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Higher education

Talk to other parents whose children are preparing for university on our Higher Education forum.

Hoping you can give me some balance

76 replies

Catmadlady12 · 11/02/2026 08:33

My son is in his first year at Uni and I find it so frustrating and annoying that his focus seems to be the social side rather than actually studying. I know I will get a list of comments from people about how they spent three years partying etc etc which I accept but it bugs me that I’m paying a lot of money on what seems like a long party. Am I the only one that gets frustrated and how do I manage this because it’s very much impacting on my relationship with him as I’m resenting him spending my money. Should also say that fist lot of essays came back with a 2:2 and he thinks, I quote, worked his arse off. How can you be when you are getting in at 3am and rocking up at lectures hungover and tired.

OP posts:
BurnoutGP · 14/02/2026 21:07

User11010866 · 12/02/2026 19:25

Just because first-year marks don’t count towards your final degree classification doesn't mean they are useless. I’m curious how anyone expects to achieve a 2:1 or a First if they have a shaky foundation from a poor first year—unless, of course, the course is poorly designed.
I’ve noticed a real contradiction in the discussions nearby: on other thread, there is an Oxford Mum worried that her DC is being pushed to breaking point; here we have a thread celebrating and encouraging the party lifestyle and indulging in the new-found freedom of adulthood.
Isn't it ironic?

No one is celebrating or encouraging it. But that is just what some DC will do. My DD1 did and managed a high 2:1 just missing a 1st. My DD2 definitely won't be partying as she is much more serious. They all do what is best for them they have to find their own way. What is ironic 🤔

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