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Higher education

Talk to other parents whose children are preparing for university on our Higher Education forum.

Uni starters 2025/26 all welcome

576 replies

NCTDN · 07/09/2025 08:54

Following on from a year 13 support thread, thought this might be nice to ease us into their new chapters. We had a lovely one for my older DC so created this to help us navigate everything!

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SingingAvocado · 11/12/2025 15:09

BigFatMumma · 11/12/2025 15:03

Oh gosh, I bet heard about that in Southampton 😮what the hell! I heard about Sheffield and about the Leicester belt incident

what the heck is wrong with people

Southampton was our insurance choice so my YP could have gone there quite easily
I can imagine that common is A bit scary at night 😰

https://www.southampton.ac.uk/news/2025/12/statement-from-the-vicechancellor-.page

BigFatMumma · 11/12/2025 15:12

OH my goodness that is so sad

BigFatMumma · 11/12/2025 15:14

SingingAvocado · 11/12/2025 14:45

Yes! DD is popping back today (yay) but then returns for lectures on Weds / Thurs of next week. Midwifery has long terms and lots of her friends have left already. Uni of Southampton is reeling and sombre after the stabbing of a Fresher last Weds (night of 3 Dec) who was walking back to halls after his football society's Christmas party. Shockingly sad news and I feel desperately for his family whilst also (selfishly) fearing for our children. DH has asked DD to find someone to go running with on the Common now and not go alone.

Do you think your dad will follow your husbands advice and not run alone ?
it’s so sad we have to confer having to alter our plans in this way

I bet you’ll be so glad to get her home after all this

MotherOfCatBoy · 11/12/2025 15:54

The stabbing took place a street or two away from Portswood Rd, Southampton. DS is there so I looked it up on the local pages of BBC news. One of DS’ flatmates plays football and knew him. I can’t imagine what his family is going through. The report says people have been arrested, a youngster and one or two adults.

DS says he is always in a group when out at night.

It’s shaken me tbh, a young lad who won’t be coming home for Christmas. We’re picking DS up on Saturday. It’s not that I now think Southampton is unsafe, as such, just that it is completely shocking when something like that happens a little bit close to your own circumstances.

BigFatMumma · 11/12/2025 16:38

It really is shocking

Millionsofmonkeys · 11/12/2025 17:42

That's dreadful about the stabbing. I just cannot imagine.

DS isn't home til Monday. Term finishes Friday, but he has booked various films over the weekend (he's very into film)!

SingingAvocado · 11/12/2025 19:19

BigFatMumma · 11/12/2025 15:14

Do you think your dad will follow your husbands advice and not run alone ?
it’s so sad we have to confer having to alter our plans in this way

I bet you’ll be so glad to get her home after all this

So glad to have DD home. She got an extra big hug. She didn't go running on the Common this week (Yoga with Adriene in her bedroom instead!) but I'm suggesting she joins the athletics club and does their Thurs evening run, and maybe Saturday Park Run with them. She's nervous / rattled too – they went out on Tuesday to say goodbye to everyone going home for Christmas and were anxious getting home. The stabbing happened just two streets away from where her year 2 house is. That poor family … so devastating.

MollyButton · 11/12/2025 22:19

My DD isn’t home until this Saturday. She had an exam today and has two lessons tomorrow

crazycrofter · 11/12/2025 22:58

Nottingham uni term finishes on Friday. So sorry to hear about the Southampton student 😢

jamimmi · 11/12/2025 23:19

Lancaster finishes tomorrow too. Dd being picked up Saturday as she and housemates are having a night in/out tomorrow apparently. Cant wait to have her home.
My heart goes out to the poor family of the southhampton student. Ds was in liverpool when there were alot of stabbings, he definatly became street smart and wouldnt go to certain areas . It myst be a worry for students and familes there.

Changed18 · 14/12/2025 18:32

I'm very sorry to hear about what happened in Southampton - and so sorry for his family.

Changed18 · 14/12/2025 18:38

I'm also sorry to hear about DC who are not enjoying their courses. If they do decide to change course, I hope they find something that is right for them before long.

DS isn't home from uni yet - the Sheffield term doesn't end till next Friday - although once home he'll be home for a few weeks - looking forward to that.

Ineedcoffeenow · 15/12/2025 12:24

Napier don’t finish until Friday, but DD has an extension for coursework into 2nd Jan so it’s likely she’ll be working over Christmas. Not good, but her lecturer has been very supportive and at least she has a chance to do her best.

BigFatMumma · 27/12/2025 18:25

Hope everyone’s had a nice Xmas

BendoftheBeginning · 01/01/2026 13:52

A lovely Christmas here, thanks. My uni Freshers have been enjoying being at home (food on tap!) but are also looking forward to going back to their new friends and (gasp) even their studies. A good result for end of Term 1, I think!

Hope everyone’s YP have been enjoying their Christmas downtime.

Twistedfirestarters · 01/01/2026 15:44

We've had a lovely Christmas but I'm worried about my son. While on paper he seems to be doing ok - decent marks in tests, made some friends, house lined up for next year - he really isn't happy.

He missed all his lectures the last week for no other reason than not being able to motivate himself to get there.

He told me last night he's really unhappy. He doesn't know what to do because he's worried if he gives up the course and comes home he'll have nothing to do and still be miserable.

I've told him that he has our support with whatever he wants to do. There's no pressure from us to remain there.

I don't really know why I'm posting other than to get it off my chest. I don't think there's anything else I can do really. I just hate to think of him being miserable.

unsurewhattodoaboutit · 01/01/2026 16:06

Can he talk to his personal tutor. There are other options rather than stay/ give up like leave of absence etc.

NCTDN · 01/01/2026 16:07

@Twistedfirestarters it’s so hard. I’m not convinced I’m getting the whole story from ds even though I keep saying I’m always here to talk. Dd settled into university life easily so I think he feels pressured to be the same way.
He’s slept so much since being back which is not like he was before uni. Think he’s just exhausted.

OP posts:
Twistedfirestarters · 01/01/2026 16:10

unsurewhattodoaboutit · 01/01/2026 16:06

Can he talk to his personal tutor. There are other options rather than stay/ give up like leave of absence etc.

That's a really good point. I have been urging him to do this but I'll have another go at persuading him

@NCTDN this is the problem with boys isn't it? They aren't as open. I also have an older girl who shares all her feelings. I have had concerns about ds for a while but had to wait for him to open up.

BonjourCrisette · 01/01/2026 16:59

Do you think he is depressed? It might be worth seeing the GP while he is home.

Is he actually interested in the course, or does he feel he's picked the wrong subject? If it's the wrong subject and he can think of something else he would rather do, that might at least give him something to work towards. It would mean a gap year and a half and getting a job with perhaps a view to doing some travel later on, but that might be something he would actually enjoy.

It is definitely worth trying to find out what the root cause of the unhappiness is as it's almost certainly either wrong course or being away from home and these are both fixable with a bit of time and effort.

Good luck. It's so hard when our young people are unhappy. Makes you long for the long ago days when you could fix (almost) everything.

Twistedfirestarters · 01/01/2026 17:28

I think he is situationally depressed if you see what I mean. I think it's the unhappiness with his current situation depressing him rather than depression causing unhappiness with the course.

He didn't really know what he wanted to do and ended up doing this course because that's where his strengths lie - he's good at science and maths and is doing mechanical engineering. It's a full on course though, lectures all day Monday to Friday and plenty of extra work on top. I can see how it would be hard to motivate yourself if you're not actually that interested in the course.

Being away from home is easily fixed. He's not gone that far and could conceivably commute if necessary.

And yes, I wish to God he was a toddler again! Everything fixed with a hug, a snack and a spot of cbeebies.

Woollyguru · 01/01/2026 17:30

Twistedfirestarters · 01/01/2026 15:44

We've had a lovely Christmas but I'm worried about my son. While on paper he seems to be doing ok - decent marks in tests, made some friends, house lined up for next year - he really isn't happy.

He missed all his lectures the last week for no other reason than not being able to motivate himself to get there.

He told me last night he's really unhappy. He doesn't know what to do because he's worried if he gives up the course and comes home he'll have nothing to do and still be miserable.

I've told him that he has our support with whatever he wants to do. There's no pressure from us to remain there.

I don't really know why I'm posting other than to get it off my chest. I don't think there's anything else I can do really. I just hate to think of him being miserable.

So sorry to hear this. Has he said why he's unhappy?

I am constantly worried about DS. He seems to be doing fine but I honestly don't know if he'd even tell us if he was unhappy.

Twistedfirestarters · 01/01/2026 17:44

I'm sorry you're worried about your son too @Woollyguru

I didn't think my boy would tell us if he was unhappy but he has done so perhaps that's a good sign yours would say something too

He basically doesn't like the course or uni life. He feels like has hasn't made many friends. He has made a couple. He has friends there from school though so it's not like he's all alone. I think he might get used to uni life given time but struggling with both aspects is obviously making it really hard for him.

I am going to push a bit harder for him to speak to his personal tutor and find out what his options are.

NCTDN · 01/01/2026 18:28

At least he’s sorted with a house if that’s what he decides. DS isn’t.

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