Son didn't pass degree

[anotherglass]

Hello, please be gentle as I am heartbroken for son. He has not passed the degree after failing to get the required credits. He can resit his exams but the most he can achieve is a pass, and no Honours. After 4 years of study he is devastated. He worked hard and passed his dissertation. I am in shock and it breaks my heart to see him so downhearted. Anyone have advice please on how to navigate thru this and keep him feeling good about himself. I am trying to remain positive but inside I am devastated. Thank you

Did he have an inkling? Did he ask for support?
When one door shuts another opens. A degree isn’t always absolutely necessary to do well in life.

First things to do are to find out why he failed, and see whether you can muster any mitigation that could allow him to discard some/all of his results and resit for honours. I used to teach at a university that was pretty liberal in this, though others may differ in their approach.

He kept his results from us and I don't think he asked for extra support with the modules he failed. He didn't want to face up to things, perhaps. He worked hard and passed his dissertation but had a really bad result with two exams. We are where we are and I am heartbroken.

I am sorry to hear this OP, it must be heartbreaking for you. It sounds as though he is shocked however he would have known his scores etc after each essay. At some point when things have settled I think you need to explore with him about what happened. He will know this, you know this but I think it’s about letting things settle.

I am surprised that this potential result was not clear some time ago and advice and support forthcoming.

Can you please provide some more information on how to proceed with this route. His tutors had remarked that his results were all over the place, ie he did well on some and bombed out with others. He wasn't a poor student overall as he passed most of his exams.

Thank you. I think things do need to settle. I have asked him if he wants to speak to a doctor / specialist about the issues and he has agreed.

I am surprised too

Poor lad. You and he must feel rotten.

This isn't the end of the world. It must feel rotten now, but the important thing is that he figures out what's next. He worked hard, so you know and he knows he has a good work ethic. He can re-sit, which seems sensible. Lots of employers will be far more interested in someone who can demonstrate a work ethic, and who can get their head down in the face of difficulties, than someone who has always found life easy.

Does he have a recognised special need registered with the University? If so he needs to contact them and discuss the issue.

Otherwise I don’t think this will have come as much of a surprise to him, students are kept very well informed as to their progress with both course work and other evaluations and really do know what they need to do to pass modules.

He will have known for some time that a) he had no chance of a first, Upper or Lower Second and b) that he was very close to a third or a fail, but has clearly ignored advice. some students of course find the transition from school to University difficult because they are not used to organising their own learning and may lack motivation and application, but by the third year he should have been able to sort this out for himself.

I’m surprised that if he worked hard and did well on some modules that he failed, it takes quite a lot to actually fail rather than get a third for example. Has he shown you his module results breakdown?

T
hank you.

No we haven't got the results yet. They are out July 11

There will be a process for mitigating factors - it will vary from university to university but it will be documented in student handbooks and on the student-facing website (which may not be visible without a university account login). Ideally this should be done before results come out. Look for known medical issues, undiagnosed medical issues especially dyslexia and autism-ADHD and life events. Talk to the tutors for the subjects that he failed to try to get a handle on what went wrong. See if there is help available through the student union or the team that looks after disabled students (universities operate a very wide definition of what amounts to disability).

No registered disability. I have suspected ADHD but we never got an assessment. My bad.

Listen a pass is fine - it’s still a degree! Total respect to your son for achieving that. Let’s face it, there are millions of people on this planet who will never achieve the level of education your son has AND he’s a native English speaker (presumably)…do you realise what kind of advantage that gives you in the global workforce?!. He is young and has learned how to work hard (at his dissertation). It’s up to him to go out there and get ahead - he can do it! Be proud and encourage him to get out there and rise above it all.

Get him assessed as soon as you can. NHS waiting lists are bad - if you possibly can, go private but make sure they are reputable. Universities often have tame assessors - talk to the special needs/disability people. Otherwise, there will be somewhere on here or on places like Reddit where you can get recommendations.

Just bear in mind though that once diagnosed, always diagnosed. I am in my 60s now. In my 40s I worked out that I am very likely autistic, but in the context of where I was then a diagnosis would be unlikely to help and could actively lead to me being discriminated against.

Thank you for the encouragement. It's very early days and we are still processing the shock and disappointment - this heat is not helping with feeling normal.

Couldn’t disagree with this more.

At the OPs son’s age, knowing his neurotype may make it easier for him to access any necessary support.

Yes, he will always know his diagnosis but that is private and he doesn’t need to disclose it to all and sundry. He can choose on a case by case basis

Er, how?

I have diagnoses (two, lucky me), and I have never been in a situation where I had to disclose them. Sometimes I do, sometimes I don't. It's fine. No one forces you to say you have autism or whatever else. You chose whether or not you want to disclose it, based on whether or not you think it'd be useful.

First, it was 20 years ago and the world has changed. Second, then and now these things leak. You may choose to disclose to A because you think A is safe but not to B because B will victimise you. Then A tells B . . .

But this is derailing the thread.

But it is very common for young adults to feel they can't or shouldn't share this sort of information with their parents, or to bury their heads in the sand. I have no data, but I would imagine that a substantial proportion of students who are struggling (to the extent where they're likely to fail their degrees) are also students who are not managing to 'sort this out'. And that might be because they're not suited to being at university, or because the correct accommodations aren't in place, or just because they feel absolutely awful about everything going to pieces.

It's horrible, but the OP's son won't be alone in this. The important thing is working out how he can pick himself up and get on with the situation as it stands.

Ah, ok, I do take your point. Gossip can be vicious. But I think you're right; this isn't really relevant to the OP.

Sounds like he has buried his head in the sand for too long. He needs to have an open and serious conversation about his options to see if it is worth resitting. Unfortunately a pass is not good, depending on what career he wants.