Current Oxbridge students - new year, new thread

[TenSheds]

Fresh new thread for Oxbridge parents group therapy! With freshers moving in and existing students returning, reckoned someone ought to take the initiative so there's a home for all the news, blues and reviews.

The last continuation thread filled up before anyone set up a new one so hopefully existing and new Oxbridge parents find this one.

I know I don’t post here much but I’m concerned for the welfare of DS. He won’t talk about it but he’s told me he can’t wait to leave. He’s in his final year.
Idk if he’s getting help from college.

@riversflows does your DS have friends he. can talk to at college? Not long to end of term so hopefully a break at home will help too.

DD has expressed that she is ready to leave the studies behind her, it isn’t that she is unhappy, more ready to move onto the next stage. Friends are applying for jobs, graduate programmes, Masters courses and people are planning for graduation day by booking hotels etc so there is a lot of thought now about what happens once the undergraduate degree is done.

@Worried56 how is your DD? Not long to go before the Christmas break-and-regroup now.

@riversflows I do think that many students get to the point where they have ‘had’ this phase of their life and just want to move on. Although it can feel that they ‘ought to be savouring every moment’ of this ‘golden’ period in their lives, many find the constant ramping up of academic pressure plus the social stress of ‘seize every moment’ is difficult to handle, along with the additional pressure of ‘what comes next’. If there is anything specific underlying it - a breakup of a relationship or social groups or a course that no longer quite ‘fits’ the person they have become - hopefully the quieter pace of the holidays may be time to explore further.

Yes, I know mine at the moment doesn't want the experience to end, but her course is longer than most of her friends' and I can see her feeling similarly impatient once they have graduated. Time for everyone to take stock and regroup over the break.

Here, DD's full on life has this week involved the novices regatta. They didn't win, but she seems thrilled to have taken part and very proud. We're quite astonished that this has grabbed her so much, but delighted that she's getting to enjoy this iconic aspect of the Oxford world.

@cantkeepawayforever thank you for asking . She’s doing better and has managed to move some supervisions to help with essay load. She will still be 2 / 12 essays short but these are with her DoS who is hopefully letting her have one supo online in the holidays and another at the start of term so she can catch up on that particular paper. She says that a lot of her supo partners have been struggling to deliver too so maybe there’s been a particularly bad run of flu this term .
Regardless, this term’s difficulties have highlighted she needs to try to work on sleep and time management if she is to have any hope of having any fun or social
life alongside the work load. It’s been a difficult experience and really stressful, but she is still refusing to talk to college or access additional support.

Brought ds home yesterday after his first term. He was so talkative on the way home and seemed so happy and upbeat about it which was a relief as some phone calls have been more like getting blood out of a stone, which isn't like him. He went more or less straight out with friends and came home at midnight. He slept until around midday, briefly surfaced and has now gone back to bed. This is so unlike him and he doesn't drink so not hungover. I'm guessing this is fairly normal??

My DD got home yesterday and slept for 13 hours (but she didn't go to bed the night before until 4.30am :-) ). She's still tired today. I suspect she's going to do a lot of catching up on sleep over the next week.

DS spent about 3 days sleeping after his first term...totally normal IME!!

Mine came home for one night and then disappeared for a long weekend with new friends. I am delighted for her of course, but I would like to hear how it is all going and whether she has any work to do over the break.

Bought DD home today after spending the night in Cambridge. Attended a fantastic 500th anniversary of the Robert Barnes sermon last night in a 600+ year old church. The house is full of bags and boxes, her room this year has less lockable storage so more stuff had to come home.

Lovely having her home, the cats are not quite so sure though as their resting place of her bed is now less quiet and full of DD.

DD has gone to a Symposium in Germany for the weekend. Then back to Oxford for the rest of term - it’s longer for the Medics!

I think she’ll be back home in a couple of weeks. It should be the same weekend that DS2 gets back from college in the US.

So nice to have DS home, he has done sleeping for 2 days and is now back working at the books. Seems to have had a great first term but finds his DoS hard work and not easy to please. Do they get a change of DoS for subsequent years generally does anyone know?

Not sure where your DS is or what subject but my STEM at C DS had the same DOS for his first two years...

Just had a lovely chat with DS who is hoping to get as much of his project finished in fairly quiet labs before coming home on Monday. I think he's finding this year intellectually fulfilling but a bit lonely as his GF is doing her Masters in Oxford and several of his friends graduated last year...he said he's ready to finish and move on to the next chapter. So that's all good I guess. Will be lovely to have him (and non Oxbridge DD) home at the weekend.

@Panicmode1 yes the 4th year can be a bit odd when your cohort is splintering in different directions.

DD is eventually settling in Rome (3rd year linguist). DS has just gone out to see her and they'll both be back just in time for Christmas which will be lovely. She's had the opposite problem of seeing on social media all her pals having a great 3rd year while she's been rather lonely away. At least her college has lots on linguists so they'll be a good number returning next year.

DS who graduated 18 months ago starts his social work training in January. Probably not a conventional path for an Oxford Geographer but he's much looking forward to it.

Popping in to say happy Christmas to those who recognise me.

Final year blues are very common @riversflows but worrying when it's your own DC struggling.

Juja, less conventional is good. DD did a year with the NHS, a masters at York & is now having the time of her life in London this year in a role which ranges from trips to the Australian Embassy to being sent home in a taxi with a huge terrarium after an event last week.

@HewasH2O Lovely to hear from you - and a very Happy Christmas to you too.

I think there are probably many more Oxbridge graduates taking unconventional paths but the noise and expectations comes from those taking the consultancy / finance / law etc.

Happy Christmas @HewasH2O and to all who remember me! Both my DDs are arriving home today on the train, can't wait to see them.

Happy Christmas to all on the thread - I hope you all have a fabulous festive season and the students all get a bit of recovery time!

My older two get back today, I'm on leave (albeit with the mother of all lurgies!!) but Christmas can finally start as we'll all be home tonight for our first meal as a family of six which hasn't happened for a while 😊)

Hoping DC1 makes it back from overseas today and up to us in the north tomorrow in time for us all to go to the theatre. He's lost his wallet and relying on paying for things via phone. I thought we'd got over this chaotic phase but still ongoing, second time he's lost his wallet this year. Both times overseas and he can't even blame pickpockets. DC2 is now back.

@Panicmode1 hope your lurgy gets better very soon.

I'm still working till tomorrow but managed to make some mince pies and Florentines yesterday so feel much more Christmassy.

Merry Christmas everyone! DD1 came home last week after doing a stint of interviewing. It's interesting hearing about the process "from the other side". She is staying until after the weekend so we are having a vegan Christmas meal this year rather than getting a turkey for 3 of us (me, DH and DF). Her sister has to work so won't be home at all, although she was here at the end of November.

@Panicmode1 I hope you are soon better.

DD is home and has settled back in nicely. She had an exam just before term ended. She’s only home for two weeks though as the medics start again early.

Jumping on here (haven’t posted on HE / Oxbridge for about a year, DS was mid -interviews then I think) but wanted to ask:

Did any other college apart from his (Oxf, relatively small, relatively poor) make them empty their rooms entirely in December? It was a nightmare! No trunk room space except for international students, no lockable storage within the room.

I was surprised, it seemed somewhat unreasonable, economics or no economics. I

He is going to take a lot less back than he took up.

@JanFebAndOnwards Yes, I think I have read that that's standard practice. DS is at one of the bigger Oxford colleges and had to do that. He had packed light anyway. I admit I find it a bit odd that they let you park up and seem to waive the parking restrictions on the first move in day but after that (at least at his college) it seems you are on your own, even though you have exactly the same amount of stuff. Oh well, part of the weird and wonderful world of Oxford I suppose and I confess I do get a bit of a thrill going into such a beautiful place, even laden with bags, that was DS's dream to get into and knowing that he made it - I imagine that novelty will wear off long before the three years is up though!

Absolutely agree re the parking!

I know four parents of other current Oxbridge students, and was one myself back in the day, and have never come across it before. Good to know, thanks