I lied to school about children sickness and went on holiday

[kgabe]

So before anyone decides to go hard on me, I have never ever lied about kids sickness before. I don't know why I did it this time, I guess money is tight, we worked hard to be able to afford the holiday, but still could not afford the holiday in half term, so we decided to take kids out of school for 3 days. I reported my children to have sickness. And off we went.
But unsure why, probably based on their hunch, school called me the next day. I did not answer, just sent them a message instead. But they replied they got an international ringing tone....ooops... i did not even reply to that. When we got back I got a letter suggesting I lied, that kids were on holiday instead of home poorly, etc. I don't know what to do, I hate lying and I regret not telling the truth, but has it gone too far now to just admit I lied? I can also expect the fine for my children, well tough I suppose. But I feel like a criminal, like I did something unspeakable. But I only allowed for my family to have a wonderful time together, we has such a great time, it is really priceless. My kids are both doing great academically and their abscence was above 95%. What is everyone's take on it? Should I own up now? Or deny it still.... And are they allowed to question my children without my permission about it?
Thank you

For what? You just look like a wanker and prove you can't be trusted, and increase the chances the school will in fact throw the book at you on absence the first time they have the chance. It's not clever, its stupid, and all the stupider for how clever it thinks it is. The school don't fucking care if children doing well get taken out for 3 days on a holiday. They care they were lied to. You're throwing away any chance of an important relationship being constructive for the sake of your own ego.

You can be totally brazen and demand to know why they were checking up on you and ask them outright if they are accusing you of lying, if they say yes, keep up the brazenness and tell the your complaining about their inappropriate behaviour. Fair enough if they have safeguarding concerns about your children but to just be pushing this because you went on holiday is ridiculous, especially as you won’t qualify to be fined as your children were out for 3 days. And even if they do suspect you went on holiday how are they going to prove it? And to be honest no council or court will care.

Or, you can be honest. Again you still can’t be fined and so what if you did take your DCs out, what’s the school going to do?

If they question your children, complain about them, your children are not part of this, they should not be quizzed by teachers, that’s overstepping their boundaries. If the school have issues with you “allegedly” lying they should be taking it up with you.

I couldn’t imagine my DCs school pushing this. Even when holidays have not been authorised I’ve heard the HT reassure parents they won’t be fined as it’s under the threshold for fines and go have a good time.

You do not look like a wanker ffs. People here are so vile at times.
You just look like someone lying so you do not get fined. Hardly the worse thing in the world. Fines should not exist anyway.

💯this!!!

Ignore it.
the government shut schools for months and months during covid ffs - I don’t see how they can get excited about 3 days off.
The kids also could have also been unwell whilst you were away of course !

They don't usually fine until after 10 missed sessions, which is 5 days. However, if you have already had 5 days in the past 2 years, the LA can proceed straight to court with any subsequent time off.

You should probably just own up now, you were caught out by the ring tone, lesson learned, don't answer the phone to school when you are on holiday. (Although they can activate safeguarding procedures if they can't get hold of you, so hard choice).

I took DD out of Y6 , after her SATS, to take her to DLP. I don't regret it, I didn't get a fine despite missing 10 sessions as they messed up the paperwork. I did make sure that we didn't go anywhere in term time for the next 2 years though

"money is tight" yet you feel sorry for yourself so you take your children abroad on holiday during half term??? (international ring tone etc)

Tbh, as a former attendance officer it is more just plain old annoying when a parent blatantly lies. For 3 days you wouldn't be fined unless you had lots of other absences, so lying was just silly. You're not being persecuted, but they're letting you know that they know you lied to them.

I had a parent pull the absolute most blatant series of lies as to why his child wasn't in school for a while week. On a hunch I looked on his Facebook to see pics of them on holiday. 🙄

I think you should just apologise and say what you have written here: “I must apologise. I really don’t know what I was thinking when I said the children were I’ll. we were desperate to go on holiday, but could not afford to do so during half term (assuming that is truly the case). I know I should have just said what we were doing and apologise for misleading. I have/will ensure my children catch up with their school work. Hopefully, they are refreshed from having a restful holiday and proceed to do well academically the rest of term”.
if the school imposes a penalty, you should accept and pay.
it really isn’t good to show your children they can lie to get out of doing something they don’t want to do, or lie to do something to eg shouldn’t do.

Ignore and change the subject if they ask you about it when you collect your kids.

No wonder people choose to home school primary age children. If I hadn't left the UK for a better education for my children, I'd have home schooled them instead. The grossly underfunded system is not fit for purpose. 😠

For crying out loud, you should have just told school you were going and paid the fine if you get one. I was open and honest with school the one time we did it and didn’t get fined.

Our head teacher made it clear that when parents lie over this it damages the trust that there needs to be between home and school. you need to come clean now and stop digging any deeper.

Just don't engage , the school has no jurisdiction over you

Let them prove it.

You should also bear in mind that some local authorities have had staff at airports outside school holiday times checking whether families have permission to take kids out if school. Someone at our school got caught like that a few years ago. She got a warning only but said it was very embarrassing.

the ring tone is different when you ring out of UK.

Staff at airports? crikey in our school district they have a job keeping staff at schools without shipping them off to sneakily check parents at airports. Lunatics really are running the asylum if that's true FFS.

Did you Facebook the holiday? I bet someone snitched.

^This, OP.
You've already informed the school of sick absence.They can assume all they want.
Ignore the holiday form.

Could it be the school wants to manage their absence numbers and if they can account for your children's absence in another way it helps them? Maybe they could just give you a 'warning'? It's a bummer but the rules apply to everyone so if you knowingly lied and have been caught out just be cool now. Don't pile lie upon lie - it's not good for you or for your DC as an example.

Goodness all the drama, it was wonderful, priceless. I’m being persecuted

you found it cheaper to go on holiday and lied to avoid the fine and are caught. Grow up

Agree, this.

I've always taken my kids out claiming illness most years, at the end of terms for a day or two. Makes a massive difference in the holiday costs and it's not like they're being paid a salary, so no harm done in my view.

Tbh the schools mine have attended possibly suspected but never said anything or questioned it. Both my kids are doing well and have excellent attendance otherwise (never off ill really).

Examples of different ring (ring back) tones used internationally

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ringing_tone

You can for sure hear the difference if you're paying attention.

Not sure why the American in the UK hasn't heard anything unusual, unless it's more that they are so used to the US style ringback it just seems normal.

some people are nuts. I’m glad you had a good holiday and really in the grand scheme of things who cares if you told a lie.

I work in primary. The kids ALWAYS let the cat out of the bag. You should’ve just said you were taking them out .We don’t report 3 days if attendance is that high.

I am a very good parent and like I said, never did it before, and defo won't be doing it again.

Sorry but the rest of us actually keep our kids in school to get a good education and take them on holiday in the (many) weeks they have between terms.

You deserve a fine for what you did, you already knew it was wrong and now your kids have to (at best) look bad for missing school for a stupid reason and (at worst) lie on your behalf.

Really don't understand why some people do this and think it's okay.