefty price to pay for a bit of happiness I got with my kids on holiday.

meh. You knew you were lying and knew it was wrong and now you feel bad because you've been found out. Lots of people can't afford to take their kids away for half term - especially not abroad. So all you have to do is admit it. And see what comes.