Now worried about holiday, as intending to leave Dc's in room while we eat...

[OutragedfromTunbridgeWells]

we're going to villa Pia (as recommende on MN) where children eat early and then go to bed and parents eat later all together.

This seemed a great idea to me before.

but now obviously with tragic and frightening abduction of Madeleine, it's playing on my mind and feel we cannot do this.

Are any others having such dilemmas? what should we think/do??

Surley I'm not the only one now with this fear/dilemma?

What will others now do?

Where will you be eating later? If it is someone as close as her parents were I still would...

We are meant to be going to same MW resort in Portugal in 4 wks time & had selected same apt block in order to use our baby monitor and keep checking on the kids. Can't express how sick and upset I feel - don't want to go at all now, think if you do leave your kids now even for 10 mins you will be so panicky and not enjoy the time. Don't think mine will leave my side now. My heart just goes out to that poor family.

I heard that MW were swapping resorts for some families who felt that they did not want to do there - it may be worth having a chat to them?

i think that probably you would want to take the decision when you get there, once you've seen the circumstances and the security. all the parents are going to feel similarly, so any tourist place is going to know that pepole will have fears and presumably seek to allay them. find out about monitors, camera ones if necessary...
the thing is, though, what happened to that wee girl is a one in a million. that's why her parents, not unreasonably, thought she'd be fine.

sorry - "go" there....

I suppose it depends on how safe you feel it is.

What happened in Portugal is very rare but then that is no comfort to poor Madeline's family.

I personally would not leave my child alone in a room because I would be concerned about fire or an intruder breaking in with the intention to steal which does happen a lot in holiday resorts.

You need to weigh up how good the security is? Do they have a nanny service or baby listening? You need to wait and see how it feels when you get there.

am i the only person who wouldn't leave the kids in an apartment by themselves reagrdless of if a poor little girl had just been abducted?
wouldn't leave them even with a monitor i'm afraid. if there is a babysitting service i would use that, if not we would eat ealry with the kids and then go back for drinks at the apartment. it is a fmaily holiday if i wanted couple time i would arrange a night away or an evening out and use a babysitter or relative.
i am not just worried about the children being abducted but in 15 mins to half an hour a lot can happen if kids are left alone, even if they are asleep, what if they wake up and don't know where you are, fire, leak, any number of things could go wrong and you wouldn't be there to help in time.
i dread to think how those poor parents feel and i hope the girl is returened alive and well, but part of em can't help thinking if they ahdn't have been left it wouldn't have happened.
i am sure i will get some comments for ahiving said it, but that is my opinion, obviously i wouldn't wish what had happened on ym worst enemy and i don't often pray but i do hope she comes home safely.

tbh somewhere like that I still might, although as our kids are getting older they would probably still be up well into the evening. Such incidents are very rare and Villa Pia is a stand alone, almost houseparty type set up.

I think you're right Aitch. All other parents there will be in same position, si decide when we're there, see how secure it is and discuss it with others.

i'm thinking we may all just keep children up later now instead but will have to see.

that 1 in a million risk made it seem Ok before. we've done it before quite happily. But now it's happened it feels like no risk can ever be taken.

illogical but true

No, luby, you are not.

Admittedly, I am foreign, but I'd never have considered it.

I grew up in places where kidnapping of both adults and children is common, unfortunately, so the idea of this practice strikes me as very different and not something I would entertain.

That's NOT meant to slight anyone in the least, it's just a cultural practice very different to mine. What is more common in the culture I grew up in is to take a relative along on holiday and then switch out which adult is on 'duty' with the children.

Or to leave young children at home with grandparents/aunt's family, etc.

I would never and have never left them alone. It is illegal in Britain and it should be illegal in any country.
It is just one of those things we have accepted as being parents. We all eat together and then me and the children stay in the room whilst hubby or I goes have some quiet time.
So many things could happen, that in my eyes nothing is worth the risk.

id rather eat with my children. at home or on holiday. i dont like the idea of adults eating seperately. eating together is the most social activity there is. why would you want to eat seperately? its beyond me

how funny, outraged. i am the proud owner of the name DisgustedofTunbridgeWells. we're practically twins.
i think it's a fair point you make, luby, but i would tend to take things as i find them and make my mind up. i was at a massive house party over christmas for the weekend and was much further away from my dd than those parents were. (although in the same house, technically). i think that's the Villa Pia idea, rather than an apartment complex. and even then, the MW hols are supposed to be secure, that's why people pay so much for them. it's hard to say what i'd do without seeing for myself.

agreed, naily. the reason we left dd to eat was because there weren't other children present and the other adults weren't in kid mode, iykwim? you don't know that wasn't a one-off for those parents, some sort of event or other...

(It's not actually illegal, there is no legal age to leave a child, but you are responsible for any risk they are put at).

also, its the holidays, children should be allowed to stay up late

when we go away we eat together, find a nice bar and watch the sun go down over the beach or whatever. girls have a laugh with other children running about, etc, then all go in about 1030 or 11

Along with the whole abduction thing, there's also the worry about what would you do if there was a fire in the hotel. We're going to a wedding later this year and although it's a very nice hotel, they don't have a babysitting service which quite annoyed me. Instead they said I could leave the children in the room at night. But if there was a fire, I certainly wouldn't want to risk getting them out safely as the hotel is huge. I know things like that are rare but I'd only ever go somewhere where it's not necessary to leave them alone or have a babysitter.

I have never left ds but think it is ok if you are cool with that.I agree with naily let them stay up and all eat together thats what a holiday is imo But otoh if you usually leave them and check I am sure it will be fine this is a very rare occurence and I am sure resorts are going to step up security now

I also have to say i would not leave my kids & this is not just from what has happened to poor Madeleine but before this, other countries love kids, i think if your on holiday as a family does it really hurt to put your kids in a buggy & take them with you? surly they can sleep in the buggy if needed.

I don't just worry about them being taken but also in the case of a fire, a burglary, flood anything i would never relax knowing my kids were left asleep in an apartment/hotel resort even if i was just down stairs.

This is only my opinion & obviously we are all different, but let me ask you something would any of you leave your kids in your house, with a monitor or not & pop to the local shop? i know i would'nt so why do it on holiday?

I would talk to MW & see what they say about things, also i suppose it is down to you, your there parents you know your kids but please think of the risks, yes it is a one in a million chance what has happened but i am sure Madeleins parents thought they would not be that 1 in 1 million now they are finding there family in these devastating circumstances.

nailpolish - it depends what age they are thogh. My 7 month old dd goes into melt down if she isn't in bed by 6.30pm. No one would want her in a restaurant.

I think an incident like this just reminds you of the risk - sure it is one in a million, but that is no reassurance if you feel something could happen.

I did leave my children in an unlocked room at a wedding in a big country house. I kept checking on them every half hour, but did have doubts at the time. I think the truth is that in fact this sort of thing could happen if you were a heavy sleeper and were in the house.

If there is a way you can use a baby listener this might provide you with the confidence to go for dinner. Otherwise you will be like we have always been in hotels and sitting there by candlelight, whispering.

My children get overtired and cranky and we like adult only time sometimes.

On holiday we vary between eating together in (usually self cater) eating out together ealier, having babysitter (granparents uaully) and once staying in hotel with baby monitoring system.

I think it's bizarre that some think it's bizarre for adults to sometimes have evening adult time without kids.

On holiday we tend to eat together anyway, so I wouldn't really want to leave DD anyway.

But as others have said this is something only you can weigh up, once there and have assessed the situation. The risk of such a thing happening is so minimal.

i think its bizarre on holiday, certainly
lucky you having grandparents to babysit