Exeter: uni de jour ! Why ? Everyone we know wants it ?

[PaperTyger]

My DD is high achieving and has offers from all she wants but she's thinking of Exeter.,it was the most popular place at her school last year and everyone else I'm chatting to says their DC want it.
We didn't visit but I can see it's in a beautiful place. Any thoughts ?

I hope she goes somewhere she really wants not becsuee it's the fashion.

I find it strange that apparently only 7% of kids in the UK go to private schools, and yet they apparently make up at least 70% of any given intake at Exeter, UCL, St Andrews, Durham, Bath, Edinburgh .....

strange.

Personally I've taught my children to be more open-minded and judge people on what they say and how they behave, not on where their parents decided to send them to school when they were 11.

Homophobia in straight men is sadly still quite common - as I witnessed in the local pub last night where I heard a group of scaffolders calling a football player they were watching an offensive term for a gay man, as amongst middle class Rugby fans, I'm sure.

This was exactly my experience of Edinburgh uni in the 90s - where I met my now husband - one of us went to a private international school and the other went to a Northern comprehensive. Most people don't write off people from paricular backgrounds before meeting them, thankfully.

It is for some people it’s just not their vibe. I would have gone but I wouldn’t have looked to make friend with people who were really into rugby as it bores me rigid and I think it’s really horrible violent sport. Same as suggesting someone who hates clubbing goes along with it for the sake of it

@1apenny2apenny I agree. Dc just need to grow up. It’s clearly a university that attracts dc from London, SE and SW and often parents will have good jobs. Always has been like this. If dc really cannot manage to meet other dc from different backgrounds, they need to go to universities with below 10% privately educated students - eg Sheffield.

It’s appalling to say all young privately educated people are awful and most dc end up working with a mix of people, so do need to be less judgemental. I can see why privately educated dc stick together, although I agree poor behaviour from any dc should be called out, but it’s not confined to privately educated dc though. The privately educated dc my DDs know have impeccable manners!

I think dc really do need to understand that wealth isn’t just confined to the privately educated or bad manners. Plenty of wealthy people use grammar schools and top notch comps. Plenty around me have cars for dc and large houses worth £ millions. They just don’t use the private schools as the grammars are better.

My son is in his first year at Exeter and absolutely loves it. What I will say though is that it’s very expensive. He did go to a private school (but on a scholarship… I am a single parent and definitely not rich). He’s made a great mix of friends and seems to be out and about having fun all the time. My children are only a year apart and my second son has an offer from Exeter too. If he firms it then they will drop a grade. He is sports mad and very outgoing, I think Exeter might not be quite exciting enough for him! I think he’s going to firm Nottingham and put Exeter as second choice. As a parent with a child there though, everything about it has been great, but it is very expensive.

I agree, the rents are eye watering. Ds was there for 4 years and loved it. He met people from all walks of life including his best mate who is from a super wealthy family, it's not made any difference that they are from different back grounds and nor should it. The whole point of uni ( apart from your degree) is to mix with people of all backgrounds,isn't it?

My daughter went to an independent girls’ day school with the help of a scholarship. There were 100 girls in each year group and I think 6 or 7 of them went to Exeter in her year. However, she wasn’t particularly friendly with any of them and although she came across them accidentally from time to time she didn’t socialise with them at all. The same applied to my older daughter. She also went to the same university as several girls from her school and didn’t socialise with any of them.

The friends she made at Exeter were from a mix of independent and state schools. It wasn’t an issue for any of them. Her boyfriend of 5 years, who she met there and now lives with, went to a comprehensive.

More generally, I don’t think it’s unusual for students to go to the same university as others from their school. It’s probably most common with selective schools. Girls from my daughters’ school tend to go to a relatively small group of universities. Looking at last year’s leavers, the biggest numbers went to Cambridge (12), Exeter (10) and Bath (9). That’s over 30% of leaves going to 3 institutions alone. A further 40% went to 8 additional institutions (Oxford, Edinburgh, Bristol, Birmingham, Leeds, UCL, Durham and Imperial).

I have a friend whose son is at Eton and apparently they all want to go to Exeter - it does definitely have that posh-boy vibe. It certainly would have put my DC off - posh Eton boy casual sexism/racism not their vibe at all.

If DC is really concerned about mixing with posh kids, then choose the cheapest accom (which might be a necessity anyway!), i.e. self-catered shared bathrooms. Posh kids are more likely to go for expensive/newer ensuite (maybe catered) residences.

As I said earlier my kids school has had 20-30 of the year group going to the same universities as each other (Nottingham Birmingham and Leeds). They tend to apply to the same couple of halls and then hang around together and not really make new friends. It’s quite isolating sometimes for other kids in the halls

@keffotine That’s offensive ! Why on earth do you assume young men you have never met exhibit “casual sexism/racism”? There are not many young men from Eton at any university and it’s ultra lazy and rude to say they are all sexist or racist. It’s too easy to write things when you have no first hand knowledge at all. I could list the appalling behaviour of boys at schools local to me - state schools but I know these incidents are a tiny minority and are more to do with upbringing, not education.

Firmly out of fashion for my kids and their friends who described it as Tunbridge Wells on Sea.

It’s very white.
I suspect that thats part of its attraction too. Any other ethnic groups come from the same demographics. It’s not like the top 10 unis with their swathes of overseas students and larger mix of nationalities.

Eldest DD got a low (contextual) offer from Exeter but turned down after an offer holders day. Combination of not the right course and the high percentage of posh Surrey girls - and she was at a private school so hardly an oik.

It is a nice city though

Re rugby - Exeter is one of the Premiership teams and it’s not known for its football. Makes sense that it’s one of the things kids would watch.

Oh yeah @Buddinghell that too!

There are Rugby societies at EVERY university and Rugby players and people who enjoy watching Rugby at EVERY university, same as there are Rubgy enjoyerd in every single pub. As well as lots of people who can't stand it. Has anyone ever been to Cardiff or Cardiff Uni? Like Exeter, it is a Rugby city and so lots of students will be playing/watching it. What a weird criteria to judge a university on.

If you live in the SW / S, don't want to go to London and want to stay closeish to home at a campus uni thats fairly high ranking for many courses.... then Exeter,Bath and Warwick will be on a lot of state school teens lists as well as private sector students - last year , our city state school sent the second most students there (after our city uni, which perhaps reflects the rise in students living at home for financial reasons) . Definitely less diverse then our city but why should that stop aspirational people from applying.

@OhDear111i have met them, why would you assume I haven’t? I have seen things they have written on social media (my Dd is friends with them online and she has shown me) and it’s horrific. They are an over privileged nasty bunch. I’m sure they aren’t ALL like that, but a large proportion.

40 years ago when I was doing uni applications it was considered an oxbridge reject place! My privately educated and on the face of it quite posh child went for an offer holder day and rejected it for being too posh and full of rugby boys ie too much like school!

@keffotine Rubbish. You tar everyone because of a small minority. We can all find unacceptable minorities at every school. I’d open your eyes a bit wider.

I looked round w DD a few years ago. It was a beautiful day /campus and I could see the attraction, but when we overhead a potential student taking about ‘daddy’s car’ we knew it wasn’t the right place! In hindsight it wouldn’t have suited her at all.

I can't imagine rejecting a uni over one overheard conversation.

Yes it’s very odd! What sort of narrow-minded attitudes are people suffering from?

I thought the point of uni was about widening your horizons and meeting all different sorts of people anyway, not just wanting to avoid anyone who isn’t “people like us”

it was between Exeter and Bath for her insurance, and I really thought she should have taken Bath

@imip , Im assuming that neither you nor your DD had / have visited Bath, either? Like Exeter, the landscape really isn't famed for its similarity to the Fens...