To think this is utter madness

[ThatFunnyCoralScroller]

Dd is on track to study at a uni, which is quite literally a 15 to 20 min walk away. She didn't choose it due to this, but rather, it's the best uni for her degree she wants ( in Scotland anyway)
We were chatting about it, I mentioned how lucky she will be if offered a place due to not needing any student loan as she can still live at home and as a Scottish student she won't need to pay any tuition fees. That's when she informed me of her plans to move into student accommodation.
I get wanting to be independent but she can go to uni and come out with debt which will be amazing for her. She can even work part-time for spending money.
Please any advice is appreciated here

Not to mention that lack of student accommodation is a very real issue here

I lived at home for the first 18months of my degree. I hated it. It happened because I stupidly believed that I was ineligible for university accommodation. I then got there and discovered lots of people in the same position as me were in halls.

You go to university to grow up and experiment. You can’t do that in your parental home. I still feel the repercussions of that time now 20 odd years later.

Sometimes experiences are worth more than the debt.

Of course your plan is the sensible one OP. But she'll be missing out on half of the fun bits of being at uni!

OP, let her go. She needs her freedom, and she needs to be able to spread her wings and discover what sort of person she is without being accountable to her parents. Just let her grow up and be her own person.

Gosh and here I am in my 60s obviously never grew up or gained experience in anything because I never went to Uni or left home before I got married!
And my kids (in their 30s with mortgage) are the same. Im really surprised how we survived…

I lived at home while doing my degree at Glasgow University and still regret it at the age of 41!

I lived at home and never regretted it, until I saw the very different university experience my children are having living away from home.

Could you compromise? Some of my children’s friends did the first year in halls to build their social circle and stayed at home thereafter.

PP’s life experience isn’t a personal attack on you.

I actually chose a university close to home on purpose to stay at home but last minute decided to move out as it looked so much fun.
It was the making of me.

However, it was a number of years ago when it was much cheaper so I think it is a bigger decision now.
But I can see why she wants to do it!

If the student loan covers her hall costs (which it may / may not depending on how much she can get and how much it costs) then I’d say it’s not an issue - it’s her debt to pay back. However if you’re going to have to top it up to the tune of several thousand (which a lot of us have to do) then she definitely needs to run this past you first!

Oh the tricky thing is that you made an assumption based on what is wise in your own eyes.... totally understandable. She has a whole different set of variables and has come to a different conclusion. Tis hard when you have a transition to a relationship with an adult. I think about as coaching!

She’s quite right. When you go to Uni you can only really grow up and do the whole experience ‘properly’ if you live away from home. IMO. If she’s lucky enough to be able to (many aren’t due to costs) then she absolutely should.

We explored this with my son at application stage. We have 3 universities within walking distance from here. He did apply for one (the furthest c30 minute walk) but this was very much a back up option as he didn’t want to stay in London. If he had changed his mind we decided he could live in halls for the first year at least even if that meant he ended up with a longer commute. It is just so much easier to make friends if living with them in student accommodation.

Obviously staying in London and living at home, particularly as he has a casual job in here have made the most financial sense - but it wouldn’t have been right for him. He has loved and thrived in his first 2 at university.

I know it's good to move out and start adult life etc etc, but the thought of her having no debt seems amazing to me. Dh thinks that she's still gotten an advantage of being close to home as she can come home for dinner if she wants. He also mentioned that she could move back if she's struggling financially, which a lot of students won't have that advantage. We will need to top up her loan but we have saved abit for uni. That's another thing she could still have that money but go traveling or something before she starts.

Just want whats best for her and I won't stand in her way and will support her choices

It is very tempting to do one year in accom, to build friendships etc and then lice at home for the rest of the time. This is what a lot of London students do

Yes 100% It's hard isn't it?

We were in a similar situation at a Scottish uni. We live really near her insurance choice.We decided it might be a good idea to move out the first year and then come home for the following years. In the end she got her first choice and moved away anyway but I thought it was a good compromise.

I could have commuted to mine by bus but chose to live in, I think it would have been the most colossal mistake to try and live at home, I loved being in halls (and then shared houses). Of course many leave home without going to uni at all, that goes without saying, but IMO if you are going to uni you really want to embrace the entire experience, same as most of the other students. The only person on my course who stayed at home dropped out after a year, I only remember him because I was at school with him.

Might be worth her speaking to students who did similar ie chose to move out when they could have stayed at home and have now graduated. I suspect a fair number regret their decision.

She may not get uni owned accommodation if she’s so close. Obviously private halls are still an option.
It’s her choice.

Personally, I think it's utter madness to live at home as a university student - you're missing so much of the experience, and the chance to start growing up.
But, ultimately, it's the young person's choice, so please respect her wishes, OP.

We live very near a university as well...but I think if my child did go there, I'd let them stay in halls at least in the first year. Good luck in whatever you decide!

I do think that's offensive to young people who don't go to uni. I didn't but still managed to start the growing up process. From chatting to dd it's more the uni experience she wants which is fair enough.

This is something else to consider. There is a serious shortage of student accommodation in the city. I don't work directly with student accommodation but indirectly it's a issue im aware off.

I’d definitely say be realistic about the uni experience. It’s not always everything cracked up to be. If she’s so close (she’s closer than my dd in halls she’s 35 mins walk) she can go out at night and to society and careers events. My dd is at Uni of Glasgow and she chose Murano which has a party reputation and had a lively experience but I know from the parents group some in other halls having a very quiet experience. One mum posted her dd may well have stayed at home, her flatmates never go out and are even eating in their rooms.