Yes I realised I need to let him take the lead a bit also, so I have a list and shared links for various things which he approved. It's difficult when you want to ensure they have the right things. I'm just getting the same frying pan and stainless steel main pan that we have at home, neither of which were expensive, so I know he'll be happy with those.
Had a bit of a low point last night as reality hit home that he will be gone in September and we will have empty nest syndrome. Throwing myself into organising helped but it's not quite the same as organising something else - ie it's organising something for them leaving!
We got the bedding a few weeks back as his accommodation has extra long beds and it was hard to find things to fit. They needed 4 weeks notice. He asked me to start getting things a few weeks back so I just ordered the bedding. Duvet and pillows can go from here though.
Cutlery and chopping knife were done last week and plates and bowls were done ages ago as I had a voucher that was about to run out so used it for those.
Have already put together a little tin of "useful things". And have a mini first aid kit which will add the odd thing to.
@Desperatelyseekinglazysusan the microwave rice cooker sounds like a really good idea. So far I have just found a 2 litre microwave bowl/jug which could double as something to tip pasta in after cooked or as a general bowl or whatever. But still not be a heavy bulky thing to transport.
Frying pan was from Lakeland simple range. It's still non stick coating but free from the nasties. And we have one and it seems fine. Pan is just a stainless steel one 20cm. Big enough/tall enough to hold enough water for boiling pasta or rice without boiling the pan dry, not too big to cook a meal for one, but a good size for cooking enough for 2 or 3 meals. And it's one he's used to using.
Other than that have a space saving cheese grater, a y potato peeler (not sure if that's needed or not!). Decided against a tin opener as most tins are ring pull anyway. He can always buy one when there if needed. And just 3 cooking utensils. Wooden spoon from here as we have a few. Will probably get salt and pepper grinder. Small chopping board and collapsible space saving collander and an oven tray.
The bedding and suitcase will fill the car and as they have to bring everything back at some point, decided to go for lightweight space saving things.
Haven't bought some yet though, they are just in a basket online so will check out the microwave rice cooker! Maybe it will double up for other things as well.