Current Oxbridge students - new year, new thread

[TenSheds]

Fresh new thread for Oxbridge parents group therapy! With freshers moving in and existing students returning, reckoned someone ought to take the initiative so there's a home for all the news, blues and reviews.

The last continuation thread filled up before anyone set up a new one so hopefully existing and new Oxbridge parents find this one.

Check this page
https://www.cambridgestudents.cam.ac.uk/exams/eamc

and its links to see if anything is relevant.

Intermission is likely to be the suggested remedy, if your child has been unable to study for over 2 weeks. However, that would usually be for a period of a year (just due to how courses are structured).

Thanks. This seems extreme though. I guess we have to see how much can be clawed back in the Christmas holidays. I read in the links you posted that if for example you intermit in January you can’t go back til following January - I imagine this would make it much harder to integrate and make friends which is an issue esp if mental health is already a concern?

Yes. Return from intermission while one’s original year is still in residence is sort of OK. The ‘extra’ year is a bit grim, unless one happens to be friends with linguists or others on 4 year courses. Not to be undertaken lightly.

@Worried56check if the college has a nurse or welfare email address, you could email that. If your DC is already known to them they can check in without needing to give a particular reason.

if DC later wants to put in mit circs they will need medical evidence ie to have seen a doctor or nurse. In practice I dont think illness unless actual on during exams will be taken into account much. However if you need to give DC a nudge to get them into the nurses office, logging the illness for later Mit circs can often persuade them to go.

@7yeardraughtmustchangesoon Yes I am a teacher. Yes, I taught DD1 in y8 and briefly in y11 and y12.

@Worried56 DS was unwell in his final year - with a severe form of shingles and was unable to work for a couple of weeks. He had the advantage of having close friends living on his staircase who contacted the college nurse. She was absolutely brilliant and arranged for a GP visit and a visit from his pastoral tutor. DS and his DoS rescheduled his workload and DS was allowed to submit bulleted lists in lieu of essays. I think communication is the key thing here.

DD is home for the weekend due to a burst pipe in her college building resulting in no hot water or heating. We are about two hours door to door on the train so it is quite do-able, some students have been given heaters but she chose to come home, she phoned up at 5pm for our usual end of day chat on Friday evening and she didn’t take much persuading to come home and walked through our front door by 8.30pm.

A good night’s sleep last night after a hot shower and she is now working on her dissertation. She’ll head back to college on Monday when apparently all should be fixed re the plumbing.

How lovely to have a bonus weekend with DD @PettsWoodParadise! I have to wait until c. 14 Dec to get all my chicks home.

However, we have had some good news...after 18 months of looking DH was offered a fabulous new job yesterday 🎉🥂🥳. DS has also secured a grad job at a consultancy firm so I'm hopeful 2026 will be a happier year than 2025 has been.

Clearly the cold snap caused trouble with college heating systems - DD’s radiator was repaired on Thursday after conditions in her room became Baltic, and she saw herself as lucky as the boiler serving 2 other buildings within the same college had given up entirely….

That’s wonderful news @Panicmode1- what a result! 2 for the price of 1!

We also have DD home for the weekend. As a medic she’s been in Oxford since early September and was ready for a break. We’ve been to see Wicked and eaten a lot of popcorn. We’ll see her again next week as we’re going to watch the Medics Revue.

@Panicmode1 what wonderful and well deserved news for you, DH and DS. So pleased for you all. Although I don’t know you IRL I feel like you’ve been here on this thread as such a stalwart and support to so many that the good fortune is overdue.

Excellent news @Panicmode1 ! That must be such a relief. Wishing them both every success in their new jobs.

Thank you for your kind words...I was starting to feel the universe was not happy with us for some reason, but am so relieved that DH's determination, optimism and resilience has (finally) borne fruit!! Somehow I wasn't worried about DS getting a job, despite his protestations that "a degree from Cambridge isn't as valuable as it was in your day".....an engineering degree still has value and one from Cambridge does still mean something...!!

I'm more concered about DD who graduates in the summer and is finding it very tough to even get interviews, despite having worked (retail/NMW jobs, but still) since she was 16.

Thank you!

Your families successes inspire me @Panicmode1 I also have family members looking for work. I hope your DD does well too!

I never thought I'd be back in my old profession - but I started a 'returnship' in September after 10+ years out, so there ARE jobs and opportunities out there - but there are fewer of them and it does seem harder to get through the 'system'. I honestly had almost given up hope of DH finding a job at the level he was at before he was made redundant, especially after 18 months out of work, but I was wrong....he never gave up and was relentlessly positive and optimistic which helped him (and me!) to get through what's been a really tough 18 months.

Best of luck to your family members and hope their moments come very soon 🙏

Great news @Panicmode1 really pleased for you.

Thinking of you and your DD @Worried56

DS is now better from his nasty bug but it has knocked his sleeping out of whack again so he has missed more than a week of lectures. He is now talking of dropping the two (applied) courses he has been struggling with a bit which I think would be wise. The end of term feels like it is almost in sight and hopefully he will have some time to catch up in the holidays. Hope those celebrating bridgemas this week have a lovely time!

@Panicmode1 that is fantastic news! Many congratulations to both of them.

Don't worry about your DD. My DD2 (non Oxbridge) had only worked in the ice cream shop, a restaurant and a cafe when she was applying for her grad role. She had a few interviews and almost didn't go to one as it was our local pub quiz night, but I told her to give it a go as it's always good experience. She got the job and is now 14 months into it and doing really well. One of the things that apparently made her stand out was her ability to deal with stressful situations and to work as part of a team, as evidenced by her waitressing work over quite a long period of time. All the examples she gave in her interview came from retail - e.g. "tell us about an occasion when you went the extra mile, and what happened" and she talked about the granny with the child who had lots of allergies. She showed granny all the packaging for the ice cream & sprinkles and they made a bespoke treat that the child could eat. Granny came back every day of the holiday for the same treat, so the bosses gave DD a £10 bonus.

Any experience is better than no experience, so tell her to sell herself. Hoping this becomes your family's 3rd new job.

@Panicmode1 so good to hear your news about DH, yourself and DS. As @Malbecfan says the right job will be there as it sounds as though she's lots of oomph though the national vibe and lots of articles about graduate recruitment challenges make it tough.

A couple of Updates here. DC1 who graduated a year ago has just completed a year in a Social Services role and starts their funded social work training in January. The last year has been pressurised with a huge case load but good insight into the life of a social worker as he was managed by a social worker.

DC2 has found settling into their Year Abroad (3rd year linguist) much much harder than anticipated (they'd already had a year abroad in their other language before Uni so no stranger to living in a. new city). Just very lonely - missing college life and BF. Some heartbreaking calls home but seems to have turned a corner and am hoping by the time they return in June they'll not want to leave. Lots of building resilience going on. They are home for Christmas which will be lovely.

Thank you @Malbecfan - I'm sure she will be fine. She couldn't get a summer job this year, so temped and was asked for by name after her second shift in a warehouse packing flyers (or something!) - the recruitment people said that had never happened before. She has a great work ethic and a strong personality so I'm sure that something will come - as we have discovered in this house, sometimes the fat lady takes a bit longer to start trilling, but she does eventually....! 😂

@Juja I feel for your DC2 - I've been that third year linguist - and I wasn't due to come home for Christmas so found it really hard not being around my BF - and at this time of year, not enjoying the festive build up. I had to book phone calls in advance (was in Russia in the 90s) and sometimes he wasn't in or I couldn't get through and it was a nightmare. Luckily it was WAY before social media so I didn't have to see my uni mates having a brilliant time without me, which I think must make things even harder nowadays. Really hope they settle in after the break and start to enjoy it a bit more....

And Bravo to DC1 - I worked with several social workers in my previous role with a charity and they do such an immensely difficult job for such little thanks and with so much pressure.

I work in Oxford and popped out to my fave sandwich shop at lunchtime. The sun was shining and my route took me past Radcliffe Square.

I know it's all too easy to get carried away with everything on offer but I do hope occasionally all your wonderful DCs get the chance to take a deep breath, look around them and absorb the fact that in spite of traffic and tourists this is an awesomely beautiful city!

@Panicmode1

Don't know if your DD is like mine but I have to constantly point out to her that these things actually reflect well on the person even when it isn't a "graduate" job.

Mine got a cleaning job extended and then the firm offered her a cover job for the receptionist. And I had to point out that people doing minimum wage jobs like cleaning don't tolerate laziness or attitude. If they're happy with you then that's a thing to be proud of!

Such great news @Panicmode1. You and your DH sound both resourceful and resilient. Qualities that I feel sure you will have instilled in your DC. Your DD will succeed in her graduate job search too.

@Panicmode1 yes I think the lack of social media was a huge boon - none of this watching lots of photos being shared on instagram, What's App groups etc. Thankfully she seems to be a lot better this week and has met some people she gets on with. I find the late night downloading quite emotionally draining... the parenting role might be different but not really easier 🙂

I've worked overseas a lot and relied on the blue fold out air mail letters to communicate with my BF. It was tough but you adjust your expectations accordingly. Now they all seems to panic if they haven't heard from BF at least once a day while for me somethings the post wouldn't get through for several weeks.