Fledglings 2026 - support, discussion and looking after each other

[ComingInByAnsible]

A thread for parents of Year 13 leavers as they go on to universities, apprenticeships and other new adventures.

DS is off to Warwick to study PPE.

I know I'm so so gutted for her !
I wanted her to have lots of fun....
It's not the same is it.
However the plus side is the accmd is on a good street with shops and cafes.
I guess as long as her room doesn't have mould it will be ok.
The uni is so spread out I just can't envissge how she will meet people because I know that youngsters madly stick to the first people they meet. Also is it all girls she's worth or boys .?

It's been awful really but we are trying to look at the positives and she would have options in October to move but the ships sail.by then don't they.

Can I join? Ds2 off to Preston for 5 years to do MEng in Motorsport.
He cannot wait to fly the nest!! I think he needs it to grow up a bit and maybe appreciate his home life more…
As usual with him it’s all very last minute so my gentle suggestions of getting a few things ready are falling on deaf ears 🙄

It’s quite generous for a catered hall. Not sure if they have worked and have savings too? We are giving ours £300 a month plus paying for their phone and travel to and from uni at the start and end of every term. The loan covers her accommodation and She has savings from summer jobs and hopes to find something term time. Gym is £40 for the whole year and her sisters are paying that for her . Her halls are not catered. I’ll also be doing her a food shop for staples when we drop her off .

We’ll leave his current bedding on his bed for when he visits and the holidays

These : pic attached (may be a delay before it uploads)

If he is airing/drying clothes in his room and also to help absorb steam from the en-suite

@InvitedWho wow I never knew these existed what a great idea !!

Was amusing myself this morning how I was setting dd with all new kitchen equipment but my own equipment consists of things older than her that were either donated to me by family or I 'borrowed' from our furnished rental when we were young. I've told her to take our blue and white dinner plates that I have from my mum, which are from my own childhood dinners - as they will be easier to identify 😄

She told my dh to hire a bigger car/van as our very standard saloon size family car is not big enough. I did tell her she needs to catch herself on a bit.

Mine has a single bed at home and a small double at uni .

Dd bf off to Preston too. Had a lovely vibe when we visited .

DD is very organised with what she’s taking to uni in Sept and is slowly collecting as she goes.

As for DS I just gave him some of what was around the house and he just bought his own stuff as required. He’s at Warwick and managed to budget really well with his loans and everything for accommodation and living expenses. We bought him a new laptop and phone when his died on him at the start of 2nd year.

Both have a reasonable amount from their CTF which were transferred to a different one than the government provided one which did surprisingly well considering.

DS worked during the summer holidays and during part of the 2nd year but gave it up because of the long hours and it was tricky getting the train / bus late at night to get home at convenient times.

DD has been working PT since she was 16 and like I said on PP will be transferring to her uni City then back home for the holidays.

DS used bedding from home although I did buy some new Duvet covers with him over one of the holidays.

DD has bought her own.

Snap. We've probably got enough pillows and cases for him to take but will need to get a fitted sheet or two, duvet and duvet covers. Even though it's a small double I'm going to get him a double duvet for more versatility (and snuggliness!)

We couldn't do that (pay for his accommodation) - his accommodation is about £7,500 a year! However his loan covers the accommodation. So that will go straight to cover accommodation costs, bar a few hundred, and we'll give him money weekly to live on. At least then he has to budget weekly. I would worry that if doing it the other way round, and they get a whole term's loan in one go, it would get spent too quickly! There's an article from save the student which works out average student living costs, and after rent and bills paid, it works out that they need about £600 a month. ie £150 a week-ish. It includes travel, socialising, books and so on as well as food. We just can't afford to do £150 a week. £100 max. But we do pay his phone and netflix. He will have to get used to budgeting and not buying luxury items and eating out etc! He has some savings as well but they will probably be gone by Christmas! I think it will be a steep learning curve - the cost of living!

@FalteringFledgling Son's bed is an odd size so had to have stuff bought specifically - mattress protector and sheets and mattress topper. But he'll be taking duvet, duvet cover and pillows from home. I read a mattress topper is important as the beds are like boards with thin mattresses but it may vary with different universities :-)

@hoomhom I think £75 a week sounds fine even if fully catered, as it's about half the estimated weekly need (see above) if not self catered. However maybe start with £60 a week and then if he needs you to get the odd thing or pay for the odd thing as well it'll help him budget. Then if it's not working out you could up it. But it's up to you and you know him better than we do. Would he spend it all at once and run out by the end of the week? Or is he more careful?

Ok bought all the stuff from my list now :-) Shopping done. Now I'm just going to try and enjoy the next month and have normal family life as much as possible. Our bedroom looks a bit like a shopping store though.

It will be a squeeze to get everything in the car. I was thinking of using his laundry bag to put all the kitchen stuff in but if that's too bulky, will fit small things round the suitcase and bedding in the car boot. It's surprising how much you can get in if you put smaller things in individually! For those without car transport - yes you can send everything by post. Or maybe hire a car or van for a day? But that's expensive.

Likewise - he has a double duvet at home and needs to take a single as the beds are fitted against the wall so a double would be too big. And as you say, they need their bed when they come home! He will take his pillows with him though and I'll just get a couple of new pillows for here.

I just made lists online and had him approve or disapprove. Thankfully he's quite amenable and they're not that up on kitchen equipment, so he was happy with most of the things I'd chosen with the odd specific request that he chose. I mainly got things the same as we have here for the kitchen so he seemed happy with that.

I spent far too much time trying to decide on saucepans! But left it as two saucepans and a frying pan. If different is needed that can be sorted later.

My DC is doing Primary Education in Liverpool John Moores. This is my 2nd child to uni so a couple of equipment tips:
1 of those washing up brushes you put the liquid in as they never fill sinks
These kitchen knives - easily recognisable, and v sharp
oh and anyone with 3/4 double beds - double bed size sheets / topper etc are fine from our experience
Good luck all - exciting times

Here's my completed list if it's helpful to anyone! Most things already bought now - some are coming from here but on the list to remind me. List of cleaning stuff, debating whether to make up a pack and take it with us or buy it when we get there.

Packing list:
Ethernet cable
Bath robe
Sliders/crocs
Clothes and personal items wanted from home

Shopping list:

Bedding:
Mattress protector, 2 x fitted sheets, mattress topper, duvet and duvet covers/pillow cases, pillows.

Towels from home
Laundry hamper with handles
Coat hangers from home
First Aid kit
Essentials tin of small items

Kitchen
Tea towels and oven glove
2 large plates
2 small plates
2 bowls
2 mugs
2 glasses
2 sets of cutlery
2 x 20cm saucepans
1 x 24cm frying pan
3 x kitchen utensils and wooden spoon
Collapsible colander
Cheese grater
Potato peeler
Chopping knife
Chopping board
Plastic microwave bowl/jug
Oven tray
? locknlock boxes
Small pyrex casserole dish
Freezer bags

Cleaning:
Kitchen/room/sink/bathroom:
Fairy liquid
Sponge/scourers
Metal scourers
2 packets of Dettol wipes (1 for kitchen, 1 for room)
Clear Dettol spray
Bathroom Dettol spray
Sponge clothes
Microfibre cloths
Rubber gloves
Toilet rolls
Washing powder

What have people got on their to do lists apart from things to buy? Again, I'm letting DS take the lead on this but just making a note of things I think need to happen so I can give him a nudge if they don't!

• work out how and when he receives his loan
• open student bank account
• get his 2nd meningitis jab
• remove the virus from his laptop and make sure it's in good working order
• private medical (he's still included on my private medical insurance provided by my employer which includes a virtual GP service so I need to make sure he knows how to access that to book appts if needed)

Any other essential admin bits to do?

Love the "remove the virus from his laptop" ha ha! I'm not allowed anywhere near son's laptop. I did insist on installing good antivirus when he got it, which I pay for so fingers crossed! My concern is - backups. If the laptop dies and they lose all their work - trying to persuade him to use cloud backup on my plan but it's like talking to a wall. Hopefully some students would be computer experts and work out how to retrieve it from the hard drive.

Loan - I believe son's university says the first term gets paid to their bank account at the start of term, after accommodation deducted - but need to check exactly how and when - good point.

Maybe add to the list: ascertain their move in day? At son's university, different colleges have different move in days and they're allocated a time slot to arrive nearer the time - which he will be doing directly by email so will need to make a notice to ask him.

@Roundaboot my dd said her first loan payment is on 21st September and next one in January then one in April. Don’t know if it’s the same for everyone?? Oddly, it looks like Bath want the first accommodation payment by 20th September which is a little annoying. Will have to sit down with her and work out if that is the case.

This is a good list ! I ve added loads including chopping board and scissors /sick bowl and umbrellas !!

Maybe more for boys but son has a multitool thing which has scissors, bottle opener and tin opener amongst other things!

@manywanderings another good list I had forgotten laundry liquid