Son didn't pass degree

[anotherglass]

Hello, please be gentle as I am heartbroken for son. He has not passed the degree after failing to get the required credits. He can resit his exams but the most he can achieve is a pass, and no Honours. After 4 years of study he is devastated. He worked hard and passed his dissertation. I am in shock and it breaks my heart to see him so downhearted. Anyone have advice please on how to navigate thru this and keep him feeling good about himself. I am trying to remain positive but inside I am devastated. Thank you

@anotherglass

What is he hoping to do career-wise, OP?

As he may only achieve a pass on his degree ( engineering ) this will lock out many graduate entry routes. He is re-sitting his exams and hoping to build this back up to an Hons degree. He is not sure what his next step will be now. He's still absorbing the consequences. Perhaps it will be time out to figure out the next step.

So sorry to hear this.

Good he's re-sitting his exams; I hope he passes and gets his degree. A degree vs no degree is a huge deal, even if it's a scrape.

Out of 80 students on my uni course one failed (close friend). He resat and got a third. Went to Thailand and Vietnam to teach TEFL and has had the time of his life for the last ten years (I'm jealous!) - they just require a degree, no requirements on the grade! There are options out there!

Good luck to your son x

@anotherglass

He might find one of the Engineering roles in the Royal Navy interesting, OP, especially the Accelerated Entry Scheme. There is scope for completing a degree in service.

https://www.royalnavy.mod.uk/engineers

https://www.royalnavy.mod.uk/careers/roles/accelerated-apprentice-scheme-air-engineering

I also know someone from uni who failed, resat and got a third. They decided to start again, went to a different uni, redid another bachelors in the same subject, followed by a masters and they now have a phd. I'm not suggesting your son should do the same, just that it must have felt like the end of the world to that person at the time. I couldn't believe it when I looked them up on LinkedIn a few years back! Was so happy to see how it turned out for them.

Sometimes these things turn out to be the making of us and drive us on to better things.

@anotherglass

Air Engineer Officer may also be possible, if he finishes his degree and it is considered acceptable.

https://www.royalnavy.mod.uk/careers/roles/air-engineer-officer

Thank you for this inspirational and encouraging story. It feels like we have an uphill struggle at the moment, especially as his friends are preparing for their graduation ceremonies and looking for jobs. He did work really hard but I don't think it was the right course for him, with a disability. It will take a lot of support and determination to get through these next few months until the resits but as long as there is options there is hope. Thank you

Thank you. Will check out.

It's sad your son has failed but please build his confidence up He might fail again on a resit concentrate on what he wants to do

I also have several close friends who dropped out of uni half way through and they have all gone on to have good, well respected careers. They're married, happy and settled. Some of them have kids now too.

At the time, to me, their decision seemed like lunacy. But it has not held any of them back.

I'm honestly not convinced uni is right for a lot of people and I include myself in that category. I had to resit some exams myself and I was absolutely doing the wrong course. I stuck it out and saw it through, got a 2:1 in the end but I don't work in my degree field.

In fact, hardly anyone I work with has a degree and the only thing that matters in my industry is industry qualifications anyway.

Best of luck to your son OP. There will be a way forward once the dust settles and you can help him work out what to do.

Don't beat yourself up for feeling disappointed either, it's totally understandable to feel that way x

So sorry you and he are going through this. One of my DS also failed his degree (difficult as he brother was fine and graduated). I know it's too early for you to think of next steps but honestly my DS has been fine. He got a totally different job, realised the subject he studied wasn't for him, went crazy for a bit then settled down. I know it's easy for me to say now, but it won't always feel like the end of the world, and they can come through and do well doing other things.

It's hard because a year now (probably won't even be a full one) feels like such a lot but in the grand scheme of life it's absolutely nothing.

I can remember a friend deciding not to follow us to uni and to take another a level instead because she had decided to do speech therapy and didn't have the right combination.

It felt so massive at the time and like she was left behind but she earned in that year, went to uni the next and is absolutely top of her field now.

Similarly I have a cousin that dropped out of an engineering degree, worked in pubs, went back a few years later and it's fair to say he's out earned the rest of the family and certainly those of us who got humanities degrees, even if ours were firsts

He will find a path forward and you sound a lovely mum who will help him get over this bump.

For goodness sake why must every failure or problem be down to someone being neurodivergent now.
It's either that or an amateur diagnosis. People are obsessed.

I am so sorry. As a mum
of an engineering student myself it is not an easy course so I hope your son is not so hard on himself. Not all degrees are equal and engineering is an extremely difficult one to get through. I hope he does well in his resits.

For goodness sake why must every failure or problem be down to someone being neurodivergent now

Agreed.
Just found out mine has got a 2:2. He’s gutted as most of his modules were 2:1 and dissertation 65%. He’s not ND. Wrong course, wrong uni or wrong time to get the most out of it.

I fucked it at uni. Had a baby basically half way through, suicide of his dad a year on and I just buried my head on whether I could actually reach my potential. I did not.

But the amazing thing is, uni doesn’t necessarily teach you how to do a job. You learn transferable skills.

I took, what was initially an easy job, whilst considering whether I should go back to studying. My experience at uni made me stand out compared to my cohort and I worked up quickly. I’m well paid, senior management. I’m settled, my son is at a top 5 UK uni.

It might seem horrible right now, but life is what you put in and your son is already learning. He’ll be fine in the end ❤️

ok I know there is an importance attached to degree classification when it come to some graduate schemes but I’d never heard of it til I moved to this country. I have a degree and a masters (from USA) and there’s no classification attached. No one has ever asked about it (after graduating with my undergraduate degree I moved here, I didn’t get my masters until several years later). It didn’t stop me getting any jobs. Outside of graduate schemes is it that relevant?
I hope he manages to get a good outcome and gets his self confidence back. It’s so hard to see your own child suffering. All the best.

Thank you. We are moving forward. x

It’s not. It’s that those who ARE ND are at a higher risk of academic underperformance because the system is structured for the NT.

You've never heard of GPA attainments for degrees in the U.S? Not heard of Cum Laude, Magna Cum Laude, Summa Cum Laude? those are the U.S equivalents of degree classifications in the U.K.

Aerospace engineering- typically the second year counts for 50% of the grade and the final year the other 50%, so he must have known at least a year ago that it was looking bad? And passing most of the exams but failing overall sounds very unlikely.

A non honours degree won’t help him find related work so if he does want to stay in that field he does need to find a way to boost the result- and to be honest would probably need a 2:1.

what does he want to do next? Maybe that’s the key thing?

He passed his second year but struggled in his final year, bombing out in two exams and narrowly failing a third. He has graduated now with a degree, no honours, but is looking to resit the two failed exams to upgrade the degree to Honours. Things haven't worked out perfectly but this is we are where we are.

DS2 has just completed his first year in an engineering degree. His results are all over the place from 1st in maths to 2:2 to required resits. He exceeded the grade requirements for MEng. He is autistic and has ADHD. He was un medicated prior to and during most of his first year due to shortages followed by referral to cardiology. His DSA support didn’t start til the spring term and one support worker provided 1 hour support when 30 was approved. He always says everything is fine and doesn’t ask for help. He has never been to the library and relies totally on lecture notes. He doesn’t know what independent study is. I have always been his advocate but now he is expected to advocate for himself. No one at the uni knows these issues - he has not even contacted his personal tutor let alone disability services and just thinks he needs to work harder. I will ask him to OK contact with parent. Otherwise I foresee he will not get the support he is due and will fail despite academic ability.

My son did the same but we insisted he re-sat them and is now very successful and lives a very nice life abroad, having retired at 47.