Fledglings 2026 - support, discussion and looking after each other

[ComingInByAnsible]

A thread for parents of Year 13 leavers as they go on to universities, apprenticeships and other new adventures.

DS is off to Warwick to study PPE.

That's awful @FalteringFledgling! I bet it's not cheap either. Is there a waiting list for an alternative that she could go on?

Make a big fuss @FalteringFledgling .

My kitchen list is getting a bit too long. It's one thing to keep it minimum but - they do need enough to actually cook with! Decided it does need two saucepans. I mean cooking spaghetti bolognese you need one for the pasta and one for the bolognese. Small pans no good for cooking spaghetti. Even though mostly only one pan would get used. And a dish for cooking things in the microwave. Small pyrex dish?

Of course with an air fryer it would probably only need one saucepan!

I’m not going bonkers with kitchen equipment - though I’d like to - as the kitchen in my DD’s accommodation is quite small and it’s probably practical to see what other students bring so they don’t end up with oodles of pans. Just a few basics and we can always send stuff up to her.

Definitely going pack some hygiene stuff and something homey. She’s currently busy socialising and working though I’m itching to get started with the ‘list’. I’m hoping to get most of it sorted before I’m back at school. We’ll see!

@cominginbyAnsible TKMaxx seem to have good three ply heavy steel pans, for around £16 if I remember correctly. I wonder if my DD would be able to get sunny side up properly OR is it going to be wasting egg and oil at the same time!
I am tempted to send old pots and pans as well for now, until she know what she is doing.
I also think if DD knows what three or 4 meals she is going to cook, then it’s easier to buy pans/groceries/spices just for that. But then I am one of those plan A, plan B and then plan C person with a DD who used to look for mince meat in the fridge at 9pm on the day before food tech lesson!!

DS is off to UCL and going into SC halls. He’s on holiday at the moment but my brain won’t stop compiling a Must Do list even though I am adamant that he needs to take responsibility. I’m hoping I can quietly cross reference my list with whatever he comes up with 😆

So far though I have bought him 2 laundry bags, a clothes horse, a new bedding set, and a few packs of moisture absorbers (I might be overthinking this).

Yes it's difficult to know exactly what they will decide to cook! I had this idea of him making a pan of chilli and freezing three portions. But maybe that won't happen. I'm also slightly concerned if he'll have enough to live on. He'll only have £100 a week from us - his loan is taken by his accommodation. It sounded ok but now I'm thinking it will be very tight. He can eat for that and possibly budget for extras, but campus is full of eating places, coffee shops etc. The temptation to buy a panini at lunch-time eg - and that's £3 to £5 probably.

Oh no where is it ? Is it Manchester apparently some of their accommodation is dire.

A clothes horse is useful esp for items that can’t go in the dryer. DS used to hang his tops on the door frame of his en-suite till he decided he wanted a clothes horse. He also used the dryer but didn’t always want to pay for it.

It doesn’t say what hobs DD will have. I’ve just seen that they are upgrading the heating system to heat pumps so they’ve warned re ‘works’ being done so no lie ins for DD. But also very distracting for assignments. But there’s a library opposite her halls so she’ll just have to go there. Her halls have just had a huge upgrade which are finished so not sure if this message is for this year re heating or not erased from last year.

Rural Germany sounds so wonderful for an illustrator! Such beautiful landscapes and changing seasons to inspire her!

May I pick your brain at some point about the art school process?

@PhotoDadDS spent a week in Germany for his German A Level and stayed in a rural village outside Dresden and his lovely host family had horses and he had a great time with the local DC. He was meant to stay with another host family but they cancelled last minute so his host was very last minute. He loved it.

£100/week should be fine, @manywanderings, learning to budget might take a couple of months but it's a valuable part of the student experience!

@Lavendersong DD visited her host family for a few days and loved living on a farm! Should be very exciting and she will have plenty of time for her art.

@temperedolive Please, ask me anything! Once upon a time I started an info thread which I think is still mostly accurate:
https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/higher_education/4795276-art-and-design-at-university-for-past-present-and-future-students-and-parents?page=1

I'm currently trying to tie my hands behind my back and let DS take responsibility for planning what he needs to take (I'm a natural planner while he's quite laissez-faire, so this is very hard!!), but I do need to decide on an allowance. I was thinking of £75 a week, but wonder if this is too much? He's in fully catered accommodation (paid for separately) and doesn't drink - not a party animal at all, but I still want him to be able to take part in anything social that does take his fancy. I'm planning to pay for any initial 'stuff' as a one-off and also pay for some more clothes before he goes (he's spent so much time in school uniform that his wardrobe is pretty empty!). Does £75 sound high/low/about right for general spending?

@hoomhom mine is going to get £400 a month to include food and £300 if it doesn't. Which I think works out about the same as what you're suggesting, though if my DS keeps up with his expensive food tastes he may get a rude awakening!

One achievement yesterday - actually got DS to get his bank account swapped to a student account. He just stayed where he was and it was very straightforward and keeps the same cards and bank details.

Applying for accommodation today - he is very laid back about where he goes. Fingers crossed he gets somewhere nice.

I think from what I’ve read people tend to give anything between £50-£130 a week and anything in between. So many people tend to pay the accommodation and let kids live off the maintenance loan which is around £5k although for a 38 week student year this works out as £130 a week so seems quite a lot to me! I’m assuming my dd will continue to work at home in the holidays so won’t spend anywhere near this amount in term time.. I’m thinking we will take the first term as a test run and reevaluate after that. She is also frugal and not a drinker although will probably spend on matcha and expensive food!

I don't want DS to live off his allowance, I want him to get a part time job, so it's a fine line between giving him enough but not too much. I was thinking a supermarket gift card for food, so if he wants anything for going out etc he needs to do a bit of work.

I might do this too re paying for initial stuff, or give him money for fresher's/welcome week. I offered to pay for his gym membership too

I agree that we can see how it goes for the first semester and adjust if needed, @Onthesofawithmydog . I've committed to giving dd £75 a week. She's self-catering, so it's on the tight side, but she has some savings of her own and will have some maintenance loan left over once her accommodation is paid for, plus she wants to find a job.

We did a quick sweep of Boyes on Sunday for bedlinen, crockery etc. In all honesty, it's mainly for the symbolic value as she could have taken most of it from home, but she wanted "cute" stuff and our old belongings lack novelty. Spent £90 and we've agreed she'll supplement from charity shops etc once she's up there. She's moving to a bigger city, so it's not like we need to stock up on things she won't find there.

My main focus now is the fact that I've committed to drive her there in a hired car - I'm a nervous driver and it's further than I've ever driven and my palms are sweating at the thought of it. Single parent and nobody else to do it. She'd happily drive herself but I'd need to get the car back anyway.

@bibliomania I am having the same driving dilemma. I don't have a car and DS and partner don't drive. I am thinking of buying one of those starter kits that get delivered to your hall and is there when you arrive. Then just clothes up by train.

Anything missing can be ordered/bought when he is there.

Hi @AuntyBulgaria , I think that is sensible. Honestly, I would much prefer to go with her by train and buy stuff up there. But in my case I do have access to a car club and the only obstacle is my anxiety around driving, so I feel like I should push through. I'm planning to go early on a weekend so hoping the roads will be fairly quiet.

@InvitedWho what are moisture packs ?

Can I ask why everyone is buying bedding and why they aren't just using what they already have at home ?

@bibliomania all kudous to you there. I'm not sure as a fairly confident driver I would be able to get my DD to and from i can't drive in cities. Is there a park and ride so at least you can avoid a city center if there is one ?
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And obviously practise on local roads first. On the plus side modern cars are amazing.

I'll def be giving mine a hamper with snacks and treats and noodles etc soup and rice crackers and so on but the food card is a great idea whilst they get started.

So they don't have to bring it home every time. They will also need it for the next 3 or 4 years so not a short term purchase.