Uni starters 2025/26 all welcome

[NCTDN]

Following on from a year 13 support thread, thought this might be nice to ease us into their new chapters. We had a lovely one for my older DC so created this to help us navigate everything!

https://www.southampton.ac.uk/news/2025/12/statement-from-the-vicechancellor-.page

OH my goodness that is so sad

Do you think your dad will follow your husbands advice and not run alone ?
it’s so sad we have to confer having to alter our plans in this way

I bet you’ll be so glad to get her home after all this

The stabbing took place a street or two away from Portswood Rd, Southampton. DS is there so I looked it up on the local pages of BBC news. One of DS’ flatmates plays football and knew him. I can’t imagine what his family is going through. The report says people have been arrested, a youngster and one or two adults.

DS says he is always in a group when out at night.

It’s shaken me tbh, a young lad who won’t be coming home for Christmas. We’re picking DS up on Saturday. It’s not that I now think Southampton is unsafe, as such, just that it is completely shocking when something like that happens a little bit close to your own circumstances.

It really is shocking

That's dreadful about the stabbing. I just cannot imagine.

DS isn't home til Monday. Term finishes Friday, but he has booked various films over the weekend (he's very into film)!

So glad to have DD home. She got an extra big hug. She didn't go running on the Common this week (Yoga with Adriene in her bedroom instead!) but I'm suggesting she joins the athletics club and does their Thurs evening run, and maybe Saturday Park Run with them. She's nervous / rattled too – they went out on Tuesday to say goodbye to everyone going home for Christmas and were anxious getting home. The stabbing happened just two streets away from where her year 2 house is. That poor family … so devastating.

My DD isn’t home until this Saturday. She had an exam today and has two lessons tomorrow

Nottingham uni term finishes on Friday. So sorry to hear about the Southampton student 😢

Lancaster finishes tomorrow too. Dd being picked up Saturday as she and housemates are having a night in/out tomorrow apparently. Cant wait to have her home.
My heart goes out to the poor family of the southhampton student. Ds was in liverpool when there were alot of stabbings, he definatly became street smart and wouldnt go to certain areas . It myst be a worry for students and familes there.

I'm very sorry to hear about what happened in Southampton - and so sorry for his family.

I'm also sorry to hear about DC who are not enjoying their courses. If they do decide to change course, I hope they find something that is right for them before long.

DS isn't home from uni yet - the Sheffield term doesn't end till next Friday - although once home he'll be home for a few weeks - looking forward to that.

Napier don’t finish until Friday, but DD has an extension for coursework into 2nd Jan so it’s likely she’ll be working over Christmas. Not good, but her lecturer has been very supportive and at least she has a chance to do her best.

https://www.theguardian.com/education/2025/dec/17/students-uk-university-halls-isolated-lonely-poll-shows?CMP=fb_gu&utm_medium=Social&utm_source=Facebook&fbclid=IwdGRleAOvUJ9zcnRjBmFwcF9pZAo2NjI4NTY4Mzc5AAEemndZ3GeL7mN0oXKE66qG4Etgn1t_PDWURd8gK3j4PR85Hj9XAeeX58CBARE&brid=lwKNudAplR3kP-r5QG1iQg#Echobox=1765956168

Hope everyone’s had a nice Xmas

A lovely Christmas here, thanks. My uni Freshers have been enjoying being at home (food on tap!) but are also looking forward to going back to their new friends and (gasp) even their studies. A good result for end of Term 1, I think!

Hope everyone’s YP have been enjoying their Christmas downtime.

We've had a lovely Christmas but I'm worried about my son. While on paper he seems to be doing ok - decent marks in tests, made some friends, house lined up for next year - he really isn't happy.

He missed all his lectures the last week for no other reason than not being able to motivate himself to get there.

He told me last night he's really unhappy. He doesn't know what to do because he's worried if he gives up the course and comes home he'll have nothing to do and still be miserable.

I've told him that he has our support with whatever he wants to do. There's no pressure from us to remain there.

I don't really know why I'm posting other than to get it off my chest. I don't think there's anything else I can do really. I just hate to think of him being miserable.

Can he talk to his personal tutor. There are other options rather than stay/ give up like leave of absence etc.

@Twistedfirestarters it’s so hard. I’m not convinced I’m getting the whole story from ds even though I keep saying I’m always here to talk. Dd settled into university life easily so I think he feels pressured to be the same way.
He’s slept so much since being back which is not like he was before uni. Think he’s just exhausted.

That's a really good point. I have been urging him to do this but I'll have another go at persuading him

@NCTDN this is the problem with boys isn't it? They aren't as open. I also have an older girl who shares all her feelings. I have had concerns about ds for a while but had to wait for him to open up.

Do you think he is depressed? It might be worth seeing the GP while he is home.

Is he actually interested in the course, or does he feel he's picked the wrong subject? If it's the wrong subject and he can think of something else he would rather do, that might at least give him something to work towards. It would mean a gap year and a half and getting a job with perhaps a view to doing some travel later on, but that might be something he would actually enjoy.

It is definitely worth trying to find out what the root cause of the unhappiness is as it's almost certainly either wrong course or being away from home and these are both fixable with a bit of time and effort.

Good luck. It's so hard when our young people are unhappy. Makes you long for the long ago days when you could fix (almost) everything.

I think he is situationally depressed if you see what I mean. I think it's the unhappiness with his current situation depressing him rather than depression causing unhappiness with the course.

He didn't really know what he wanted to do and ended up doing this course because that's where his strengths lie - he's good at science and maths and is doing mechanical engineering. It's a full on course though, lectures all day Monday to Friday and plenty of extra work on top. I can see how it would be hard to motivate yourself if you're not actually that interested in the course.

Being away from home is easily fixed. He's not gone that far and could conceivably commute if necessary.

And yes, I wish to God he was a toddler again! Everything fixed with a hug, a snack and a spot of cbeebies.

So sorry to hear this. Has he said why he's unhappy?

I am constantly worried about DS. He seems to be doing fine but I honestly don't know if he'd even tell us if he was unhappy.

I'm sorry you're worried about your son too @Woollyguru

I didn't think my boy would tell us if he was unhappy but he has done so perhaps that's a good sign yours would say something too

He basically doesn't like the course or uni life. He feels like has hasn't made many friends. He has made a couple. He has friends there from school though so it's not like he's all alone. I think he might get used to uni life given time but struggling with both aspects is obviously making it really hard for him.

I am going to push a bit harder for him to speak to his personal tutor and find out what his options are.

At least he’s sorted with a house if that’s what he decides. DS isn’t.