Current Oxbridge students - new year, new thread

[TenSheds]

Fresh new thread for Oxbridge parents group therapy! With freshers moving in and existing students returning, reckoned someone ought to take the initiative so there's a home for all the news, blues and reviews.

The last continuation thread filled up before anyone set up a new one so hopefully existing and new Oxbridge parents find this one.

Hi just wanted to introduce myself as my DD has been lucky enough to get a place at Cambridge for her degree starting in October. She is very nervous and feeling quite overwhelmed with it all at the moment. Shes worrying about going away from home for the first time. I keep trying to reassure her she will make lots of friends and the info from her college so far has been very welcoming. Any advice from current parents that might reassure her (and me!)?
Also I keep seeing on other parent groups for other unis that people take things like mattress toppers but as she has to move out every term I am thinking that it will be too bulky?

Understandable to be nervous @tootiredtobeinspired. Is there a college WhatsApp group or similar yet? Both DS1 and DD started to ‘meet’ people before they started.

Moved DD into her 5th year house today. A nice spot near the rugby ground. Convenient for training!

@tootiredtobeinspired congratulations to you and your DD. Try not to worry. My DD had a cupboard in her room that she put her kitchen stuff, duvet etc. in, and it could be locked during the holidays.
Hopefully your DD will have college parents who will be in touch shortly. Your DD can ask all those sort of questions.
Cambridge is amazing but quite bonkers. Enjoy the journey and try not to stress too much. My DD did an integrated Masters, then a PhD and is now lecturing and a Director of Studies, all in the space of 9 years.

@tootiredtobeinspired congratulations to your DD. My DD has just finished her time at C and like @Malbecfan ’s DD my DD also had lockable storage which some of the bully items could go in. She used the college duvets and pillows but did get a mattress topper but not until her third year as the mattress in her first couple of years was fine. There were events around the country in August and early September for networking for new students, not college level though. Good luck to your DD

Thanks all, Im sure I will be back with more daft questions as I think of them! Im hopeful she will really love it when she gets there as shes actually a very sociable and friendly girl, I think its just nerves at the moment!

Another parent of an incoming C fresher here. It feels ridiculous to be saying this when for so many it's a great prize, but I'm currently feeling very anxious that this is not the right path for DD and she would have been better off going to her insurance and having a more relaxed and 'normal' university experience with room to breathe. Not helped by her having been summer pooled so that we had a couple of days where it seemed almost certain that she would therefore end up at her insurance and I had convinced myself that was what was meant to be and would be for the best. I think DD was actually on the fence between the two and wanted the decision taken out of her hands, which I worry is not enough motivation to be at C. She certainly was not upset on results day, but she had assumed C was gone anyway because of how one of her A Level papers went (and she was right about that paper!). I went to C a long time ago and did enjoy it, but the academic side is much more intense now from what I can see, but with Oxbridge no longer the help it once was for careers. The college is new to us and the comms so far have not been as welcoming as the college from which she had her original offer. I won't go into details, but DD has had a rough couple of years and, while in some ways achieving a place at C is a great comeback story, the stakes feel higher if she ends up unhappy. So, realising how ridiculous this sounds, I'd be very grateful for any tales of DC who are not burning the candle at both ends to keep up!

@Fendero congrats to your DD but please try not worry. The college system is very supportive in my experience (and DD had friends at a range of different colleges).

Yes it is intense but DD also had time to do extra curriculars, she spent a lot of time involved with the theatre scene and made lots of friends that way. Some of the courses are more intense that others but medics and law students were also on the theatre scene, NatSci students though did seem bonkers busy!!! DD sat on the JCR one year and had time to do that alongside her academics and theatre work. All three years she also volunteered with a local Brownie pack to give her time out of the Cambridge bubble. She found that really helped.

DD had time in the long vacations to do paid work and spend time with old school friends and host university friends.

Yes blind recruiting and about half of the jobs that DD applied for asked for all evidence of academic institution to be removed. Also the fact none of her work was graded and only 30% of the result was available at end of Y2 didn't compare with many other insitutions so some recruiters seemed to find it odd there was not more information on progress. However both she and most of her friends are doing well, one has a start-up that is doing exceptionally well, another got a highly prized pupillage, another going onto to a funded Masters etc.

Can anyone with a YP advise how bad the demands of NatSci are? Have they enjoyed their course and time at C more importantly? The above post is making me a little nervous. For those who have graduated what has your person gone on to do? And if you have any tips they would be very welcome.

Oh @Fendero, it sounds like it's been a really tough few days and it's not surprising you're feeling unsettled and anxious. DD's best friend missed her Cambridge offer last year. By the time the remark came back (confirming her place at Cambridge), she'd mentally traveled a long way thinking that Bristol would actually be the best place for her after all. It's difficult! (She had a planned gap year and hasn't started yet, so I haven't got a happy ending to tell you about yet. She is looking forward to it though.)
My DD has just finished her first year of medicine (at Oxford). She's had an amazing year and can't wait to get back there after the summer. She works hard (and she worked very hard in the few weeks leading up to their big end-of-year exams), but she also has lots of time for sport and socialising. She says in the first term she said yes to every single social opportunity that came her way and was able to keep up with her workload ok. And she ended up at a college that wasn't the one she applied to (and definitely not one she'd have picked based on reputation) but she loves it there.
Hopefully it will all feel better once the dust settles on the results day process a bit. They've chosen her because they think she will thrive there.

@Justforchristmas happy to help.

NatSci is busy but if your YP has just managed 4 A levels, they can cope. My DD was advised that you can take on 2 “extras”, but 3 won’t work. So over the 4 years of her degree & integrated Masters she rowed, sang in a chapel choir, played in an orchestra, played football with the chapel choir (!), helped with outreach and danced but only ever 2 at the same time. Work hard, play hard! She ran the NatSci Twitter account in year 2 then set up one for her specialism in year 3. She also managed to go to concerts, help a friend from home with stage managing a musical and plenty of other things.

She was interested in getting a job and was down to the last 2 but her Masters supervisor had some funding for a PhD so she did that, graduating last October. As she was finishing writing up, she was approached by an academic and asked if she fancied becoming an associate lecturer in the department. She was interviewed and, much to her surprise, got the job. Initially it was for 9 months but her contract has been extended until next summer.

During her PhD, she supervised students for a couple of colleges, which she enjoyed. I think lots of freshers are worried at first, but they soon get in the swing of it. She found those much easier to work with than the arrogant know-alls. She is tiny and looks much younger than she is, so a couple of guys didn’t take her seriously. However, she soon put them straight.

I have no idea what she will do once she finishes the contract. Her bf is doing postdoctoral research so they may end up abroad.

DD will be starting at Cambridge this autumn. Glad to find this thread as I'm sure I'll have lots of questions!

Welcome to the new joiners and congratulations to your DCs. My DS has just graduated after four years (MEng). He was winter pooled and initially was sad not to go to the college he had chosen, but actually he loved his 'new' college and made amazing friends.

He has a couple of NatSci friends - they DID all work bonkersly hard (I think it's probably the most intense ahead of engineering), but they all did brilliantly and managed to work and play hard. As @Malbecfan says, if they've done 4 A levels, then it won't be too much of a stretch. All of his friends have graduated either with jobs to go to or further study/doctorates, so it is tough out there but even with institution blind recruiting, they seem to be able to beat the odds. My DD who has also just graduated from a non Oxbridge uni in a more 'middle of the road' subject does have a job now, but it's not what she really wants to be doing....

Re mattress toppers etc - DS did have one but he managed to have rooms where he only had to move his stuff in one of the four years he was in college, and that year there was lockable storage.

And I echo the meeting people in the weeks beforehand - DS went to a 'college drinks' evening in London and met several people there so on his first day he had a few familiar faces he could meet up with.

Good luck to them all - and hope you, and they enjoy it - it goes SO fast. Cliche but true!

DD did phys NatSci with a masters in materials science ( with @MalbecfanDD I think! ). She is now a patent attorney. Her companies (she was at one for 2 years and then moved once qualified) did not recruit blind and actively targeted Oxbridge. Her partner is also a Cam grad in CompSci and again his employer did not recruit blind. The workload was heavy but she loved her time there and still has a great group of uni friends. She did sport and was active in college societies but did have to work long days.

DS started at C on the Maths Tripos 4 years ago with 4 top A levels tempered by slightly dodgy STEP results. We weren't sure that he'd last a month. We were pleased to see from the window of his rooms on move-in day that as the freshers met in the quad below he got talking to someone very quickly so we left them to it. An early disappointment at not being invited to join the University tennis club after trialling was overturned a year later. Among other things he became webmaster for a University society and he has enjoyed the whole undergraduate experience. Academically, it was a very challenging course and his NatSci friends had the additional burden of lab reports to deal with. As said upthread, one is not selected for entry to fail at C: it is a vote of confidence in the candidate. If it is any help one of DS's mates and contemporaries was pooled to the same college and finished 5th in the rankings (big cohort) in his Master's degree.
Both are returning to C for fully funded PhDs in October.

Accordingly, hearty congratulations to your DD on her achievement and all the best for what can be an engrossing and fulfilling experience.

The only thing I can pass on is that a large-ish blackboard and a good supply of chalk (plus duster) can be a surprisingly effective learning, thinking and social tool for STEM disciplines. DS has two and one of them will be returning to C in October.

Good luck!

DD was in the winter pool, she had 4 A*s, but her ESAT was on the low side of average for a Cambridge offer.

She is doing fine in her engineering course and has played a sport and participated in an engineering club. So, as Malbecfan says, 2 extras seems to be the sweet spot. DD seems busy but also happy.

Thank you everyone who has commented about NatSci

@Malbecfan and @ivyleafgeranium, those are great insights/stories! DS is going into NatSci and currently think he will eventually narrow in on Materials. I wonder which two activities he will pursue? (He does a lot of things; I honestly don't know how he manages it as he can sleep for England and is generally pretty laid-back...)

Yes, thank you from me too for those replies and insights. I hope she'll find her tribe, even in a smaller college than she'd originally hoped for. And that she'll enjoy the experience as much as your DC. I'm not sure that her college has any meet-ups in advance, but we'll look into that.

@Fendero it’s not the college that has meet-ups in advance. It’s the whole university.

DD went to one around a fortnight before she started. Although 3 other people from her school went to C, none of them attended the meet-up. Then a few years later, she was asked to go again as a current student. It may well have been just before she started her PhD but I really can’t remember.

in 2017 all the college pre-arrival stuff was done on Facebook. I remember driving her there for the 1st time and her phone was going wild with notifications. Once we unpacked, she couldn’t get rid of us fast enough!

I am getting slightly concerned reading all the immensely long packing lists on other threads! DD took a fair bit of kit with her (halls in a non-Oxbridge uni), but it seems that DS will have a duvet, mattress-topper, and pillow provided, and will only have access to very limited kitchen facilities so won't need cookware beyond basic crockery/mug/glass for snacks/drinks. Does that sound about right?

Congratulations to DC heading to Oxbridge in October.
DD took plenty of home comforts to Oxford and accumulated a great deal more over four years. DS took the bare minimum to Cambridge and managed fine so the “right” amount is highly individual. Ironically DS had huge rooms, plenty of vacation storage and stayed onsite at his college for the duration of his degree. DD moved all over Oxford from the main college site to Banbury Road and Folly Bridge. She also had to clear her room at the end of each term. She took cooking stuff as the demands of her sport meant self catering outside of formals. DS ate most of his meals in Hall/Buttery.,

DS was always quite minimal. DD has an enormous amount of stuff, I felt this on Sunday when I helped her move house.

@PhotoDad - minimal is great. It will help if your DS has to empty his room at the end of each turn.

DD2 is heading to Cambridge this year and she’s very excited. DD1 just missed out on Oxford but is very happy at her insurance and has said she’s quite relieved not to be under the Oxbridge work pressure. DD2 thinks she is aware of how much intense work it will be but we shall see when reality kicks in 😖

She’s had a couple of emails from the DoS and has a zoom ‘meet’ with him and others on her course in early Sept. The freshers WhatsApp chat for her college is very quiet apparently - lots have joined but no one is saying anything 😂

Congrats to all the other DC starting this year 😊

Congratulations to your DD, @PickFlowersNotFights. Things will get busier quite quickly, as I remember a few years ago when DS was accepted at C. All the best and good luck to her.

Thanks @Clemenc0 😊. She has now joined a WhatsApp group for her college course freshers. There are only 6 of them and they are chatting already which is nice 👍