Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Holidays

Use our Travel forum for recommendations on everything from day trips to the best family-friendly holiday destinations.

Original poster

Now worried about holiday, as intending to leave Dc's in room while we eat...

357 replies

OutragedfromTunbridgeWells · 07/05/2007 16:20

we're going to villa Pia (as recommende on MN) where children eat early and then go to bed and parents eat later all together.

This seemed a great idea to me before.

but now obviously with tragic and frightening abduction of Madeleine, it's playing on my mind and feel we cannot do this.

Are any others having such dilemmas? what should we think/do??

OP posts:
nailpolish · 07/05/2007 17:30

lucyellen that was totally uncalled for - no one is is a smug fucker

ScoobyDooooo · 07/05/2007 17:31

But surly people are not being "smug fuckers" as you so nicely put it but just stateing what they would do? obviously some people would do it others would'nt we are not all the same that why there are different opinions, no need to be so rude is there!

nailpolish · 07/05/2007 17:31

no one on this thread as far as i can see anyway..

LucyJones · 07/05/2007 17:35

no one is being smug at all
nailpolish - sharing a holiday is a fab idea, I hadn't thougt of that!!

lucyellensmum · 07/05/2007 17:35

no, ok, im sorry (lucyellens mum blushes at outburst) my apologies, you are right, uncalled for and irrelivant(and i cant spell), sorry sorry i didnt mean to offend, a case of engage brain before operating fingers.

Original poster
OutragedfromTunbridgeWells · 07/05/2007 17:35

Oh LIZ I han't even thought about that. Our children at this villa will not even be in the same room as us. We have interconnecting rooms.

Oh dear, it really is the fear of God now isn't it to leave them alone at all?

This thread was definetky NOT to slate those desparate parents in their nightmare. I hope that was clear.

OP posts:
nailpolish · 07/05/2007 17:38

but outraged they arent in the same room as you at home

LIZS · 07/05/2007 17:39

Sorry didn't mean to add to your concerns. Can you leave the adjoining door open and lock both external ones ?

AitchTwoOh · 07/05/2007 17:39

this is starting to make me lol, now. every second post on the other thread was begging that no one judged the McCanns for leaving the baby and yelling at the 'judgers' yet i Just Couldn't See any judging going on. fucksakes, it's a terrible, terrible situation but give all the hand-wringing a rest, it's puerile and embarrassing.

we're adults, they're adults, we all take risks all the time. Some people take different risks from others, that's all. i'd likely have taken the risk on a Very Expensive Mark Warner family-friendly holiday. i wouldn't if it was a more adult environment. or maybe i would, who knows? let's at least be able to talk about whether Outraged and co should feel more worried on holiday than they did a week ago without getting all hysterical.

and Outraged, please don't bother changing your name, i've only used Disgusted a few times as a joke. as a matter of interest, i'd reckon that the MW resorts will be the safest places in the world for at least the next few months.

WendyWeber · 07/05/2007 17:40

I saw a plan of the village somewhere today - there is a public road running right past the back of that apartment, where the children's room was

Original poster
OutragedfromTunbridgeWells · 07/05/2007 17:41

No I know, and we eat downstairs without them. Even go in the garden.

It's illogical, but the fear that it could be you is so terrifying.

I think you're right we'll assess it once we're there. and DCs are a bit older now so will probaly be able to stay up later and enjoy it.
Thanks NP

OP posts:
AitchTwoOh · 07/05/2007 17:43

oh right, x-posted with lucyellensmum... i can't get over how personally involved everyone feels in this. the world really is made up of very different people, eh?i'm gutted for them, and hopeful that she'll come back but it's not interfered overly with my sleep.

anyway, back to the issue at hand. can you get portable video baby monitors? would that solve a problem?

Blu · 07/05/2007 17:44

If you are somewhere very hot, why not do exactly what the locals do and operate round a siesta? The sun is far too hot for small children in the afternoon - have a sleep, and then they wil not be whingy and tired in the evening. That's what we do - and the beach is surprisingly lovely in the early evening, and the children can enjoy the cooler evening and eat with you.

PeachyChocolateEClair · 07/05/2007 17:45

Its up to others what they consider safe and when things go wrong as with poor Maddy the only eprson to be criticised is the utter tosser who took her. BUT I can't say i've ever left my botys on holiday nor even thought of it. we don't have babysitters within 60 miles 9and theyc an't drive) so we don't go out without them, we do make the drive occasionally. We go out to lunch wothout them (my Dh works nights so a bit different).

We just got back froma camping trip where in the space of literally 30 seconds some bizarre children shut ds3 (almost 4 but delayed soe ffectively 2) in the loo block, they were harmless but it does show that if people are determined- it was literally the time it took me to pour a mug of hot water for coffee.

As well as fore etc i'd be worried the children got up and got into an accident, a child in a coma doesn't cry to a babysitter listening from outdoors after all. I should point out 2 of mine are ASD though and I don't know so well what I could expect of a child who was NT

RubberDuck · 07/05/2007 17:48

We've shared a villa before now with another family - although you do have to be careful to go with VERY good friends and be laid back about any possible friction

We used to have most of our meals out on the patio of the villa (this was Spain and because of the higher theft rate there were bars on all the windows, and lockable gates over the doors so no-one could break in at the front, iyswim) then a few nights we all ate early at the local restaurants with kids (restaurants were very good with kids in tow) and then we'd take turns to go out as couples while the other babysat.

Did it a few years in a row and they were great holidays. Only stopped because of ds1 going to school and not wanting to pull him out during term time (couldn't afford school holiday flight costs). So now we go camping in the UK instead and still get our "adult" time sipping wine in front of the camper while they sleep

dinny · 07/05/2007 17:50

Yeah, agree totally with siesta idea, late play on beach, bath kids and put in comfy clothes then all go out to eat later.

WendyWeber · 07/05/2007 17:54

How old are your children, outraged? Would they go along with the siesta idea?

Original poster
OutragedfromTunbridgeWells · 07/05/2007 17:54

DH seems to think we can just go ahead and do as we planned, as he says this is a toattly differnt situation. Like a house party with adults eating downstairs.

I don't know.

I do think though you over emphasise the risk near to events like this. I remeber after the London bombings we wouldn't take Dcs to London until about 2 yrs later then we did (but not on tube).

It is all illogical assessment of risk i know.

OP posts:
tiredemma · 07/05/2007 17:55

sorry - hijack-

Outraged have replied to the florida thing on my old 'FQ or Riverside?' thread

Original poster
OutragedfromTunbridgeWells · 07/05/2007 17:55

Yep siesta idea might work well. they are 7 and 4. we did this last year on the nights when we were all going out.

Evenings in the sun are great

OP posts:
Cloudhopper · 07/05/2007 17:58

I think that the frightening events in Portugal have made everyone re-evaluate when and where they would ever let their children out of sight. I also think that this is a normal reaction, and that I haven't detected any smugness, but much more of the "there but for the grace of god go I".

I suppose we would all like to think that we live in a world where you don't have to worry every waking moment about some stranger abducting your children.

In all likelihood we will all watch them like hawks for a few weeks, then change some of the things we do for a long time.

lubyluby · 07/05/2007 20:08

blu- you are so right that is exactly what we do, we all have a siesta, the youngest usually still has an afternoon/lunch time nap anyway so we all have one that way the kids are happier to stay awake later, and we can have a nice family evenings and on the occassions the kids aren't up to it, we go back to the hotel and have afew drinks on the balcony while the kids sleep.

p.s map of the complex showed restaurant further away form appt than being outside by the pool in a villa or in your back garden, unless oyu happen to live in a mansion. again i stae i am absolutley not slagging them off, i just have never left the kids on holiday unless with grandparents or friends.
i hope the poor little girl comes back safe and unharmed.

expatinscotland · 07/05/2007 21:19

No one is judging!

It's not something I would do. Just strikes me as not something I'd do.

There's no condemnation in that.

FFS.

These threads all go one way.

nailpolish · 08/05/2007 07:45

Peachy,
but surely leaving a child to sleep upstairs in the bedroom while you sip wine outside is the same whether you are in a villa in spain or your own back garden?

"a child in a coma doesnt cry to a babysitter listening from outdoors" you said

i just think people are panicking and its a shame

ernest · 08/05/2007 08:21

we were on holiday 2 weeks ago in a Kinderhotel in Austria. We did exactly what Madelein's parents did, the boys went to bed at usual time, or a little bit later, they went to bed and we went to the bar, popping back every now and then. there was a baby moniter but it was so shit it was literally worse than useless, so we only tried it once. (ours are 7,6 & 3 btw).

I felt totally fine with it. Obviously hearing this news made me feel sick, as we'd done the exact same thing just the week before.

I ask myself if next time we'd do differently, and the answer is, I think I'll buy a walkie-talkie type moniter that we can use anywhere, but ultimately, yes, I think we would, because as others have said, these things are thankfully so so rare. You can't live your life not doing anything just in case, or you'd never do anything.

Regarding other people's views re kids eating seperately vs,. together, at the Kinderhotel the adult meal is 6 courses and takes ages. We had breakfast and lunch together every day, but 2 of our 3 chose to eat at the kids' meal then be able to run off and play, while the eldest chose to eat with us every evening. It's really bloody boring for a little kid to sit at a table for so long. It's their holiday too, and they were given the choice and chose to have a shorter quicker meal, presumably without being nagged to use cutlery properly etc etc. And as for keeping them up till eg 10 at night. Well, everyone's different, but many children do not like a change in their routine, mine included. They are not little babies anymore, but nevertheless, there is zero chance of them sleeping for a couple of hours at lunch time and them staying up really late.

Does anyone have a good walkie-talkie like moniter they'd recommend?